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SC's, Motions and Trial's.. Oh My!

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  • Your ex is merely trying to draw you into her sordid world. Recognize it for what it is. I don't know much about facebook but I thought one could control over who can and cannot access your facebook. She has likely left your mother on there knowing things will filter through to you. Don't you just un-friend someone to block someone?

    Why on earth would someone post personal shit on facebook? Weird to me. I can see exchanging photographs of trips, events.

    I rarely click on to facebook unless there is a picture that I've been alerted to of friend's children that I want to see.

    The only time I left a comment on facebook in past 3 or 4 years was when ex's g/f put up a page and went on to extol how wonderful my ex was. I must have accepted his friend request at some time (not realizing it was really his g/f). I posted "happy birthday deadbeat - from your ex" (he hadn't paid me any money for a year). I thought it was hilarious (and of course childish on my part). I'm sure ex's g/f considered suing me but was likely told that if someone states the truth then it is not slander. LOL.

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    • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
      Yes. .I understand. Wasn't a creep though. Showed up as a notification on her FB homepage thing staring background noise in the face during her morning coffee.

      Might be a good time to block ex. However, things like this may be useful down the road for trial stuff. I took a quick peek to see what background was saying and she also joined a "psychosocial assessment" group in QC. Will I bring any of this up? Nope. Sometimes things become useful in the future. Such as finding interesting things on kijiji like WD did.
      If you really want to stay friends with your ex on Facebook, I urge the use of the "unfollow" button. This should be visible on their profile page - there'll be a little box reading "Follow" with a checkmark, click on the box to uncheck it, and their updates will no longer appear in your news feed but you will still be able to visit their page if you choose because you have not de-friended them.

      "Taking a quick peek" at your ex's social media activity is very tempting, but if you indulge a lot it becomes a waste of time and energy, and actually blocks the emotional moving-on process. Part of being divorced is that her life is no longer of interest to you - whether or not she has joined some support group, bought new shoes, gone on vacation, etc - all the time you spend thinking about her new life is time that you're not spending building yours.

      Family and friends may not get this - they will want to tell you what your ex is up to because they want to share their horror at how awful she is and can you believe what she's saying, and oh my God, what a terrible person. This is fine for them, because they don't have to work to disentangle themselves and can afford to indulge in online drama, but it isn't good for you.

      Cases like WD, where he was able to confirm that his ex was planning to leave the country because of a kijiji ad, are the exception. 99% of what you read on Facebook is stuff you really don't need to know.

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      • Originally posted by stripes View Post
        Cases like WD, where he was able to confirm that his ex was planning to leave the country because of a kijiji ad, are the exception. 99% of what you read on Facebook is stuff you really don't need to know.
        As always I value your input Stripes. I feel that setting up services and joining groups in QC (psychosocial evaluations, victims counselor's, etc) is actually worth reading .. seeing how her plan from the beginning was to get to QC with D3 leaving me in the dust. I've moved on .. more than you could ever imagine. Please remember my ex is looking to erase me from D3's life and move provinces. Trial is coming up. Like I said .. just keeping it in the back of my mind for now and have a screen shot to go in my archives. Thats it.

        I've got your stance on the matter though. Thank you.

        Backgroundnoise has since blocked her so that there's no random "chance" notifications she has to read on her FB. Indulging in drama, creeping, etc is a warped way of viewing it. Not what happened at all. So that stuff should stop being repeated over and over.
        Last edited by LovingFather32; 02-22-2015, 04:45 PM.

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        • Don't put anything in FB if you want it to remain private.

          The owner of the account has the responsibility on what to post there and to whom to share it with.

          TOO BAD for Goldilocks

          Breaking into peoples stuff and possibly faking a FB account to solicit info are different items......but freely shared posted stuff is fair game.

          I imagine private investigator's use "legal" tools like checking social media for info all the time...it's a goldmine

          OP has since the EM denied flight risk......LF32 has very good reason to think different but has very little to prove it.

          I think the Motion Judge felt it wise to do a mobility thing. Anyways I'm fairly certain EX goes to QC regularly if not all the time.

