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  • #31
    Until you have a signed agreement. DO NOT MOVE OUT!!

    Don't even talk about renting your own place till you have this in place.

    All communication via e-mail only!!! Keep a recorder on you at all times.

    Set yourexpectations on the house with deadlines...you have till this date to provide documentation on pre-approval.

    Now is the time to do this right, your future and your children's future depend on it.

    So you have to live in the same house as her for a few months...she can't deal with it then she should get her a$$ moving on the house and the agreement.

    If she is serious about it, she can back it up with actions....verbal promises are worthless.

    What is going to change in 3 months, that will make a diffrence in taking over the house? NOTHING.

    Who is paying for the bills now? Are you both still living in the house?

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    • #32
      Originally posted by abu View Post
      that makes sense

      what if she does not qualifies or want to sell it ... how can I sell it with out her ...
      As HammerDad mentioned you would have to file a motion for the house to be sold.

      To get her moving I would also go to the bank for your own sake and get a pre-approval certificate. If she's unwilling to buy you out or sell then you buy her out and she can rent a place.

      As mentioned my ex did not qualify for our mortgage and the second she found that out she did NOTHING....wouldn't respond to my lawyer or offers to settle. That was May 2012. I waited two months for her to do something and then I realized nothing was going to happen. I filed the court application in September...Case Conference November....Motion May. In the motion I had asked that the house be listed for sale. If she refuses to do anything you could have a long road ahead of you.

      So do you have both your NFP's complete. You should have three of them for each scenario listed above. Then make her 3 offers to settle based on a "without prejudice" NFP. The first will be you keeping the house. The second will be her keeping the house and the third is the sale of the house.

      Along with the offers which should not expire. Explain that you are willing to work with her in the best interest of the children but you expect proof of her ability to purchase the house within 3 weeks or you will begin the work in filing a court application to have the house sold ASAP.

      Again without knowing the whole situation there may be zero motivation for her to do anything just like in my case.

      DO NOT MOVE OUT until this is 100% signed sealed and delivered.

      Comment


      • #33
        Until you have a signed agreement. DO NOT MOVE OUT!!



        True dat....sleep in the garage if you have to, yes you heard me right!

        All communication via e-mail only!!! Keep a recorder on you at all times.
        Goes without saying....and make sure it's a functional recorder. There have been people on here in the past that forgot to have it on / on them when an altercation happened

        Now is the time to do this right, your future and your children's future depend on it.
        Well said Sista!

        So you have to live in the same house as her for a few months...she can't deal with it then she should get her a$$ moving on the house and the agreement.
        Wow....you are a "good mom" indeed. I'll pay big money to watch you deliver this to the OP's other party

        You know there is a chance she might accuse the OP of being "controlling"?

        Comment


        • #34
          No...its called setting expectations.

          Comment


          • #35
            You and I know that, but delusional HCPs always find it easy to use triggers words like this to justify their actions.

            I have always wondered how these people function in a work place, when HR or their boss tells them to do something / telling them about their performance....do they pull the abuse / controlling card also?

            But come to think of it, some don't have a job even when their kids are at a school age, so that sort of explains why they are not working

            They want the good life, but they don't want to personally work or pay for it.
            Last edited by FWB; 01-16-2014, 12:44 PM.

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            • #36
              Here is some great information for you.

              1. “All joint tenants, tenants in common, and coparceners, all doweresses, and parties entitled to dower, tenants by the curtesy, mortgagees or other creditors having liens on, and all parties interested in, to or out of, any land in Ontario, may be compelled to make or suffer partition or sale of the land, or any part thereof, whether the estate is legal and equitable or equitable only.”

              Partition Act, R.S.O. 1990, c. P.4, s.2.

              2. A joint tenant has a prima facie right to the sale of the Home.

              Pagnanelli v. Pagnanelli [2002] O.J. No. 2705 (Ont. S.C.J.)

              3. The loss of a right to buy-out the other spouse’s interest in the home, is not a basis upon which to deny a sale. “ ‘An application by a joint tenant for sale should only be refused if the application is vexatious or malicious’ ”.

              Pagnanelli v. Pagnanelli [2002] O.J. No. 2705 (Ont. S.C.J.)

              4. In Cox v. Adibfar, Benot J. stated with respect to an interim motion for the sale of the Matrimonial Home: “The matrimonial home is an issue that has sabotaged the orderly resolution of the case. It has less to do with the best interests of the children than it has to do with the tactical manoeuvres in the litigation. All of the facts, taken together, demonstrate that the house has obtained a false significance. It is viewed as a prize that one will win and the other will loose. The ages of the children, their daily routine and their lifestyle do not require that this house be preserved. The sale of the house, in this particular case, is an inevitable result of the separation. The sale, which has been delayed for over a year, should proceed.”

              Cox v. Adibfar, [2000] O.J. No. 2238 (Ont. S.C.J.)

              Comment


              • #37
                thanks everybody ! ... for the help and support


                the papers are signed, I moved out, and kids are doing ok with the 2 homes so far ... its a beginning and I don't expect for everything to be smooth and without problems (most likely a bag full of problems waiting ahead), but I hope for the best ...

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by abu View Post
                  thanks everybody ! ... for the help and support


                  the papers are signed, I moved out, and kids are doing ok with the 2 homes so far ... its a beginning and I don't expect for everything to be smooth and without problems (most likely a bag full of problems waiting ahead), but I hope for the best ...
                  That's great to hear.

                  What access schedule did you finally agree on.

                  Comment

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