Hi,
Im looking for comments from those that may/and/have been through this.
Background:
4.5 year common law relationship. No children of the relationship, but a now 16 year old daughter (his) and a 26 year old daughter (mine) who is classified disabled with ADHD and gets ODSP support.
When I met him, his house was a disaster, filthy dirty and crap everywhere. I scrubbed, cleaned and organized everything. I did all the household chores with the exception of him vacuuming. He worked the occasional on-call shift so I babysat his daughter while he went out on these calls. When he was fired from his job, I helped him organize the house and stage the house to be sold.
After he sold his house, he moved into my house and during this time he paid no rent, nor did he contribute to the household chores. He lived in my house for about 6 months, until we sold my house and bought a new house.
When buying the new house, he did not have enough money from the sale of his house to match my downpayment. We discussed options of him getting a loan to pay me back or of me having a greater percentage of the house than him. Our mortgage broker discussed these options with him and kept the paper with the information conveyed to him.
I decided to match his payments, so that it would work out to a 50/50 split, however, the offer we made on the house was more than the bank would give us a mortgage for, so I put 67,000 down to his 58,000. But since we wanted the house to be set up that if I died he got the house, and if I died he got the house, it was set up as a 50/50 ownership. He however agreed verbally that when we sold, I would get more money back from the sale of the house. I had to put a further 22,000 into a bank investment to guarantee the mortgage as he was not working, and I had had a car accident and was off work on sick leave.
Once we were in the new house, I did all of the domestic chores, and all the unpacking. He did his oncall shifts and I babysat his daughter while he was out on these calls. His daughter lived with us one week on and one week off.
I further purchased a hot tub for the house, new awnings for the back deck, new light fixtures in all rooms as well as outside lights, i renovated the first floor bathroom (bought everything and installed it except for plumbing and tap installation, paid to have a basement apartment framing done, replaced all the defetive windows, purchased a stain glass window, a fountain for the backyard, all the curtains/curtain rods, purchased furniture for his daughter's room. I purchased a snow blower for snow removal in the winter.
I completely landscaped the front and backyards of the house, spent all summer cleaning weeds out of the lawn, cut the grass and did the majority of snow removal in the winter. I did all the housework as well as shopped for all household items. I also unpacked all the boxes and put everything were it needed to go.
There was an issue with him taking his washer/dryer from the old house. I did all the negotiating with the lawyer on the other side to make them go away and stop legal proceedings against him for having not left them in the house as per the terms of the sale.
In addition, I helped him do the paperwork for his divorce and helped him get his separation agreement voided, and a new shared custody plan put in place, which meant he no longer paid child support and then had joint custody.
He has a drinking problem, and smokes hash. I do not have these problems.
During our time together, I was on sick leave from work until I resigned from my position. I went to a new company but this was a mistake and I resigned two months into it. So for approximately 3 years I was not working, however, I paid all the household bills except for electricity, and half of the mortgage. I accumulated debt of approximately 30,000.
He started working about 3 months after we moved into the new house, and paid only his share of the mortgage. He agreed to pay back his share of the household bills. I kept a running tab of what he owed me, and would settle with him every six months.
We lived in the new house for one and a half years, until we separated this mothers day.
About a year ago, he was drinking, and while drunk, he had a temper tantrum and was screaming and yelling. I tried to get him to calm down while he was in the bathroom washing his hands. To leave the bathroom he smashed himself into my right shoulder. He then proceeded into the bedroom of which we have two exits. I headed for the main exit and was standing there when he started yelling at me. I turned around and he was in my face. I stood there and he physically grabbed me and smashed me into the door pushing me to the side. After he let go of my arms, I started smacking him in the head, telling him to keep his hands off me and to never touch me again. He stood dumbfounded after I smacked him about 8 times in the head. His actions left bruise marks on my arm that matched his hand and thumb prints. In addition, my right wrist was injured. He tried to deny doing this to me the next day.
To protect myself I took pictures of the marks on my two arms, and I showed the marks to my neighbour, hairdresser, contractor as well as two different medical doctors and had them make assault reports. I also had xrays done of my right wrist which was not fractured. I did not report this incident to the police, but rather spoke to him and told him if he ever touched me again that I would have him charged and would show him no mercy.
The relationship was strained after this incident.