          It's why she was given a car.

          Goldilocks does stuff she knows the answer for already, (NO) knowing the detail won't be checked out

          LF32 knows about playgroups ...but has never seen D3 at them

          LF32 knows about a kid shrink....but never met the shrink

          of course he checks that they exist..... but that's as far as he can get.

          Goldilocks is tossing things around.....to get a reaction....depending on the reaction it'll be turned into.....I felt threatened and had to run for my or D3's safety.

          HIDE UNDER THE BED is the best course.....Goldilocks wants some kind of victim thing to be unaccountable for taking off.

          I'll give you an example of a game playing victim

          YOU get a note, dumping on you about a kid therapist along with cutting of communication (your supposed to bounce of the walls btw)....and the next day you get a sweet as pie victim (your left scratching your head)

          Goldilocks is playing you.....ever HOPEFUL she'll find the right trick to throw you off your game and she can leave town.

          The torment your suffering is what victims groups call ..exposing you for what you really are.....LMAO (driving you KRAZY is class 101)

          Here's another factoid.....Not one group or agency for victims has EVER approached you on resolving the parties problems...nor ever will
          - not LAO
          -not OCL
          -not ON WORKS
          -not inaction house
          -cops aren't going after Goldilocks cautioning her on wasting there time
          -CAS washes their hands of it ....why don't they callout OCL and Goldilocks for what they are and caution them

          keep your stick on the ice
          Last edited by MrToronto; 02-22-2015, 10:52 PM.

          Comment


          • Here's another factoid.....Not one group or agency for victims has EVER approached you on resolving the parties problems...nor ever will
            - not LAO
            -not OCL
            -not ON WORKS
            -not inaction house
            -cops aren't going after Goldilocks cautioning her on wasting there time
            -CAS washes their hands of it ....why don't they callout OCL and Goldilocks for what they are and caution them
            I've wondered the same thing many times.

            Mr. T all I do is hide under my bed. Its tough to have witnesses around ALWAYS. What kind of life is that. The second I come alone you never know .. she falls to the ground holding her eye and a crowd piles around us. People who know me know I wouldnt hurt a fly. She not stopping because there ARE no consequences to false allegations. Good for her .. she instigated arguments and edited snippets that judges see right through.

            Its time to pull up her socks. Get a job Let D3 go to school and flourish. Welfare isn't around for capable, educated individuals such as herself. The "psychosocial Assessment" group she joined had an article "How to be declared incapacitated and unable to work". It described what legal steps to take.

            Get a clue. D3 loves both of us. We both love D3. We shouldnt be fighting in court just because you get everything free and you want to stay at home and get more money. It's disgusting.

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            • Ex entered our vehicle again.

              I was at work. My g/f said she asked if she could to say goodbye to D3 again. D3 didn't ask her to, was not upset and the transition was perfectly fine. My g/f said she wasn't about to say "no" to her. Wants no drama.

              I'm not bringing it up in the comm. book or saying anything about it as I understand she may simply be seeking a reaction. Im sure she's also trying to get D3 to cry on her recordings. Didn't happen.

              What can I do about this boundary thing? She wont meet anywhere else (including her home). I'm very uncomfortable with her entering our vehicle for her 5th good bye to D3.

              Comment


              • Include changes to your exchanges in your next motion.

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                • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                  Ex entered our vehicle again.

                  I was at work. My g/f said she asked if she could to say goodbye to D3 again. D3 didn't ask her to, was not upset and the transition was perfectly fine. My g/f said she wasn't about to say "no" to her. Wants no drama.

                  I'm not bringing it up in the comm. book or saying anything about it as I understand she may simply be seeking a reaction. Im sure she's also trying to get D3 to cry on her recordings. Didn't happen.

                  What can I do about this boundary thing? She wont meet anywhere else (including her home). I'm very uncomfortable with her entering our vehicle for her 5th good bye to D3.
                  maybe you should do the pick up instead of putting your gf in the middle of it. She didn't want drama so she didn't enforce the boundaries. If your are uncomfortable with it then do like others suggested before, get their earlier then walk over to your exs car so she doesn't come over to your car.

