Ottawa Divorce .com Forums

User CP

New posts


  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Financial Issues

Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

Thread Tools
Old 06-01-2012, 02:12 PM
billm's Avatar
billm billm is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,431
billm is on a distinguished road
Default Consensus on how to handle post secondary

I'd like opinions on post secondary expense and CS.

Let's assume that post secondary is paid 2/3 by parents (all costs including room and board), and that 2/3 is split according to income.

What's the deal with paying CS and paying for post secondary when the child is away from home?

Is it acceptable that CS be reduced during that time? Is this supported by the courts?

What if the child does not return home for the summer? That would mean they would be away for almost 2 years.

I want to review that section of my SA before I sign it - I have 3 kids and they live equally with their parents (I pay offset CS). I expect they'll all go to university and not live at home during that time.

It seems odd to pay full (offset) CS for a child that does not live at home full time.

I have seen some talk here about CS going to the child directly, reducing CS etc.

Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2012, 03:35 PM
arabian's Avatar
arabian arabian is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 10,066
arabian will become famous soon enough

My two cents worth is that I think kids should be encouraged to get part-time jobs and contribute to their education at some point. Even if they go to summer-school at University they have plenty of time to work.
Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2012, 03:52 PM
MrToronto's Avatar
MrToronto MrToronto is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,338
MrToronto is on a distinguished road

area is as confusing as most family law law is clear when a kid goes to school and living away the costs are shared and child support resumes when the kid comes back in the summer for may to august (lots of fighting here because the kid may not go back but the other ex says the kid does),,,,,if the kid stays entirely at home's clear if there is no agreement in place it will be child support,, plus addons so be careful here.....this may no be writtin in stone because every situation is different ..the kid may have resp's...high income from jobs...or osap loans....grants bursaries scholarships...list is endless.........the closer a kid is to being a 8 yr old (no job going to school and totally dependent) the more likely cs plus addons will happen,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,don't forget there are significant tax write-offs for school that has to be factored in about who claims it.........fighting also starts about non disclosure...pretty hard for all 3 parties to keep eveyone informed about budgets,income,grants if they share an apartment ............this isn't like bonafide childsupport ur in an area when it comes to post secondary school it is case by case and fact driven....judges have huge leeway on what they decide...canlaw is all over the place.........and stay on top of grants/bursaies....sometimes entire tuition costs can be paid out of a simple letter to some to have clauses for dislosure and if not done by say august then payment will be delayed or none....and yes money goes to kid if living away at school.....don't get locked into a fixed amount keep it loose the amount required may be more or less each year......and a termination date for support after school is finished is also a nice thing
Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2012, 04:19 PM
MrToronto's Avatar
MrToronto MrToronto is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,338
MrToronto is on a distinguished road

ohh and try to learn from my mistake,,,,,once a kid turns 18 the information doors slams shut from schools e.t.c.............make sure u get access to the school website....ask for the childs login and password so u can check out info..attendance..addresses..(loving parents get that easy enough) 1st year kids tend to drop out or shift courses so u need that to stay on top of things.....also any other websites that go hand in hand with the logon info for u can the yearly applications.....remember also (it's in school website) at anytime a child doesn't feel like someone looking at his info he can change the don't be left in the dark if that happens.........if u can get this up front in an agreement the it won't seem like a punishment later when you demand it in about the spelling Regards
Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2012, 04:32 PM
billiechic billiechic is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Vaughan
Posts: 2,369
billiechic is on a distinguished road

Originally Posted by MrToronto View Post
make sure u get access to the school website....ask for the childs login and password so u can check out info..attendance..addresses
If I was a child and my parents wanted access to that I would be pretty pissed off. By the time a child is 18 they need to start making decisions on their own, taking responsibility, and not having a parent clean up after them. I would feel that my parent had no faith in me.

I understand you dont want your "money" wasted, but come on? Don't you trust your kid enough to provide you with the informations themselves? Sure they should be held accountable for attending class, and earning good grades if you forked out the money for them, but that is IMHO just too much. If you can't trust them to act like adults, how are they ever going to become one?

FYI, my thoughts are based on the fact that I (as a kid from separated parents), paid my full tuition for my BSC, and just finished my Masters. It was ALL OSAP. I learned on my own that I couldn't throw my money away. I was also accountable ONLY to myself, and my parents had no say because there was no investment (money-wise) from them. BUT, I did show them my marks! They trusted me, and I lived up to it becasue they did.

Nevermind that is a violation of the privacy to give a parent a kids password or access to their private information after they turn 18....
Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2012, 04:45 PM
MiViLaLoco's Avatar
MiViLaLoco MiViLaLoco is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 117
MiViLaLoco is on a distinguished road

As both my ex and I plan on staying in the same city, and that we hope that our son decides to go to the university in our city (or tradeschool), we have it written into our agreement that CS stops once he has completed Grade 12.

Our logic on this was quite simple. At that point our son will clearly be able to decide where he wants to live. If he choses to live with neither of us then we know we will do our best to help support him to our own abilities.