Fast forward to one year later, and now his drinking is more out of control, and he is having frequent anger outburst and trying to pick fights. After four days of verbal abuse, I decided I had enough and called 911. I asked them to remove him from the house. We both own 50/50 of the house. They convinced him to leave the house. I decided it was time to lay assault charges in the hopes of him getting much needed rehab.
He is seeing a doctor regularly for elevated AST levels, which are a sign of liver disease, because of his heavy drinking. He also has high blood pressure and plaque build up in his carotid artery. And he suffers from sleep apnea, and must take B12 pills as his body is not making enough B12 now.
He refused to go to AA, but did go for about 4 visits to a counsellor. In January I discovered a 1/4 onze of hash in his drawer.
The detectives did an investigation and found enough evidence to lay charges on his for assault 8 months after it happened. So he cannot come back to the house or communicate with me or my daughter.
Now that we have split, I have discovered that he has not paid all of the hydro, that we owe 1000 on the hydro, in addition to his share of the other bills that he still owes me.
He further wants to force the sale and expects to get 50% despite me having invested way more than him, and having done all the work. I know that if I go to court, I will get more of his share based on unjust enrichment. But I will have to fight him.
He is also not considering buyout options as he is seeking revenge for being arrested.
Question:
Has any one had success in pursuing unjust enrichment and is it worth fighting for a greater share? If based on everything I told you, I would only get a 2% piece of his share, than that is only 12,000 which is probably less than the legal bills to fight it. 4% is a 24,000 increase to me. I will not recover all my legal costs from him even if the judge awards some costs.
What are your thoughts on my decision to have him charged at this stage of the relationship? Some people think I did it to get him out of the house, but that was not what was on my mind at the time. I was concerned that he would hurt me as he was in a rage, and had been drinking heavily on the Thursday, friday and saturday nights. It was Sunday morning about 3 hours after he had gone to bed and had gotten up angry again, that I called 911.
He was often verbally abusive in the relationship and I felt like I was contantly walking on eggshells, not wanting to upset him.
I am thinking it might be better to cut my losses and sell the house and give him 50/50 just to be rid of him, and not potentially have any further risks to my safety.
The other half says, that I deserve more from the house as I invested more, and he agreed to give me more (verbally). I have receipts for what I spent, and can prove I paid all the household bills.
What are your thoughts?
Thank you.
Im looking for comments from those that may/and/have been through this.
Background:
4.5 year common law relationship. No children of the relationship, but a now 16 year old daughter (his) and a 26 year old daughter (mine) who is classified disabled with ADHD and gets ODSP support.
When I met him, his house was a disaster, filthy dirty and crap everywhere. I scrubbed, cleaned and organized everything. I did all the household chores with the exception of him vacuuming. He worked the occasional on-call shift so I babysat his daughter while he went out on these calls. When he was fired from his job, I helped him organize the house and stage the house to be sold.
After he sold his house, he moved into my house and during this time he paid no rent, nor did he contribute to the household chores. He lived in my house for about 6 months, until we sold my house and bought a new house.
When buying the new house, he did not have enough money from the sale of his house to match my downpayment. We discussed options of him getting a loan to pay me back or of me having a greater percentage of the house than him. Our mortgage broker discussed these options with him and kept the paper with the information conveyed to him.
I decided to match his payments, so that it would work out to a 50/50 split, however, the offer we made on the house was more than the bank would give us a mortgage for, so I put 67,000 down to his 58,000. But since we wanted the house to be set up that if I died he got the house, and if I died he got the house, it was set up as a 50/50 ownership. He however agreed verbally that when we sold, I would get more money back from the sale of the house. I had to put a further 22,000 into a bank investment to guarantee the mortgage as he was not working, and I had had a car accident and was off work on sick leave.
Once we were in the new house, I did all of the domestic chores, and all the unpacking. He did his oncall shifts and I babysat his daughter while he was out on these calls. His daughter lived with us one week on and one week off.
I further purchased a hot tub for the house, new awnings for the back deck, new light fixtures in all rooms as well as outside lights, i renovated the first floor bathroom (bought everything and installed it except for plumbing and tap installation, paid to have a basement apartment framing done, replaced all the defetive windows, purchased a stain glass window, a fountain for the backyard, all the curtains/curtain rods, purchased furniture for his daughter's room. I purchased a snow blower for snow removal in the winter.
I completely landscaped the front and backyards of the house, spent all summer cleaning weeds out of the lawn, cut the grass and did the majority of snow removal in the winter. I did all the housework as well as shopped for all household items. I also unpacked all the boxes and put everything were it needed to go.
