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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 08-20-2006, 06:13 PM
Anne26 Anne26 is offline
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Default confuse... total mess..

Life hasn't been good to me these last few years. Basically to make my story short, I got married to my first love of 7 years. He was also my first boyfriend. We had tried to break up many times leading to our marriage(I cheated on him twice) but somehow, he kept on clinging on. Under family pressure, and time (as being living in a old asian custom, marrying early is a pride.. I was 25 when I got married) Marrying him would be the best thing I have ever done in my 25 years. I had really tried to be faithful, be patient with him, change as much as I can for him. It's hard because I'm a very outgoing person. My dad has bone cancer so it's only me taking care of him during our 1 year of marriage. Jealousy towards my time with my parents and him has put a barrier through me. Saddens me. But I kept going. In my mind, I've always believe that it is any womens dream to find a man that loves you, so unconditionally more than you did him will work, cause men tends to cheat more than women. I'm a nurse and feeling compassionate is my biggest flow. I love him... I mean, we have 7 years together, but I'm not sure what kind of love is it if I can't stay true to him. Recently, my sister and I went on a trip to CA. I meet a guy there and felt free, and SINGLE again. What happens led me to know that councelling is what my husband and I need. Don't know what's wrong with me. After I came back home, 4 days later, my Dad pass away. During the time of mourning for him, my husband hacked through my sister's account and my email account and found out of my affair. And so now he wants a divorce. He's so angry right. Saying and using things to hurt me. I don't know anything about divorce and how serious it is. I'm scared. Everything is joint. Is he going to use the affair to get back at me in court? What is my right?? I've cheated on him before... I just wish I had to mind and the power to have broken it off 4 years ago instead of being weak and listening to everyone and now it gets to this point. My guilt makes me not want anything from his. Just wanted everything to go smoothly between us. But he's making me feel angry by telling my mom. during this time after my dad's death that her daughter's a slut and a liar. It's amazing how everything seems to fall apart after my Dad died. The marriage, the lies, he got to rest in peace. What should I do now??
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