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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 10-12-2012, 04:57 PM
Bygonedays Bygonedays is offline
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Default Time Limit on claiming asset equalization/support

Hi Everyone
I am trying to word this as simple as I can, but explain my situation enough for people to understand it.

I had a company, and because of various issues, including health, things fell apart. I knew things were not looking good, so I did some shuffling to try and protect my family if all failed. I had personally signed for all the corporate debt, and I took all of our personal debt into my name plus any assets we did have personally, I put into my wife's name. Dec 23, 2009, the bank pulls the plug and we are done. We have very typical marital difficulties afterwards. Things are rocky, we are trying to make things work, she finds someone, and I get severed with divorce papers.

I talked to my lawyer and said I might have to declare bankruptcy and I also said I don't want anything except Monday and Thursdays 3-830 and every other weekend with my 4 children ages 5-10(2010) Divorced Nov 2011, still haven't settle anything yet and I haven't received a list of assets from my former wife. I asked the lawyer, and was told because I filed for bankruptcy, I couldn't ask. I said I hadn't filed yet, and because my debt is so large (over 2 million) I might have to because nobody wants to bother pushing me into bankruptcy. Also I said I wouldn't ask for equalization if I could have my children in these times.

Gets kicked back and forth, then I run into some issues with my lawyer about money and I am on my own as of Sept 2012. (I think I wasn't treated fair considering a lot of other circumstances but that can be another note.) I go to court this week representing myself because I don't have a lawyer and although legal aid would give me a little help, I couldn't find anyone in this short of time. Spend two days, thought I did well considering I know zero about being a lawyer, and was told I was an excellent father, have done the best I could considering the circumstance and I am critical part of my children's lives(7-12). Then he said my Ex wife gets sole custody and can move to the USA with my children to marry her boyfriend. I had all kinds of documents defending my situation but some didn't get admitted because of my abilities as a lawyer, and some were admitted but didn't seem to matter.

So I’m now divorce, and custody and child support have been dealt with and are done at the moment. In trial it came up about misallocation of funds by my ex and providing for the children. There has always been a back and forth about asset equalization and support but it has now been determined by the courts that by all the evidence given I only owe the last 2 months of child support.

There is a lot of money at stake here in asset equalization. She had no debt because it was all in my name, and took a $25000 Vehicle (insurance paid that out in a claim), $36000 jewelry (homeowner policy appraisal) home contents $30 000 plus bank accounts and miscellaneous. Also, I don't know if she received this, but she was applying for a $125 000 tax deductions because of lost shareholders equity in the company when it closed. If she was successful, it would give her a tax rebate of about $25 to $35 000. There are some questionable bookkeeping entries but that can be another day. Now, I have been sick for a few years, but before I did get sick, I made an excellent income and supported my family. The last couple of years before the bankruptcy I wasn't able to work much and didn't make as much, but my wife made over 100k/year.

To me, it looks simple to solve the money issue in that all I am looking for is her bank accounts, tax returns, and asset list. At the very least I know she had a $25 000 vehicle plus whatever the value on household goods is (even if only $5000) so she would owe me $15 000 and if there is tax credits, bank accounts etc, it could be $30 or $40k. She did admit in an email that she only netted about $15 000.

In my mind, there are 2 very important issues here. First is, where did the money go? It came up in court about me buying cloths, hats, gloves, coats, school supplies, etc for my children because they needed them, but weren't getting them. I said she misallocated the money, but she said she didn't have any and that is why she didn't buy them what they needed. The second is I said she could keep everything so she could have a nice home as long as I could have my children on those days but now she is moving to the USA.

This fight is about 1 thing and that is me being able to spend as much time as I can with my children. Up until now, I have seen them 45% of the days, of which 1/2 were overnight, and most were long days including lunch, supper, etc. I want to continue that as much as possible.

There mother is how she is. It was hard in court because I didn't want to sound like a bitter husband, but I was trying to express myself. Her priorities are whatever matter to her. I don't want to say she doesn't care, but in her mind all that matters is what she thinks is important and what anyone else thinks doesn't matter if she thinks this is silly. I hope this helps to explain my point. My girls have their stuffies; webkinz, beanie babies etc. They are very important to them, give them names, take them to bed etc. When I put my children to bed, I tuck them and their "friends" in because it is very important to them. I know their names, and I treat them with the respect my children want, because it is important to them. Their mother thinks stuffies are silly, so she throws them I the closet, on the ground if they are on the table, in the garbage if they are old. I don't want to say she doesn't care about her children; it is she doesn't care because she doesn't think it is important and she can't see anything outside of her comprehension. It is the same when the girls bring home art. They can't put it on the fridge, and if she thinks it's ugly, she throws it out even when it hurts their feelings because she doesn't see the pain it causes.