There was an issue with him taking his washer/dryer from the old house. I did all the negotiating with the lawyer on the other side to make them go away and stop legal proceedings against him for having not left them in the house as per the terms of the sale.
In addition, I helped him do the paperwork for his divorce and helped him get his separation agreement voided, and a new shared custody plan put in place, which meant he no longer paid child support and then had joint custody.
He has a drinking problem, and smokes hash. I do not have these problems.
During our time together, I was on sick leave from work until I resigned from my position. I went to a new company but this was a mistake and I resigned two months into it. So for approximately 3 years I was not working, however, I paid all the household bills except for electricity, and half of the mortgage. I accumulated debt of approximately 30,000.
He started working about 3 months after we moved into the new house, and paid only his share of the mortgage. He agreed to pay back his share of the household bills. I kept a running tab of what he owed me, and would settle with him every six months.
We lived in the new house for one and a half years, until we separated this mothers day.
About a year ago, he was drinking, and while drunk, he had a temper tantrum and was screaming and yelling. I tried to get him to calm down while he was in the bathroom washing his hands. To leave the bathroom he smashed himself into my right shoulder. He then proceeded into the bedroom of which we have two exits. I headed for the main exit and was standing there when he started yelling at me. I turned around and he was in my face. I stood there and he physically grabbed me and smashed me into the door pushing me to the side. After he let go of my arms, I started smacking him in the head, telling him to keep his hands off me and to never touch me again. He stood dumbfounded after I smacked him about 8 times in the head. His actions left bruise marks on my arm that matched his hand and thumb prints. In addition, my right wrist was injured. He tried to deny doing this to me the next day.
To protect myself I took pictures of the marks on my two arms, and I showed the marks to my neighbour, hairdresser, contractor as well as two different medical doctors and had them make assault reports. I also had xrays done of my right wrist which was not fractured. I did not report this incident to the police, but rather spoke to him and told him if he ever touched me again that I would have him charged and would show him no mercy.
The relationship was strained after this incident.
Fast forward to one year later, and now his drinking is more out of control, and he is having frequent anger outburst and trying to pick fights. After four days of verbal abuse, I decided I had enough and called 911. I asked them to remove him from the house. We both own 50/50 of the house. They convinced him to leave the house. I decided it was time to lay assault charges in the hopes of him getting much needed rehab.
He is seeing a doctor regularly for elevated AST levels, which are a sign of liver disease, because of his heavy drinking. He also has high blood pressure and plaque build up in his carotid artery. And he suffers from sleep apnea, and must take B12 pills as his body is not making enough B12 now.
He refused to go to AA, but did go for about 4 visits to a counsellor. In January I discovered a 1/4 onze of hash in his drawer.
The detectives did an investigation and found enough evidence to lay charges on his for assault 8 months after it happened. So he cannot come back to the house or communicate with me or my daughter.
Now that we have split, I have discovered that he has not paid all of the hydro, that we owe 1000 on the hydro, in addition to his share of the other bills that he still owes me.
He further wants to force the sale and expects to get 50% despite me having invested way more than him, and having done all the work. I know that if I go to court, I will get more of his share based on unjust enrichment. But I will have to fight him.
He is also not considering buyout options as he is seeking revenge for being arrested.
Question:
Has any one had success in pursuing unjust enrichment and is it worth fighting for a greater share? If based on everything I told you, I would only get a 2% piece of his share, than that is only 12,000 which is probably less than the legal bills to fight it. 4% is a 24,000 increase to me. I will not recover all my legal costs from him even if the judge awards some costs.
What are your thoughts on my decision to have him charged at this stage of the relationship? Some people think I did it to get him out of the house, but that was not what was on my mind at the time. I was concerned that he would hurt me as he was in a rage, and had been drinking heavily on the Thursday, friday and saturday nights. It was Sunday morning about 3 hours after he had gone to bed and had gotten up angry again, that I called 911.
He was often verbally abusive in the relationship and I felt like I was contantly walking on eggshells, not wanting to upset him.
I am thinking it might be better to cut my losses and sell the house and give him 50/50 just to be rid of him, and not potentially have any further risks to my safety.
The other half says, that I deserve more from the house as I invested more, and he agreed to give me more (verbally). I have receipts for what I spent, and can prove I paid all the household bills.
What are your thoughts?
Thank you.
Comment