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Old 06-15-2017, 10:16 AM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
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Default FACs involved again - sibling arrested

I am extremely frustrated so will vent a bit here.

FACs (Family Children Services) is involved with D8 again, at Mom's house.

This is more of what happened here,,
...but back then given the ages of the kids FACs downplayed it (and of course Mom) as sexual play. The son (her kid) had to take some kind of counseling. A "safety plan" was put in place, that Mom agreed to, where she would simply supevise the kids, so they weren't left alone together.

So now, earlier this week, D8 told me of more recent stuff that has happened with this brother, and it is more serious in nature.
Actually, D8 hinted it to her grandmother (my mom) who was visiting, because she told "Grandma" she wanted to tell "Dad" something, but was worried she would get in trouble, because "Mom said not to tell Dad".

More "sexual touching", and "requests" being made by son, to his little sister. D8 had told me (and it sounds like she also told FACs), that she had told Mom, and Mom grounded son. More than once.

Anyway, to get to the point. I had to call FACs to have this looked into. Nobody reported this before I found out and did. They investigated again. This time they deemed that what was said by the children and Mom, was enough to arrest the son (12? 13?), but they did not charge him. Instead, he is to take some programs/counselling, which need to be completed successfully, otherwise he gets charged. There will be counselling available for D8 too. I only believe this even happened at all, because I recorded D8's conversation with me (I was mostly listening), because I know if I had to recount what she told me, without the recording, it would have gone *nowhere*. They have not interviewed me. This is info I get when I have to chase them down. Some of Mom's info matched what they said, but I cannot rely on Mom's info alone.

FACs informs me that the children cannot reside with each other, or be together right now, so Mom is trying to come up with an arrangement for the son to stay elsewhere (family - sounds like grandmother's?), and D8 can continue being there, as long as son is not there. Because Mom does not have full plan in place yet, D8 has been staying with me so far the last few days, but her first overnight will likely be this weekend when son is apparently going to be away.

I am extremely frustrated, as this should not have even been able to happen again. When I ask FACs why they are not taking into consideration D8's comments about she has already told Mom and step-dad, and the timeline of this had been anywhere from a few weeks, to a month, before I had to report it when I was told, I just get answers, saying things like "Well, Mom claims she didn't know" and "Mom seems generally concerned and wants to work with us". D8 also said that Mom said "I know you want to tell your Dad, but you can't as I need to think." "You'll lose Mom, and you'll have to live with your Dad'. When I ask them if that is appropriate conversation to have with an 8 year old, given the situation, FACs gives answers like "would I like to see Mom not have that kind of conversation with D8? Sure". I thought there was supposed to be safety plan in place, where the kids are not even supposed to be alone together over there. "Well, that was back then. I can't recall any situation where we had a safety plan that was to stay in place forever".

Why I am extremely frustrated is trying to talk to a lawyer about this (FLIC office, and trying to get into a real consultation with lawer), is you get the "something doesn't add up here, as you have to be prepared for a judge to say - but the child wasn't removed, and FACs says there is no issue with current plan". They told me much the same last time too. "Sure, you can bring a motion to change - but a judge is going to rely on FACs assessment". What about the fact that this has happened multiple times, in two time periods that I know of now, added in with all the other parenting bullshit where Mom actively works against co-parenting, with all the stupid stuff too (like school, etc). Is it still really in D8's best interests, for Mom to be considered the primary caregiver - this stuff doesn't happen at my house.

"Well, that's added gist, but the FACs situation is the important issue".

Between FACs response, and lawyer answers, I'm almost hesitant to even look at this further, as nobody seems to care that this kind of thing should not even occur *at all*. Am I supposed to wait until the next type of situation like this occurs down the road?
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