Denial Of Access, Abuse and Past Conduct

[LovingFather32]

Again this thread has been thrown off course from other posters not sticking to the topic.

It really is unbelievable.

[LovingFather32]

Berner if you may please direct me to where I've attacked you it would be greatly appreciated

Explaining yourself is markedly different from attacking.

[mcdreamy]

Your advising posters (whom may or may not be in an abusive situation according to your imposed standards), to document abuse, call police, call CAS, etc. in advance and in preparation of a custody battle is some of the worst advice I’ve ever seen being given on this site and could very well ignite an already incendiary situation. This is not legal advice or legal discussion under anyone’s definition.

I would hope that we can be of assistance here to actual victims of abuse as well as expose those that abuse the system. Or perhaps not expose .. but at least warn of the ramifications or consequences associated.

I have a feeling even if they're resistant online they may log off and provide access based on their readings. And if there truly hasn't been any abuse, the best interests to the child has been served. We've changed somebody's mind.

No, just no. There are helplines and websites to assist people who feel they may be in an abusive situation, and OCL and CAS serve a purpose post separation if two parents are unable to agree on access.

Posters here on our forum aren’t in a similar position of OCL/CAS and don’t have access to the facts in order to distinguish -ergo should not be making inflammatory, accusatory statements towards others based on their own perceptions of the limited facts offered. Certainly not in a position to assist the abused or deter those whom you deem might be.


===

The point of this thread was to remind litigant's that upon examining "past conduct", the judge will want to know why somebody was denied access. Why do they require supervision? Talking won't do. Including your friends and family's opinion won't do An argument wont do. A text message with some mean stuff won't do. Sometimes, as in my case, an OCL report won't even do.

And of course, on the other hand in some scenarios the above will do - OCL and CAS professionals do determine that abuse or improper parenting was taking place (sans police reports, sans restraining orders). Legal manoeuvring certainly shouldn’t be front and centre if a poster here is in a situation where they need help of this sort, and none of us here are qualified to make that determination.

In any event, we can debate for days, but on this forum a poster’s past behaviour IS considered when making moderation decisions. Posting the same or similar discussion repeatedly, in an accusatory and aggressive fashion, is spamming and will be handled accordingly.

[LovingFather32]

Okay mcdreamy
Calling CAS when there's child abuse is bad advice to you maybe. Not me.

[SadAndTired]

RE: Bickering. How does I initiate on ODF? Let's take a look.

If we want to talk bashing lets take a look:
__________________________________________________ ___________
SadAndTired:

"A f'ing phone number is not going to administer epinephrine in the case of a forgotten epipen.

If a physician has prescribed it and deemed it necessary, a GOOD parent (in this case Dad) would have it with the child at all times. "

(Inflammatory language .. calling a poster a bad father. But nobody get defensive or stick up for themselves okay? .. Goes both ways is all Im saying).
__________________________________________________ __________

McDreamy:
Stop griping, moaning and get to parenting
__________________________________________________ _____

The way some of these posters talk to people is unbearable at times. Perhaps at least a minute amount of focus should be shifted there for a moment as well. Go through my threads. When comments like these show up .. the thread was sent off course.

Do people not see that?

She's using inflammatory language and calling a parent a bad father in the same sentence.

Hahaha.

If you hadnt brought up my name, I would not be commenting.

What you have quoted is my quoting Arabian. Thatpost was directed to her. I was quoting her.

Get it right before you rant.

[LovingFather32]

Just to let ppl know. I've placed those who crave drama on ignore list. Thus..cant see you. No point on trying to get a rise out of me that means. Later. Let's stick to the topic

[Straittohell]

Your advising posters (whom may or may not be in an abusive situation according to your imposed standards), to document abuse, call police, call CAS, etc. in advance and in preparation of a custody battle is some of the worst advice I’ve ever seen being given on this site and could very well ignite an already incendiary situation. This is not legal advice or legal discussion under anyone’s definition.

I don't see any evidence of LF32 having ever stated this.

He DID outline that if someone thinks a child is being abused, to call CAS. He DIDN'T advise someone do it to prepare for a custody battle. In fact, he's been pretty much saying the opposite.

[LovingFather32]

I know Strait. She sees what she wants. It's fine.
If there's abuse.. document it and do something about it. Not sure what all her nonsense is about "accusatory" and planning in advance.
And I see many other threads talking about DV and how to get help when you need it (Janibel etc). She just picks on me. It's okay...I can take it.

[arabian]

For what it's worth, my statement was directed at the mother who was, IMO, alluding that the father was abusive for forgetting to send the EpiPen with the kid on the overnight. My point was that instead of pointing fingers and blaming the other parent, one should simply see what steps could be taken so that if child has forgotten EpiPen, there is a contingency plan in place. Medical Alert bracelets can be more than something the EMT people look at when a child is comatose, rather the child should be trained to go to the "responsible adult" when arriving at a friend's place and ensure the parent reads the bracelet. The responsible responsible parent would know that the child has a severe allergy and should know that the child should carry medications on them at all times. If the child arrives without the medicine the parents should be contacted immediately. This is how these things are handled in my neck of the woods anyhow. Who feeds a kid without finding if they have an allergy? I certainly don't. Same goes for adults. First time people come to my place I always inquire if they have any food allergies.

Whatever the case, a plan of action should be in place. As there was none in this situation I expressed my opinion that I questioned the child was that severely allergic (of course I do not know). It wouldn't be the first time that someone used a child's illness to play into claims of abuse against the other parent. This seems to be the 'flavour of the month.'

I believe that when children are young we teach them to look both ways across the road and then back again before crossing the road. This is the same thing with allergies. A simple but very important safety routine should be adopted.

[LovingFather32]

And S&T gets no warning regarding her swearing nor her claim that he is not a good father. Toxic.

[wantmyfreedom]

I know Strait. She sees what she wants. It's fine.
If there's abuse.. document it and do something about it. Not sure what all her nonsense is about "accusatory" and planning in advance.
And I see many other threads talking about DV and how to get help when you need it (Janibel etc). She just picks on me. It's okay...I can take it.

C'mon just stop. Just stop the drama.

Mcdreamy isn't accusing you of anything nor attacking you. She moved your thread to the appropriate sub forum. What she is trying to articulate: Some of your advice pertaining to documenting evidence can get someone killed in a DV situation. Mcdreamy is saying that are professionals out there that can help victims better than we can.

Let us be civil to each other even if we disagree with one another. Lets agree to disagree.

Let us not bash each other's opinions.

Not just you....everyone here on this virtual forum, including me.

[SadAndTired]

And S&T gets no warning regarding her swearing nor her claim that he is not a good father. Toxic.

Again LF. I did not swear. I actually abbreviated the word when I quoted Arabian.

Here is the original post I was commenting on.

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...tml#post185396

I guess you are angry at Arabian too for not getting a warning?

Time to move on LF. And don't worry about the ignore function. I have heard that from you before.

As I said, do not bring up my name and I will not respond to your posts. Seems to me that you are stirring the pot instead of focusing on your child.

[Straittohell]

As I said, do not bring up my name and I will not respond to your posts. Seems to me that you are stirring the pot instead of focusing on your child.

Ah, the irony. You've stirred it now...

[LovingFather32]

Dealing with access, abuse and how it relates with past conduct is indeed a hot topic in family law and certainly not always fully understood. I'm glad we are able to remain on topic to discuss this.

[LovingFather32]

S&T

You've brought my innocent 3 year old child into this. Just vile. I've made a report. Seek help.