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  • Recording The EX and her family

    Hello All,

    Just a bit of a primer here regarding my situation.

    I have had an on again off again relationship with my daughters mother. In the spring of 2010 I served her with papers seeking temporary custody as she was very sick and her parents were caring for our daughter and shutting me out of most decisions. We started reconciling in the middle of the summer 2010 and I postponed the court action for a number of times until I felt that I could withdraw the application in the spring of 2011. We again split up at the beginning of summer 2011 and she served me paperwork around the middle of August going for sole custody of our 2 year old daughter. I am self representing as I am unable to afford a lawyer and due to my self employment have not been successful in obtaining legal aid.

    Now the recording issue.

    I started recording her last year when we were attempting to reconcile as I had served her for temporary custody and when she filed her answer she accused me of numerous things that were false and baseless. I never told her about these recordings even while things were going well for a while and ultimately I was forced to "let the cat out of the bag" as she again accused me of misconduct at a medical appointment that we were attending for our daughter. I received a letter from her lawyer today advising me to stop recording or all interaction will strictly be by written communication (which I prefer.) and subsequently got an email from my ex ordering me to stop recording and saying I never had permission to record in the first place.

    1. Am I required to stop recording?
    2. If I don't stop am I required to disclose?
    3. Where can I find the laws for this? I am in Ontario and from what I understand it is one party consent.

    I really wish things would be better between us for the sake of our daughter but I believe my ex has SERIOUS mental health issues and I am working on exploring those throughout the court process.

  • #2
    1 - No, as long as you are one of the parties involved in the conversation you are legally able to record it, whether on the phone or in person.

    2 - No you do not have to disclose

    3 - It's part of the Personal Information Protection and Electronic Documents Act (PIPEDA)

    Comment


    • #3
      take a look here. I think it will answer if not all but at least some of your questions
      http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...114/#post15015

      Comment


      • #4
        Obviously she is afraid that now her accusations will come across as pure fabrication and not support her position. I find it funny how these people say shit about someone that is not ture, then get pissy when you have proof that she is a liar...then try and make you look like the bad guy...Keep recording...and if she has done or said nothing wrong then she should have no worries what is on the tapes...hope you nail her ass to the wall with them.

        As has already been pointed out you're doing nothing illegal. It might be hard to get a judge to listen to them. Will help protect you if these is anything of a serious nature like you were abusive on a certain date and time. Good luck.

        Comment


        • #5
          What would be the benefit of recording the conversations if the judge likely won't listen to them? If the recordings can't be submitted as evidence in court, then I see little value in making them.

          If the process is legal, then why wouldn't a judge listen to them? And why would her lawyer direct him to stop?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Teenwolf View Post
            What would be the benefit of recording the conversations if the judge likely won't listen to them? If the recordings can't be submitted as evidence in court, then I see little value in making them.

            If the process is legal, then why wouldn't a judge listen to them? And why would her lawyer direct him to stop?
            of course her lawyer would tell him to stop, he is looking after his client. As for the judge in order to be fair he would have to listen to all the recording. No judge wants to do that and waste valuable court time. I know you are probably thinking that the person could just play little snippets of the relevant facts but then things could be taken out of context and the judge knows this. The person recording could wind the other person up by saying i am going to take the kids and you will never see them again, switch on the recorder and the other person says something that sounds bad when you do not hear what was said to them first.Too many gray areas for the judges to put too much weight on recordings.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Teenwolf View Post
              What would be the benefit of recording the conversations if the judge likely won't listen to them? If the recordings can't be submitted as evidence in court, then I see little value in making them.

              If the process is legal, then why wouldn't a judge listen to them? And why would her lawyer direct him to stop?
              The most common reason to record conversations is to prevent the STBX from accusing one of domestic violence and having them removed from the house and having to claw their way up to getting any sort of parenting time.

              The recorder is useless as a sword to claim who is the better parent. But it is a great shield against false accusations.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Teenwolf View Post
                What would be the benefit of recording the conversations if the judge likely won't listen to them? If the recordings can't be submitted as evidence in court, then I see little value in making them.
                keep in mind that yo may be charged with some abuse like stuff base on some BS talk from your Ex and that will be not family court anymore - that is whole different game and in thous parts of justice system lying to police and in court can actually have a consequences if you will go after it.

                If the process is legal, then why wouldn't a judge listen to them? And why would her lawyer direct him to stop?
                there is a lot of challenges come with listen to recording in court room. You do not see faces you can not see a lot actually.

                It all about balance. About answering a question is it worse it to go through all thous recording? In most cases I would assume lawyer will not push crap when they know there is recording and with some effort it can be certified and be proven authentic and than they will look really dumb by wasted court time and their client credibility crashed.

                Do not be lazy. I know it annoying and not easy to leave with voice recorder. But believe me - you better suck it up or you may regret it (that you do not have recordings) BIG BIG time. It better have it all and not use it than need it and do not have it. It also a lot of work to keep it organized and accessible. One year of recording very easy become 100th files and without proper approach you will be lost in it very fast.

                another positive aspect is if your other party knows you are recording they unlikely to unload bunch of crap what is also good )

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hello All,

                  Thanks you very much for your responses. As for teenwolf I began recording things about a year an a half ago due to accusations my ex made against me in her court papers which were false and baseless and as a result started recording to protect myself against any potential malicious accusations as I strongly believe she has extreme mental health issues and will go to any extreme she can.

                  I am still very early in the court process and don't know where things will take me but I am certainly not looking forward to them. I just want to be able to take care of my daughter and don't care about the ex or her family anymore.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Your title suggests Recording your ex and her family. While you are to record your ex if she is talking to you...you are not allowed to record your ex if she is talking to members of her family or anyone else for that matter.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Lorac View Post
                      Your title suggests Recording your ex and her family. While you are to record your ex if she is talking to you...you are not allowed to record your ex if she is talking to members of her family or anyone else for that matter.
                      Unless you are party to the conversation...

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Lorac View Post
                        Your title suggests Recording your ex and her family. While you are to record your ex if she is talking to you...you are not allowed to record your ex if she is talking to members of her family or anyone else for that matter.
                        That is understood Lorac, in Canada it is 1 party consent so as long as 1 party in the conversation knows about it then it can be recorded. If I was only recording them without me being party to the conversation that would be considered wiretapping and is illegal.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I totally know that one party has to consent. I was inferring that two people cannot be tapped without their knowledge. I assume that you don't normally have conversations with both your wife and her/family/friends for a tete a tete threesome.

                          Wiretapping on the other hand is the use of technological means to intercept (listen in on) private telephone conversations. Such an interception of private communications by agents of the state without prior judicial authorization constitutes an unreasonable search and seizure that violates s.8 of the Charter, even if it is ----consensual. Applying for a wiretap authorization is covered under s. 185 of the Criminal Code and is considerable more stringent than applying for many other kinds of warrants. Wiretaps may only be granted by a judge of a Superior Court of criminal jurisdiction.

                          What you wrote regarding the above post would not be wiretapping.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Geez I would imagine you know why your relationship didn't work.. How could you honestly say you attempted to reconcile when you played such games.. I feel for the children involved in this, Stemmy you put your own selfishness before them. I feel really bad for the kids and your ex, I hope she didnt put a true investement into this relationship as you had it doomed from the start! BTW I had someone taping me once and I knew they were, so never think she didn't know.

                            Comment

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