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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 06-22-2012, 05:38 PM
hondalady hondalady is offline
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Default Over 18 Won't Talk to Her Dad

Daughter is going to college in the fall. I have had daily custody.He is paying CS while she goes to school. The last few months especially, their relationship has been acrimonious at best. He tried to get her to move out of my home and have her rent an apartment or live with him as in his words to her "I don't want to pay that b*tch your mother, Child Support".

She has refused to do either and wants to stay at home with her sister and myself. She has been very angry with him about his attempts to have her move out. They had a huge fall out. He went to his lawyer and I got a letter citing I have obviously poisoned the girl and that amounts to parental alienation. It is quite the opposite. She does not want to see him or speak to him again.

I told her that he is her father and at the very least, see him and continue contact and maybe she can make the terms with him. She is dismayed that I would "be on his side". I am not really on his side. I just think she should have some sort of relationship with her father. I also know if she does not, he will be more brutal on her than ever.

He has been repeat calling her on her phone and texting 5 times a day. He sent me a letter telling me that if she doesn't shape up and speak with him, he will proceed to have Child support withdrawn. He thinks she is 2 years old and I have instructed her to not speak to him. He doesn't think their arguing over her moving out of my house has anything to do with the situation.

I told him that I have talked to her about ongoing relationship with him and he is calling me a liar. Nothing new there!! Whenever the children have disagreed with him, he turns it around to make it me who has instructed them to say or do whatever. It really makes me upset. I know she is 18. She can make up her mind. I have tried. Also if he would just let her alone for a bit instead of running to lawyers as he always does, maybe this would have turned around. He is that touchy.

2-3 weeks of not speaking to him and it is lawyer time. This man gets what he wants and how he wants it. He is the kind of guys who calls the cops all the time if someone is stepping on his precious property. Everything turns into a huge legal fiasco.

He has a lot of money.Dropping a few grand on a lawyer a few times a year is nothing for him.

So, can he cut off CS? She is living at home with me and will be full time Post Secondary? Do I have yet another problem on my hands or he is he blowing smoke up my butt.....again.
Old 06-22-2012, 05:47 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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if you could trust him you could see if he would pay your daughter directly then you charge her rent. I know it may be a far-fetched idea but just putting it out there.
Old 06-22-2012, 06:08 PM
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wretchedotis wretchedotis is offline
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He can, but not legally.
If he does - you take him to court over it.

If/when he does, and you win a judgement about it in court, ensure you get a FRO enforcement Order (assuming you live in Ontario).

The FRO will garnish his pay, and forward the funds to you.

Last edited by wretchedotis; 06-22-2012 at 06:11 PM.
Old 06-23-2012, 12:18 PM
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hadenough hadenough is offline
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Sounds like he is a controlling, power-tripping asshole and repeat calling and texting D18's cell phone should constitute harassment. He can't force her to speak to him. She's an adult. Sure, as WO said, he may stop the CS pymts but FRO (or MEP) will catch up w/him sooner or later, and he will look like the jackass that he IS. Edit; PS. Sounds like he's a professional "smoke blower" but as you say, he's not short on cash, so he can afford to give you a hard time. It's all about power and control. That said, he will still go into arrears if he plays his hand and at least the money is there for FRO to "collect" on your behalf.

Last edited by hadenough; 06-23-2012 at 12:22 PM.
Old 06-23-2012, 12:58 PM
hondalady hondalady is offline
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I am not registered with MEP. I called the family law office and they said since the divorce happened years ago, I could not register now.During the divorce he would call my home multiple times a day. I would hear it ring sometimes for over 100 times and now he is doing it to her. Change the phone number? I did that once and he got his lawyer to instruct me to give him the number for access. I would take it off the hook most days. The minute it got back on the hook, he was calling. He had his girlfriends so I do not know why he needed to harass me.There is no answer to this guy. I asked my lawyer for a restraining order and he just said that in his opinion that it would only make things worse. Answer the phone and let kids speak to him one time per day.It is so heartbreaking.She is 18 but she also fears that he will get really angry if she never answers. He is scaring her. He is such a POS. what a way to build a relationship with your kids???!!??!

He is a bully and a rich bully at that! Money to be able to get a lawyer for any little thing..uggg..!!!
Old 06-23-2012, 01:25 PM
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His lawyer can't instruct you to do anything.

I'm not sure what province you are in, or what the legislation is there, but I can't imagine that you cannot enforce the support order if he ceases to pay.
Old 06-23-2012, 02:23 PM
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arabian arabian is offline
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You refer to MEP so I assume you live in Alberta. You might have to get a lawyer to go to court and modify your divorce judgment to include the paragraph about MEP enforcement as MEP will not collect on your behalf unless the paragraph is in the order. Shouldn't be too difficult.

My ex has his girlfriend hunt down and follow our 31 yr old son so he can keep track of where he lives. My son never calls his father. Nothing you can do about this. I would encourage your daughter to change her cell phone number and get on with her school life. You can get call-block on your home phone and utilize call display and simply do not answer his calls. Once you retain a lawyer have him send a letter to your ex's lawyer telling him to cease and desist or you will go for Peace Bond (kinda like a restraining order).

Good luck
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