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  • #31
    Originally posted by arabian View Post
    Do you really think that squabbling over furniture will make it to court?
    The situation is simple, the furniture and other items are tallied into the equalization, and net amount is presented.

    It works out easiest, if she is being difficult, that if he owes her an equalization amount, he deducts the amount of the furniture from what he is willing to pay. Then she has the option of taking him to court over the cost of a few items of furniture.

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    • #32
      The furniture in question is his adult daughters, as such it is not in his name or his ex's name it belongs to his adult daughter.

      As such there is no equalization with regards to that furniture. If the ex takes it, then it's stealing and should be reported to the police.
      I would send a letter to her lawyer indicting that your daughters furniture is not to be removed from the house. If you can get a list of the furniture or get a walk through before she leaves (24 hour notice) and take pictures of the furniture then great.

      If the furniture is taken, then it should be your adult daughter who goes to the police and not you. They don't belong to you, they belong to your daughter and as such she would have to file the police report.

      If you can get into the house on 24 hours notice, go in with new door nob with a keyed lock. Place all the furniture that belongs to your daughter into a room and lock it. If the ex decides to go into the room, that is breaking and entering.

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      • #33
        The furniture that is not paid for is not hers, it is a living room set that is on a deferred payment plan. I am sorry I was not clear on that point. She EMPTIED the house. Fridge, stove EVERYTHING. I don't know if an equalization payment is relevant in a common law relationship she can certainly try for compensation via a trust suit. It is becoming amply clear that she isn't actually listening to her lawyer's advice because she just called and said she refuses to leave the house until she knows who will be moving in there afterwards. I will probably just change the locks tomorrow and let the chips fall where they may, I wanted to avoid running into issues with the police and doing anything that will not reflect well when it comes time to go to court.

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        • #34
          She is moved out. My daughter is installed at the house...with no furniture. I had the voicemail message changed on the home phone on the 31st as she had already emptied the house. She some how managed to change it back yesterday evening, for what reason? I don't know.

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          • #35
            My experience

            STBX took over MY 2800 sq ft house with the 3 kids she had with her ex husband. They literally destroyed my house after they moved in. The carpet upstairs and in the basement is completely ruined and the walls look like a grenade exploded. The title and Mortgage are in MY name only and I bought the home before we were married! We have one biological child together. STBX beat the crap out of me one night and I took every punch knowing that if I fought back I'd be on the hook for DV or I'd lose my job if any DV was reported to the RCMP. I left the next day and used my credit cards to rent an apartment. 10 days later she served me with a "Family Application" asking for exclusive occupancy and child support for 4 kids. The Judge gave her exclusive occupancy of MY house, ordered me to pay support for Bio Daughter, AND ordered me to pay for the house, including utilities, while she lives for free until a "special family session" in September. Her new BF is there all the time. Her Mom and Step Dad are there every day. Hydro is $200 per month alone. I suggest getting a lawyer to ensure that you get your house back!

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            • #36
              She is gone. She moved out already and took everything that wasn't nailed down. I posted a trespass notice as well as changing the locks.

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              • #37
                I wish my ex would move out. She's a legal squatter and still planting trees in the back yard of a house with a mortgage and title in my name. FML.

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                • #38
                  Things are a bit different for me, I was never married to her. My house is not a marital home. Exclusive possession is not an option in a common law situation. Believe me I KNOW that the nightmare is just beginning for me too, at least now she is out of the house and I can start getting it back together again. It also helps that our son lives with me.

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                  • #39
                    Good to hear she is physically out of the house. Hope things improve for you now. Might not be a bad idea to get your daughter to sign a lease with you.


                    All the best

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                    • #40
                      We are moving back into the house within the next couple of weeks. Is the signing of a lease a CYA in regards to my daughter or my ex? She is over there just making sure nothing happens to the house and getting it cleaned up so I can get in to do repairs and renos.

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                      • #41
                        If she has signed a lease she cannot claim that your house is any longer her residence.

                        In landlord/tenant law, the situation can come up. A tenant has rights as a resident even if they are behind on their rent, if the landlord has filed for eviction, etc. However if they sign a lease on another property, then they are no longer a resident and their rights to occupy the original premises are lost.

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                        • #42
                          In my opinion it would be better to have your daughter on the lease. I wouldn't put your ex's name on any piece of paper - don't give her ANY rights whatsoever. In the lease between you and your daughter you might want to include a clause that states, very clearly, no over-night guests. This would give your daughter an 'easy out' should your ex want to stay over.

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                          • #43
                            My ex is not my daughter's mother. My daughter is well aware that the ex is no longer allowed on the property. I still have the no trespass notice posted on the house. Since I will be moving back into the house hopefully it will negate any grey area. My ex is my son's mother. I have three older daughters that are very happy that the ex is out of the house.

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                            • #44
                              She has finally obtained a lawyer and mailed me a letter stating that she wants custody of our son, spousal support and is bringing a trust suit against the value of the house. A friend of hers has confided in me that she has obtained a lawyer under legal aid with claims of abuse. I am going to apply for Legal Aid as well but likely I will not be eligible. I think she is counting on me to fold due to the high cost of legal representation. I texted her an offer of 250.00/mth and obviously visitation with our son. He does not want to live with his mother, it is often a struggle to get him to visit. She made some false claims in her letter from the lawyer and I am not sure how she plans to prove the statements? Is it a fool's mission to think about self ripping against someone who has Legal Aid backing?

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                              • #45
                                Workingdad from this forum successfully self-reped against a legal aid lawyer, and in fact was awarded costs.

                                Anyone who self-reps can win against a lawyer if they have a good case. A legal aid lawyer is not a magician.

                                If you are even contemplating legal aid, I cannot see how your income would be high enough to be paying any spousal support. Your house does not mean you can't get legal aid, just your income.

                                Your 15 year old son is more than old enough to have his wishes met. If he does not wish to live with his mother, there is no court that will force him. Not to mention that by the time this gets to trial he will be 16.

                                Without knowing what the "false claims" are, there is no way to make any comment on whether they are relevant or admissible or provable.

                                If this were me I would not fold or bother with a lawyer just yet. I would NOT make offers of spousal support because this means you are ADMITTING entitlement. Entitlement must be PROVEN.

                                Any offers you make must NOT be made by text message, for goodness sakes!! Make proper formal offers that state "Without prejudice" on the top, which indicates that you are negotiating but not admitting any liabilities.

                                If you sign such an offer, it may be binding, so make sure it is one you can live with.

                                Your relationship was common law. You do not owe her any assets. Any amount of Spousal has to be factually proven. Your son does not want to live with her, so any claim she makes for custody is absolutely absurd. She owes you child support, even if she is unemployed, she should be imputed a full-time minimum wage income (roughly $20,000.)

                                If this were me I would make a written offer without prejudice for full legal custody with me, primary residence with me (the term means little but establishes your son in the local school jurisdiction) and full-time residence with me, with access by the mother according to the son's wishes. The mother would pay table amount of child support according to a $20,000 imputed income, and owe child support arrears according to that amount since the date of separation. I would not mention anything about spousal support.

                                If they make any claim for spousal support, insist that they justify the entitlement and require the lawyer to provide case law support. Do not make any offers unless/until it is clear she has entitlement.

                                Comment

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