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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 10-17-2011, 03:03 PM
Scrooged Scrooged is offline
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Default Doesn't seem right


This is a long story, I'll try to make it as "to the point" as possible.

I am male and my ex common law wife of 20 years is seeking support from me. We have no children.

We both started out with nothing and pretty much lived day to day with what we had. We always shared all expenses 50/50. My wife worked as a private house cleaner and had several clients.

I started a new job back in 1993 and worked hard to move ahead in the company and was somewhat succesful. Back in 2000 when I felt we were more financially secure, we decided to buy a house together. I used my RRSP as a downpayment on the house and away we went. However it was still agreed that we would keep sharing expenses 50/50. Of course that was not in writing, but the fact that she signed a mortgage agreement would seem to prove that she was as liable as I for the mortgage. I was making more money at the time so I agreed that I would pay all of the bills like hydro,gas,water,insurance etc...She decided she wanted a phone line and cable so she payed for that.

My wife always had tendencies toward severe verbal and physical outbursts but that became much more pronounced when we moved into our new house. She all of a sudden decided to stop paying her share of the mortgage after only 18 months. She slowly started dropping her house cleaning clients to the point that she only had one or two left.

Our relationship just started to break down and her outbursts became more and more frequent. I was assaulted verbally and physically on numerous occasions throughout the years. I kept on trying to help her and turn things around but the harder I tried the worse things got...She would just stay up late every night and sleep in till noon or 1 oclock every day. After 5 years, we ended up living seperate lives.

Finally in January of 2011, she was removed from the house by the police for domestic abuse against me. It was very hard for me to call the police but I was at the end of my rope.

We agreed to some terms for a legal seperation. I had all the documents drawn up by my lawyer. When she brought the documents to her lawyer, all of a sudden, she wanted alot more. She is now seeking to get half of all "matrimonial" assets and a ridiculous amount of monthly support from me. What I am learning so far is that apparently I should not have let things go on for so long(duh) and that I am at fault for trying to help her. Her lawyer has packaged quite an application which justifies her actions as being caused by medical problems.

This woman made my life unbearable for 10 years and now potentially could affect me permanently. I am not trying to dump her out onto the street with nothing, I made her a very reasonnable offer.

I appreciate you all reading this and look forward to your comments. Don't have to "sugar coat" anything...I am preparring for the worse.

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abuse, common law wife, support

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