We also have clearly stated that our (parents 2/3) responsibility for post-secondary ends after 4 years or 1 compeleted degree, whichever comes first. We had our child later in life and didn't want to still be paying for university when we are 70 (sigh). We have set aside more than enough into an RESP for our son (he is only just beginning school now) but will continue to contribute monthly till he is in Grade 12 (as per our agreement). Our hope is that he will have enough to finish 4 years of school and to provide part of a down payment on a home.
Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2012, 05:43 PM
mcdreamy's Avatar
mcdreamy mcdreamy is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,420
mcdreamy is on a distinguished road

I've actually been thinking this over in my head the last 6 months.. our 17 yr old is starting Grade 12 in the fall, but she is already planning/talking about her university goals.

I did the separation agreement years ago, and dammit I did a good job - maybe too good of a job. She's covered for education expenses every which way.

But, in reality, I'm not sure I'm going to push that. What I would like to see is a proportionate share of her postsecondary. Given our respective education/careers and salaries, I do anticipate we will each be paying until she completes a 7-8 year optometry program. And although our separation agreement does not call for it, I will expect her to contribute - not a 1/3, but a substantial portion, via scholarships, loans or jobs.

If she is not here in either of our homes, and attends an out-of-town university, I hope we can agree on a proportionate split for the expenses, and then we each hand her $200 a month directly ( I currently and have for the last 15 years collected $400/month CS, well below the Ontario tables). She currently has a part time job at Timmie's, she's aware that I require her to participate in paying for her education.

But I'm not sure she's quite mature enough to handle her own expenses, particularly first year university, so I might suggest he just send $200 to me a month for CS, and I'll manage her personal finances and make sure she gets fed. Or I give him $200 a month, and he manages and makes sure she gets fed.

If she comes home from school during the summer months to me, then I would expect him to return to the full CS. And vice versa, of course, depending on which home she chooses to go to.

Sigh -- that's not much help, is it? I have a year to try to figure this out in a reasonable manner that works for the two of us.
Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2012, 08:56 PM
MrToronto's Avatar
MrToronto MrToronto is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,338
MrToronto is on a distinguished road

I wonder why custodial parents keep asking for child support (and they get it) when an adult kid is home for the summer and supposedly getting a job and suppossedly paying rent to the custodial parent to keep a roof over his/her adult head. I know this one dad that paid the mom C.S when the adult was out of school for the summer the kid got a 15 dollar an hour job...saved his money from living for free bought a car and when it came time for university the dad was on the hook for the car if it's not you..
Reply With Quote
Old 06-02-2012, 12:30 AM
torontonian torontonian is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Check my member name...
Posts: 294
torontonian is on a distinguished road

When we raised the issue with the Judge, she was agreeable that CS would either be cancelled or reduced by 1/2 during the months the kid was away. In our case, kid decided to live independently and we ended up paying all money (CS/S7) directly to the kid (about 2/3 of expenses, pro-rated to parental income).
Reply With Quote
Old 06-03-2012, 08:42 PM
beenthere beenthere is offline
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 68
beenthere is on a distinguished road

Hope you won't mind if I jump into this discussion as I'm in the middle of it myself. My ex thinks I should pay 1/2 of school plus full CS, our last court order just says "share expenses equally as long as all info fully disclosed" etc. - which of course has not happened ( in the past just to get access there was a very long, painful high conflict ordeal leaving my relationship with daughter on rocky ground). Ex sent me very general info about 3 schools & said she would send more info as it came in, so I waited, D got accepted & again Ex promised to send info, next thing I know Ex & D signed up for most expensive residence, they wouldn't let me go to initial info session at university when she was accepted, guess I now know why. I am hoping to vary CS order so I only have to deal with daughter, in past few months we had somewhat reconciled and things were good till post secondary costs came up, turns out ex told her she does not have to contribute a cent so I am now "garbage" according to my daughter... Am I totally out of line? Am I unreasonable to think my kid should contribute to her own education? So my question is how do I prove to the court that it will be best for me to deal with child directly since she is now an "adult". I have lots of proof of ex influencing daughter against me, the never ending conflicting statements she's made and even a report from social worker for the OCL that states all the crap she pulled, will it help? I make 70k/yr, I have funds set aside, I have contributed for extras whenever asked, the ex was working for her hubby but for some reason is now unemployed, she was making about the same as me but her spouse is in the 250k range. Also daughter did the victory lap at HS, only went to school for 1/2 days, I didn't find out till D started talking to me again, she does have a part-time job but she hasn't been working lately at all and doesn't think she should maybe look at getting another job. Neither ex nor I have post secondary education, I had 3 part-time jobs in HS and joined military when I got grade 12 so maybe I'm just not up to speed on what's acceptable these days. I would appreciate a reality check if anyone cares to give one, I'm hoping if D has to deal with me she will learn in time that I'm not the nasty bastard her mother has made me out to be. Any insights/ideas greatly appreciated.
Reply With Quote

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Post Secondary Education Ginger_Mallow Divorce & Family Law 39 12-11-2012 08:18 PM
Post Secondary Money and Relationships SanityforHire Political Issues 3 08-29-2011 07:56 PM
Post Secondary Money and Relationships SanityforHire Parenting Issues 0 08-29-2011 12:31 PM
Post Secondary Support Classic Divorce & Family Law 21 08-08-2009 10:02 PM
Post Secondary Education GGG Divorce & Family Law 2 11-08-2006 12:41 PM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:53 PM.