For me, this is how I think. When things were closing and I was trying to move things around, it wasn't to walk away with a huge amount of cash. All I wanted was my wife to be able to keep her credit card so one of us would have one, be able to rent, get utilities etc. I have a lot of friends that I owe tens of thousands of dollars to but I still talk to them and we are good because they understand what happened, its part of business and if I could, I would pay them back although it will probably never happen.
There is the cleaning lady that cleaned the offices and was burned for a few hundred dollars and that really bothers me. She is a single mom trying to raise small children and that money means more to here than the thousands my friends lost. Although I don't have much, when I see her in town, I try to give her 25 or 50 dollars to pay her back because I know it really matter to her. When I did talk to my wife about the money we had put aside, I told her this. "I don't think we should have nothing, but when we live in a nicer house, drive a better car, and go on longer vacations than the people who got screwed, it’s not right." Her response was "Fckem, that’s part of business".

When I got my divorce papers, she had put Jan 2010 the date of separation, 2 weeks after foreclosure. I think she was letting me believe we were trying to resolve to get me to file bankruptcy so I couldn't claim equalization, and when I found out she was having an affair, it didn't matter then.

I want to put pressure on her in any way possible to keep my children here. Is there anything I can do? I don’t want my children to feel they are caught in the middle, but I believe they would rather stay in Canada than Live in the USA. I did examine her boyfriend in court and he seemed to be what I thought he would. A really nice guy who makes an excellent income and who had no idea what he was getting involved in when they met online. I'm sure he was told, and believed, that we separated in Jan, and had been separated for months before they started dating, and there was just a paperwork formality to finish.

Wow, if this is the short version, I wonder how long the whole story would be.
  #2  
Old 10-12-2012, 05:13 PM
OrleansLawyer OrleansLawyer is offline
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Quote:
Divorced Nov 2011, still haven't settle anything yet and I haven't received a list of assets from my former wife.
Why would you have gotten a divorce if the issues are not settled? Was someone in a rush to get remarried?

You have two years to seek equalization after a divorce judgment.

You have some complicated issues that would be best served by legal representation. If you can, obtain legal aid. Otherwise, consider debt financing or see how understanding the lawyer will be in terms of a schedule of payment.
  #3  
Old 10-12-2012, 08:05 PM
Bygonedays Bygonedays is offline
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I opened up the mail one day and there was a note from the court saying i was divorced. I had no idea it was coming. From what i gather, her lawyer went to court and got it done without us knowing. Now, I think my wife was in a hurry for 2 reasons. First i think she wanted it done because she told her boyfriend it was just a formality, and second, she wants to get married and move to the use and she can't start the process when she is still married.

Another question is can i get a copy of the transcripts from the trial? It will give me a better idea on what info to pull together, plus i will have a copy of her testimony so i can dig up the info I need to prove she has mistakenly remembered the facts.

Trial was yesterday and i am just taken the weekend to collect my thoughts. I will phone Legal Aid Monday to see who i can talk to and see if they can help going forward. I know if i have the means, i have to pay them back, and i am hoping that if they feel I have a case they will help because if i win, i will be able to pay.

She has already sent a note about me taking my one daughter overnight so i can drop her off a school early for a trip. I am sure that now she has custody and support settled, I will see my children even more than 45%. At 45% i was told i was a last resort(which i did get into evidence) so i wonder how much time my children really see their mother compared to me.
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Old 10-12-2012, 08:21 PM
Bygonedays Bygonedays is offline
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As for my lawyer, I was really disappointed. I have paid over 8k, but i am tapped. I had to file a motion to postpone the trial because i had surgery and that was done in spring/summer. They were going to file 2 motions after; one for a list of assets, and one for separate representation for the children. I was told i needed a retainer for 7500 for trial and we couldn't go forward without it.

Now, i know they can't go to trial if they can't get paid, and i understand that so i don't want people to think i am unrealistic, but...

I was told if i can't afford trial, i should try to settle for more favourable terms than i would get but when i ask for a copy of my original proposal because my ex said she didn't get it, i couldn't get a copy either. I believe we sent one, and if we did, it shouldn't be a huge issue to send me a copy, and if we didn't send one, just say so.

Even if you can't go to trial, you had to file a motion to be removed from counsel so you could of filed the other two motions for me and taken that risk that i would pay you or let me know ahead what that would cost so i can get that done.

Legal aid gave me a certificate for 2 hrs for a lawyer to look at my case so they could of looked and given me some advise as what to expect representing myself. I was never told at all what my chances were on anything so i had no idea what was reasonable to expect and i understand that right and wrong doesn't translate into winning and losing.

I am missing a lot of paperwork because i moved several times and although i was suppose to be emailed everything, i didn't always get that. I got no paperwork from my file for use in court.

Every time I asked for something all I was told was that we can't go forward without the deposit.
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