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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 12-16-2013, 05:16 PM
mcr mcr is offline
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So my ex is now fabricating lies that she had to tolerate years of physical abuse while in my company. This seems to be done to 'defend her point' of having to quit her job (5 years after the separation) and stay at home full time.

I've already told my lawyer that I demand those lies (there was never any abuse to her, no investigations, no charges, nothing) be taken off the documents if I'm going to entertain any other points on there - but no response on that.

Anyone have any suggestions on dealing with an ex when she's lying and manipulative? Is the family law system as one sided as it's getting to seem? It's like whatever she says or requests, it's being listened to and demanded of me. Court is coming up in the new year, but her latest demands are a far cry from what she started out with in the original court application.

Oh, and can she have my passport nullified? She's also saying to her lawyer that I've been talking about 'fleeing the country'... that seemed to manifest itself shortly after I indicated "I'll be away on vacation for two weeks in March".

thanks for any help!
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Old 12-16-2013, 05:42 PM
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Judges can quite ably see through the pack of lies. Anything coming in without corroborating evidence is generally disregarded. So don't get the knickers in a knot. Divorce is dirty business. People lie about each other frequently.

No she cannot have your passport "nullified."

Don't give your ex more power than she has. You are best to discontinue communicating with her.

I certainly wouldn't recommend any sort of "tit for tat" response on your part. Hopefully your lawyer has good client control and can direct you to prepare and swear thoughtful and accurate affidavits.

You might find this an interesting read:

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/12...canada-alberta

Last edited by arabian; 12-16-2013 at 05:46 PM.
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Old 12-16-2013, 05:57 PM
DowntroddenDad DowntroddenDad is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcr View Post
So my ex is now fabricating lies that she had to tolerate years of physical abuse while in my company. This seems to be done to 'defend her point' of having to quit her job (5 years after the separation) and stay at home full time.

I've already told my lawyer that I demand those lies (there was never any abuse to her, no investigations, no charges, nothing) be taken off the documents if I'm going to entertain any other points on there - but no response on that.

Anyone have any suggestions on dealing with an ex when she's lying and manipulative? Is the family law system as one sided as it's getting to seem? It's like whatever she says or requests, it's being listened to and demanded of me. Court is coming up in the new year, but her latest demands are a far cry from what she started out with in the original court application.

Oh, and can she have my passport nullified? She's also saying to her lawyer that I've been talking about 'fleeing the country'... that seemed to manifest itself shortly after I indicated "I'll be away on vacation for two weeks in March".

thanks for any help!
I managed to avoid court, but I did deal with someone who lied and manipulated in the process to get a SA.

Don't get sidetracked. It can be a tactic to get you to focus on irrelevant issues. The onus of proof regarding abuse would be on her. The judge would be looking for police reports, doctors assessment's, affadavits from crisis counsellors - not just her word. She and her lawyer may know it won't stick, but they throw it in anyway to uspet you and get you off of the real issues.

Stick to email, stick to the issue at hand, don't argue, don't even discuss issues that are not important to the court.

Make an offer to settle, something reasonable. If she responds by email, keep that for court. Show that you have made an effort to be reasonable and avoid court.
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Old 12-16-2013, 05:59 PM
FightingForFamily FightingForFamily is offline
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My ex joined a victim's group for "survivors of domestic abuse". I'm not quite certain who else she was married to, because I don't remember any abuse.

I do maybe being angry when confronting her about lying to me, and I remember being unhappy being the only one trying to put in effort to try and save our marriage. I even remember thinking that maybe I should take control of our family finances back because I was starting to find her behaviour suspicious and deceitful. I do wish I had gone with that instinct before she stole everything that was joint...

So I'm a victim of lies, deceit and theft by an intimate partner. But apparently she's the one who is a victim of abuse...
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Old 12-16-2013, 06:10 PM
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hmm when I was being abused I worked all the hours I could to be out of the house and away from him.
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Old 12-16-2013, 06:14 PM
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Part of the problem, though, is that each and every 'distraction' her & her lawyer throw at me costs me from $250-$1000 in extra fees going to my lawyer.

I'm obviously seeking costs, but since she's quit her job, she has no income so I have no idea what will happen to 'costs'. She's living off her most recent husband and has lied to her parents and essentially has a blank cheque for her lawyer to stir this up.
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Old 12-16-2013, 07:18 PM
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You can instruct your lawyer to only respond to her lawyer:

1. With your written approval and,
2. To motions filed in the courthouse.

She is likely just trying to run up your legal bill. This tactic is not uncommon.
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Old 12-16-2013, 11:52 PM
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send a one liner response.

"all of allegations of abuse are false and unfounded the respondent puts the applicant to strict burden of proof."
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Old 12-17-2013, 01:22 AM
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@ Arabian... not all Judges can see through lies. In fact some may side with the lies. for example in my case,, my ex told the judge that our son told her that his dad had told him, that she bribed the judge and that is why she has got her way. I had to listen to a 15 minute speech from the Judge who was irate. When he did give me a chance to talk, I said Y.H how do we actually know if the boy said that, the judge said, what do you mean, its in the applicants affidavit. Like no one ever lies in their affidavits. When I asked my son about this, he said I told mom, that only because she had money she has managed to get so much done.
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Old 12-17-2013, 04:03 AM
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It seems to me that both you and your ex have dragged your son into your divorce affairs. The judge would be quite right to be upset.


For shame. Kid should have been in summer camp not dealing with parents divorce heresay evidence.

Last edited by arabian; 12-17-2013 at 04:19 AM.
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