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                  • G/f's part of support system. I didn't put her in middle. She volunteered. We're always the earlier ones. We do go half way (away from our car). Makes no difference. Ex still comes on our vehicle.

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                    • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                      G/f's part of support system. I didn't put her in middle. She volunteered. We're always the earlier ones. We do go half way (away from our car). Makes no difference. Ex still comes on our vehicle.
                      then you gf needs to put her foot down. You say "we" so do you go with the gf? If she doesn't want drama then she is involved with the wrong man as your life will be drama filled with a woman like your ex.

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                      • I say "we" because it happens with me too. I don't cause a big scene when it happens.
                        No, she's not with the wrong guy. She's divorced also. There's possibility of drama all throughout life in many different situations. It's whether or not to engage. We both choose not to bite the bait. No scenes in front of D3 is big for me right now... (or ever). We know that's ex's goal. We choose not to give her that. However, I would like a judge to ask her not to enter our vehicle .. then our foot will be put down easily.
                        Last edited by LovingFather32; 02-25-2015, 10:11 PM.

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                        • Originally posted by Straittohell View Post
                          Include changes to your exchanges in your next motion.
                          Totally.

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                          • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                            Ex entered our vehicle again.

                            I was at work. My g/f said she asked if she could to say goodbye to D3 again. D3 didn't ask her to, was not upset and the transition was perfectly fine. My g/f said she wasn't about to say "no" to her. Wants no drama.

                            I'm not bringing it up in the comm. book or saying anything about it as I understand she may simply be seeking a reaction. Im sure she's also trying to get D3 to cry on her recordings. Didn't happen.

                            What can I do about this boundary thing? She wont meet anywhere else (including her home). I'm very uncomfortable with her entering our vehicle for her 5th good bye to D3.
                            Sounds like the transition went perfectly. Not sure why this is a problem.

                            As long as D3 wasn't upset and there was no scene, what is the complaint? Sure five goodbyes is excessive but ex is still getting used to having D3 leave to go with you. She may back off in a bit of time.

                            I actually think it is going extremely well with your ex considering your new g/f is picking the child up.

                            My kids hop into their Dad's SUV at pick up. He gets in the driver's seat. I ensure they have all their stuff and kiss them each goodbye inside the car. Shut the doors and done. No one is uncomfortable.

                            If this is so important to you, have you considered simply picking D3 up yourself an hour or two later? Then, as SOTS commented, you can enforce the boundaries with your ex. I agree that this is not a task for your g/f to have to do herself.

                            EDITED TO ADD: You say your ex "asked" to say goodbye to D3 again. It would have been the perfect time to set boundaries. Ex didn't force herself in the car or impose. She asked. G/f said okay. Don't see the problem at all.
                            Last edited by SadAndTired; 02-26-2015, 12:55 AM.

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                            • Hmm. I know your GF is part of your support but I personally think its too much having her pick up d3 at this time.

                              I think its too soon. Once you have an agreement set out then you can move to include anyone to help pick up and drop off - Your Mom, your GF. But until things are settled I would think it best not to have GF in the middle. Why rattle your ex any more than necessary.

                              Its just my own opinion. I know my daughter did not agree to meeting her ex's current GF in exchanges. She feels it should just be Mom and Dad at the exchange. Dad has always kept GF away at exchanges. Mom does not bring her BF either.

                              Not criticising your action. Just expressing my point of view.

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                              • Beach.

                                Unfortunately I cant pick and choose among a bunch of ppl who picks up D3. I don't have that luxury.

                                G/f is an integral part of my support system. Ex can bring ppl on her side that have attacked me in affidavits with lies .. I don't say a word. My g/f and ex actually get a long which I feel is great. In addition, I ALWAYS need a witness and I cant always find one.
                                Anyways, seems to have turned in to how ex's feelings might be hurt again .. forget I mentioned anything. lol

                                Comment

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