Here is an update. For the first time she has actually blocked an access appointment and did so overtly. Through her lawyer, less than 12 hours before I was set to drive on an 800km round trip to see my daughter, she said: that my child is in a daycare, mother cannot get time off work to remove her from there, and they do not feel comfortable revealing the location of the daycare to me, and therefore informing me the access visit has been unilaterally cancelled.
This was followed with a bunch of insinuations about concern I might have an unprovoked "outburst" with a daycare employee, an allegation that to me is without any merit. Whenever things have become heated between the ex and me I am the first one to suggest we have a neutral third party be present like her parents or someone else. I am there to pick up my child, why would I be upset with a daycare worker, this makes no sense.
The lawyer ended with, "the best remaining alternative is to deal with the daycare information through a court order". Perfect.
I replied that I had arranged my work schedule that I could not change the visit on such short notice, that barring an emergency I did not see the justification. I had already made arrangements to come to Vancouver as part of my business and people are relying on me to make deliveries. I had verbally and by email confirmed with the mother that I would be coming this Wednesday as usual.
The lawyer replied with more snide remarks about how "yes, Mr. Singledad, we know it's only yourself who is allowed to make unilateral cancellations, like when two months went by and you didn't bother to visit your daughter".
She then proposed that we switch this week's access to ten days from now, on a date which will not work for me because I am writing an exam in my city on that day.
I replied that I am driving to Vancouver anyway, and I hope your client will reconsider and that my daughter will be made available at 3pm, and if not, I will reply to all matters at that time.
I drove to Vancouver because I had to anyway, my daughter was not at home and I left after knocking once. I then sent an email outlining Tayken's quoted Offer to Settle with respect to Communications. I said I would like a response on the following three items by next Monday at noon:
1. Whether she intends to block access next Wednesday and Thursday and/or subsequent weeks.
2. An answer to my proposal about Christmas Access sent ten days ago and so far ignored
3. An answer to my Offer to Settle re Communications which was shown below.
She replied last night, not directly answering question #1 but again proposing we switch the parenting time to the weekend. With respect to question 2, she counterproposed that my eldest daughter and I get the amount of time we are requesting for Christmas but that we enjoy it in Vancouver – in other words, out of the back of my car and in shopping malls like last year.
With respect to question 3 she answered as follows. She is not too aware of Our Family Wizard and doesn't have any clients using it. She will review the case law and advise. Then she leaves off with another snide remark, (paraphrased), "perhaps if you would learn to craft emails, text messages and phone calls in a more respectful manner, there wouldn't be any need for Our Family Wizard at all".
I replied explaining why next Saturday doesn't work for me traveling, asking if this means she was going to cancel the Wednesday parenting time, and on the matter of Communications, as follows,
"On communications you and your client have been asserting for several weeks now I will be informed about the daycare "in due course". I chose that case law specifically because it involved a mother withholding vital information about the child, based on allegations about how the father conducted his inquiries for information. The draft order addresses all legitimate concerns of both your client and me on this issue. I vehemently deny all of your allegations and insinuations used as justification to be keeping me in the dark about my daughter D2 and her daycare. With respect, I do not believe the evidence will support opposition to my draft order. "
Sincerely,
Singledad
This was followed with a bunch of insinuations about concern I might have an unprovoked "outburst" with a daycare employee, an allegation that to me is without any merit. Whenever things have become heated between the ex and me I am the first one to suggest we have a neutral third party be present like her parents or someone else. I am there to pick up my child, why would I be upset with a daycare worker, this makes no sense.
The lawyer ended with, "the best remaining alternative is to deal with the daycare information through a court order". Perfect.
I replied that I had arranged my work schedule that I could not change the visit on such short notice, that barring an emergency I did not see the justification. I had already made arrangements to come to Vancouver as part of my business and people are relying on me to make deliveries. I had verbally and by email confirmed with the mother that I would be coming this Wednesday as usual.
The lawyer replied with more snide remarks about how "yes, Mr. Singledad, we know it's only yourself who is allowed to make unilateral cancellations, like when two months went by and you didn't bother to visit your daughter".
She then proposed that we switch this week's access to ten days from now, on a date which will not work for me because I am writing an exam in my city on that day.
I replied that I am driving to Vancouver anyway, and I hope your client will reconsider and that my daughter will be made available at 3pm, and if not, I will reply to all matters at that time.
I drove to Vancouver because I had to anyway, my daughter was not at home and I left after knocking once. I then sent an email outlining Tayken's quoted Offer to Settle with respect to Communications. I said I would like a response on the following three items by next Monday at noon:
1. Whether she intends to block access next Wednesday and Thursday and/or subsequent weeks.
2. An answer to my proposal about Christmas Access sent ten days ago and so far ignored
3. An answer to my Offer to Settle re Communications which was shown below.
She replied last night, not directly answering question #1 but again proposing we switch the parenting time to the weekend. With respect to question 2, she counterproposed that my eldest daughter and I get the amount of time we are requesting for Christmas but that we enjoy it in Vancouver – in other words, out of the back of my car and in shopping malls like last year.
With respect to question 3 she answered as follows. She is not too aware of Our Family Wizard and doesn't have any clients using it. She will review the case law and advise. Then she leaves off with another snide remark, (paraphrased), "perhaps if you would learn to craft emails, text messages and phone calls in a more respectful manner, there wouldn't be any need for Our Family Wizard at all".
I replied explaining why next Saturday doesn't work for me traveling, asking if this means she was going to cancel the Wednesday parenting time, and on the matter of Communications, as follows,
"On communications you and your client have been asserting for several weeks now I will be informed about the daycare "in due course". I chose that case law specifically because it involved a mother withholding vital information about the child, based on allegations about how the father conducted his inquiries for information. The draft order addresses all legitimate concerns of both your client and me on this issue. I vehemently deny all of your allegations and insinuations used as justification to be keeping me in the dark about my daughter D2 and her daycare. With respect, I do not believe the evidence will support opposition to my draft order. "
Sincerely,
Singledad
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