Ottawa Divorce .com Forums

User CP

New posts


  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools
Old 07-30-2012, 11:00 AM
stressedmama stressedmama is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 40
stressedmama is on a distinguished road
Default Moving closer to the NCP... Should I?

Some background:
- My ex moved out in March of this year. He stayed with his mother for about a month then moved in with his grandmother. He moved out of the area and since neither of us drives, he cannot do overnights during the week when school is in session (or so he believes).

- His grandmother has decided to move back to Montreal so he will be moving into another apartment.

- My ex has been under fire from his family about the amount of time he has been spending with S7 since the divorce. He generally takes our son from Saturday evening to Sunday afternoon but cancels a lot (although he has been better about this recently).

- He and I spoke this past weekend and I told him that I thought he should be spending more time with S7. I also reminded him that I wanted us to be 50/50 if at all possible.

So here is my dilemma. He wants me to take over his lease and he will move to another apartment close by. I realize that moving closer means that he could theoretically see our son more often but there are a few issues that I have doing this. Here goes:

- The apartment costs more and is in a worse neighborhood than I'd like.
- The school in the area isn't as good as the one our son currently attends.
- I don't feel comfortable moving our son away from his friends, school, daycare, scouts etc...
- Moving right now would be difficult since school will be starting soon and I am still recovering financially from bankruptcy.

I really want to do what's best for our kid but I'm not sure what that is. My head is spinning and I don't want to make the wrong decision. At the moment, I'm leaning toward staying where I am and asking him to look for something closer to us.

I'm feeling torn about this so I would appreciate some advice. Thanks.
Old 07-30-2012, 11:20 AM
Rioe's Avatar
Rioe Rioe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,295
Rioe will become famous soon enough

Best interests of the child is to stay put in the familiar location, school, friends, activities, etc. So based on that, the thing to do would be for your ex to move closer. There's really no other good choice.

I'd also be suspicious of him wanting you to take over his lease so he can get a new apartment. If you moving was even in the cards, why wouldn't he stay put and you get a new apartment of your own choice? That's looking like he's trying to weasel out of responsibility for the lease, or make you pay a higher rent than him, etc. Did his grandmother intend to move and have him take over the lease so she doesn't have to pay for it, and he's trying to offload that onto you? Him moving back could be a longer term proposal, when his lease ends, if that's a financial hardship for him.
Old 07-30-2012, 11:47 AM
arabian's Avatar
arabian arabian is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 10,066
arabian will become famous soon enough

to put it simply - he's your ex not your brother. I don't think you have any obligations to help him out with leasing the appt and therefore putting yourself in a financial bind.

Do what is best for your son. Your ex's needs are secondary.
Old 07-30-2012, 12:38 PM
stressedmama stressedmama is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 40
stressedmama is on a distinguished road

Ok, so it seems that my boyfriend was right and I should stay put. I thought I'd ask anyway because I don't want to make the wrong decision.

Now that that is settled, I just need to figure out a way to get them (son and ex) to spend more time together. My ex-husband probably won't move closer anytime soon because his income is very low (lower than mine and I only make 33K).

Anyone have suggestions on a reasonable access schedule for our situation. We live about 15 minutes apart by bus. I plan to take a driving course this year and hopefully have a car by next year so I don't mind taking on the driving when I'm able to.
Closed Thread

best interests, moving, ncp

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Is Moving costs section 7? cashcow4ex Financial Issues 33 03-09-2012 08:43 AM
My Ex filed a Motion to stop us from moving Pharah Divorce & Family Law 15 05-18-2010 05:17 PM
Stopping CP from moving? ForwardFromHere Divorce & Family Law 3 05-14-2010 12:58 PM
moving question MTLMOM Parenting Issues 1 03-05-2007 01:55 AM
Urgent need of HELP - Moving Issues CatvsLion Parenting Issues 4 10-20-2005 10:08 AM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:50 AM.