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Old 09-21-2012, 11:36 AM
SoTired SoTired is offline
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Question Need help/advice

I should have put this in the financial section but wasn't sure what I was doing.

Hello to all. I have really needed a place to sound off and get opinions, so was very happy to find this site. I am giving you a lot of information before I get to my problem but hope that the back ground will help.

Married - May 1990
Separated - May 2006
2 sons - at time of separation 13 and 11
Ex - at time of separation income approximately $95,000, travelled province for work
Me - worked part time

Agreed that he pay mortgage and taxes while settlement was worked out. Took 4 years for settlement - which happened to coincide with oldest about to turn 18. Ex furious to find out that he was missing 2 credits and had to return to school for another semester.

Broke and getting deeper in debt by this time and could no longer afford to fight and try and get back support. Lawyer not really seeming to care.

3 months after agreement youngest all of a sudden decides to live with Ex. I signed papers agreeing to pay child support after I talked to different lawyer who says I have no choice after taking over $3,000.00. FRO deducted this from what I was receiving in child support and alimony.

Alimony $700.00 per month taking into account amount of child support being paid with increase to $800.00 if he made over $120,000.00. Total of $1905.00 which I received for 4 months.

2010 made over $120,000.00 - FRO says need new order
2011 - oldest no longer child of marriage as Ex refuses to help with post secondary which was put in our agreement by him (I disagreed) that we would pay for.
2011 - FRO's legal department says I don't have to pay for youngest? I don't know why.
2011 - start proceedings (without legal counsel) to get alimony increased but offset by amount I should pay for child support - Ex won't agree - wants child support.
2012 - back in court again - judge is incredulous that he won't pay lessor spousal to take into account child support but does agree with an increase in spousal. (Ex now living common law and making $135,000.00) (Me now making $50,000.)

July of this year trial management conference another judge that can't believe he wants child support- going to trial. Judge orders new financials be served and filed by September 15th.

Now my dilemma begins. He didn't file or serve his financials. I have to have Trial Record filed by October 15th. I can file a motion to hold him in contempt but is it worth is?

What do I do next?

I am sorry if this is long winded but I was trying to give as much information as possible.

Last edited by SoTired; 09-21-2012 at 11:55 AM. Reason: Wrong topic
Old 09-21-2012, 03:04 PM
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billm billm is offline
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You want ex to pay you SS less your table CS for youngest.

Does your ex want you to pay him table CS and him to pay you agreed to SS?

Those are not equivalent because SS is tax deductible for him. So if that is why he does not want to do it your way, then I agree with him.
Old 09-21-2012, 08:29 PM
SoTired SoTired is offline
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I get the whole tax thing. I do income tax. The issue first and foremost is that he is not filing the court ordered paperwork and as I am representing myself I don't know where to go with this.
Please remember that although I have given you a lot of information you don't know everything. That he has lied about assets, mileage, company vehicle, expenses. Even the judge questioned him on the fact that he works all over the province for a government company and he wanted them to believe that he was not reimbursed for that. This was something else he was ordered to have filed with the court last week.
The man out and out told me that he was not planning on paying child support and he has managed to pull that off quite well yet he who makes $85,000.00 more than I do a year expects me to pay him?
If we made close to the same amount in a year I would totally understand. That however is not the case.
Old 09-21-2012, 09:56 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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What exactly is your question? You have no choice but to pay CS... and he should have been paying CS too, however how billm laid it out is what should happen... you pay him CS and he pay you the SS...

Him lying is really nothing new in family court, what are you gaining by explaining this? I understand you may want to provide more of the picture, however him lying doesn't excuse the fact you still owe CS and he still owes SS...
Old 09-21-2012, 10:27 PM
SoTired SoTired is offline
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My question is still regarding where do I go with him not filing his financial statements and expenses like he was ordered to do?

I guess that is why I was explaining more. My original question has always been what do I do next? Not how much CS or SS but that is all both responses have been about. No one can ever try and guess what a judge is going to decide I just need to follow the proper procedures getting there when I am representing myself.
Old 09-22-2012, 10:53 AM
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hadenough hadenough is offline
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My ex never did submit "full and frank" financial disclosure. It was like pulling teeth. Never did get it all and we went to trial. His income was imputed. I too was frustrated by the fact that we never received full disclosure. There are many others who don't get it either. It really drags things on.
Old 09-22-2012, 03:36 PM
SoTired SoTired is offline
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I am lucky in that he can't hide his base wage because he is on the Sunshine list. That does not take into account the fact that he is supplied a company vehicle, mileage when he uses his own and all expenses. Yet he claims as expenses his fuel, repairs etc. on his financials.
Why is it that he is in contempt of a court order yet it is me that has to bring the motion forward?
I am guessing that all I can do is make sure that I am up front and honest and pray for the best.
Old 09-22-2012, 04:38 PM
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arabian arabian is offline
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My advice is to pay whatever you have to pay so that you are not deemed in contempt of court. If you miscalculate then you can honestly say "oops" or I didn't have all of the information.

If both parties are in contempt then the chances are the judge will get angry and dismiss your case until you both purge your contempt.

I would only bring a contempt motion forward if I was 100% sure that I had all my i's dotted ....
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