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Question: My sisters Ex is in arrears about $16000 and the oldest turns 21 very soon.

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  • Question: My sisters Ex is in arrears about $16000 and the oldest turns 21 very soon.

    My sisters Ex is arrears $16000 for child support and the oldest turns 21 soon.
    The big problem is he works for his Father's company and they are a very wealthy family that have hired an expensive lawyer to continually harass my sister for many years since the divorce. The harassment is intensifying I believe because the oldest is about to turn 21 but I am not sure. Her ex is trying all kinds of tricks to get her to sign a motion of change agreement.
    My question is if there is some way to put this to an end where this lawyer and and her ex can no longer harass my sister and she can just let Fro deal with it.

    edit: He is also asking for the Child support arrears to be no longer owed and for my sister to pay for the legal costs of this expensive lawyer gathered through the years.
    Any helpful advice would be much appreciated so we can put all of this behind us.
    Last edited by DaveJ; 09-09-2017, 06:45 PM. Reason: added more facts

  • #2
    Has she filed the original order with fro?

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    • #3
      Yes to her filing the original order with Fro.

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      • #4
        Tell your sister to change her email, her phone number and unlist it. Then have all her mail go to a mail po box and go once a week and " return to sender" any communication received.

        Anything to avoid ex. Put him on ignore. Have absolutely no conversations with him. Let FRO deal with the arrears. That's there job and they have lawyers.

        If ex comes to her home then Get a restraining order to prevent him.

        In other words stop being a push over and tell him to pay up and " }%}^~!~£ off"

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        • #5
          Would it be possible to ask Fro to send one of their lawyers to deal with her ex and his lawyer so she no longer has to?

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          • #6
            Her ex lawyer keeps filing motions but none of them appear before a judge can she ignore those too?

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            • #7
              If he files motions she needs to respond otherwise she could have an order made in her absence.

              What are his motions for? To stopchild support? Then she needs to respond that the child is still a child of the marriage and in school. To cancel the arrears, she needs to respond that he has failed to pay the child support ordered to him and she can request full disclosure of money.

              If he is working and the company he works for isnt sending the garnished amount to FRO then she needs to contact FRO and speak to a manager or supervisor and have it investigated why they are not garnishing his wages. She could also contact the ombudsperson and complain that FRO is failing to garnish his wages.

              Your sister needs to do a little work otherwise hes going to get away with it. You cant just file with FRO and expect they will do all the leg work. If she isnt getting her money and hes working then she needs to start asking FRO why!

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              • #8
                Rockscan She has her lawyer meeting with the exes lawyer to meet about the motions but I don't believe there is a judge involved and they are telling her not to be present so I wonder if they are making decisions outside of the legal system and my sister needs to be aware of this?

                Also my sister is asking whether there are actual lawyers on this forum reading this or what are their qualifications?
                Last edited by DaveJ; 09-10-2017, 12:52 PM. Reason: more edits

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                • #9
                  People on here do not propose to be lawyers. Many people do, however, have experience and are willing to share their experiences and offer insight/solutions.

                  Many people on here have self-represented in family court. That is no small feat.

                  It is incumbent upon your sister for her to bone-up on research so when she meets with a lawyer she can understand basic concepts. People on here can direct her where to get additional information.

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                  • #10
                    You're not really making much sense.

                    She has filed her originally order with FRO to recover money but then you say he is in arrears of $16,000. Has FRO been collecting or are they saying they can't find him or his company is not recovering money? If this is the case she needs to get on FRO to recover the money.

                    You say they keep sending her things to harass her. Are they sending letters or motions they have filed? There is a BIG difference. If they are letters she can either ignore or respond that until his arrears are paid in full you will not be negotiating anything.

                    Are they seeking mediation and that is what she is sitting down to do? She doesnt have to agree to mediation. She can simply say she is not negotiating anything until he pays his arrears in full.

                    Is the child still in school? Has the ex paid any school expenses? Does he still owe money?

                    Your sister needs to get a lawyer to help her through this. You cant come here saying the ex owes 16000 and keeps having meetings with lawyers. That doesnt make sense and people on here cant recommend info. Is she or is she not involved in a court proceeding? Does she have a court date? Has she appeared before a judge? What are the forms that have been filed? Has she requested financial disclosure?

                    All of this information is relevant. The ex SHOULD have been providing his financial disclosure each year to update child support. The ex SHOULD have been provided with expenses for school with full details on expenses. FRO SHOULD be collecting money from his paycheque and taxes.

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                    • #11
                      Rockscan I will try to get those answers I know the child that is almost 21 is still in school. I am hearing it is motions being filed but it sounds like they are being handled through mediation with her lawyer and his but there is no court date before a judge that I know of.

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                      • #12
                        I did mention motion to change however should I clarify the ex is trying to get full custody now to have my sister pay him child support and have the arrears forgiven. He has been attempting to turn the youngest two boys against her and has done this before where he tells her he will keep the boys until she signs the papers and he tells the boys to go along with this. But I did not want to mention this as I don't know if there's much can be done about children chosing sides etc. The police and her lawyer already said they cant do anything about that but that is part of why this does not make sense. But is there something about a child that is still in school turning 21 that could be the cause for all of this intensifying?

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                        • #13
                          If a child is still in school, in their first degree and under 25, he will be obligated to pay child support (if kid is at home) and a portion of the school expenses.

                          Even if the kids went to live with him tomorrow, he still has to pay the child support he owes. If the kids did go live with him, she would say she will take her cs out of the arrears he owes her. For instance, lets say she owes him $100 a month in cs. She could go 16 months paying nothing.

                          How old are the other kids? Has she thought about counseling to help them understand what is going on?

                          Make sure she gets everything from him in writing. Dont take calls, dont talk at the door, nothing. Tell him he can send her a text or an email and then she keeps everything. She can use that as documentary evidence that he is bullying her into an agreement.

                          There are so many issues and I hope she has a good lawyer. Her ex cant have arrears expunged if he has been working and able to pay. She definitely needs to find out why FRO is not collecting that money!!

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                          • #14
                            Thanks for the info Rockscan the other kids are in their teenage years and in high school. If my sister asked Fro to collect would this all end because they are trying to bring her to court for early october however I believe they will bring her in to mediation to intimidate her again instead of court on the court date. What happens if she asks for Fro to collect?

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by DaveJ View Post
                              Thanks for the info Rockscan the other kids are in their teenage years and in high school. If my sister asked Fro to collect would this all end because they are trying to bring her to court for early october however I believe they will bring her in to mediation to intimidate her again instead of court on the court date. What happens if she asks for Fro to collect?
                              Sadly, FRO is only a first step. Probably what will happen is that when they approach her ex to set up payments, he'll tell them he's trying to end the payments and has an upcoming court date. FRO may decide to wait to see what happens before trying to collect anything. She may have to convince them that the children are still underage or still in school, or at the very least, to collect partial payments to address his CS obligation for only the underage children and the arrears.

                              Going with FRO wouldn't end her ex taking her to court though, and will likely give him another demand to add to his list. The way to end that is to either negotiate with him, or go to court like he's asking, and make a successful argument for why what he wants is wrong. But in the meantime, hopefully FRO would get some money out of him.

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