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  • #61
    <TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0> <TBODY> <TR> <TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset">Originally Posted by FamilyGuy
    I don't know that I have ever intimidated her. I mean, I have always been supportive of her.
    </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
    If you told her you were going to take the child and raise him/her, that's pretty darn intimidating. You've got a lot of work to do to gain her trust back after that.
    Exactly.
    You keep mentioning that this girl has questionable reasoning skills but truthfully I'm wondering a bit about yours and so would a judge.
    This girl is young...she may not have the best home situation...and she may even be unbalanced...but all of that didn't stop you from not only getting into a sexual relationship with her but also impregnating her. You certainly didn't help her outcome in life.

    At this point, you have an obligation...not just to this child...but to this girl. If you can help her at all, you really should. In my opinion, you took advantage of someone who is much younger than you...but by your own admission sounds emotionally stunted. That's pretty messed up. The response to that is not to then add to the injury you've committed by suggesting that you're also going to take her baby away.

    Pregnant women generally are pretty hypersensitive about some guy who took advantage of their age and immaturity also suggesting that they're going to take their baby away when its first born. I'd imagine that if she has any feedback from anyone close to her in life...they're telling her to stay the hell away from you.

    I'm having trouble understanding why you don't grasp this. But listen to the posters here who've been through custody cases. You don't have a case yet. Do whatever you can to make amends to this girl so that you can both help her and get to see your child when its born. You have an obligation to try to fix what you've done as the capable adult in this situation. Then start documenting your interaction with her and the child. That way, IF you can't help her...you can start proving your case for custody.

    By the way: A pregnancy...especially an unplanned one...can make even well-adjusted, older women emotionally unbalanced. Its hectic to your physical and mental state...very hormonal time. So I wouldn't put too much stock in anything that happens during pregnancy as a necessary indicator for future behavior. Its hard to tell, she's very young and I doubt this is the way she wanted to become a mother.
    Last edited by Pursuinghappiness; 04-14-2014, 05:44 PM.

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    • #62
      Originally posted by arabian View Post
      If I were the mother of the 19yr old I would be devastated. What sort of man (a father no less) impregnates a girl 16 years his junior?

      D I S G U S T I N G

      You do realize that you are old enough to be her father?

      Posting a picture of yourself is sickening - it's almost like you are proud of what you have done.

      You are a predator in my opinion, nothing less.
      I don't condone his behaviour but what bothers me more then the age difference is that he recognized her "illness" yet still carried on with a sexual relationship with her which ended up with her getting "pregnant".

      I don't see how any judge or court can and would award him with any custody really. but Im no judge and this is simply my opinion.

      If you want to take anything from this entire thread, you should probably seek counselling of some sort. Im sure this is a difficult time for you and Im sure counselling could be very helpful.

      Good Luck

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      • #63
        I certainly hope I didn't give the impression that I am proud of anything here. And I certainly didn't ask to be judged either. I am using this forum simply to gather advice. If you don't have anything constructive to add to help with this goal than I politely ask that you keep you opinions to yourself. Thank you.

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        • #64
          As I stated before, I didn't see any signs of any "illness" until after she became pregnant (didn't know it at the time that she was pregnant). When I did finally clue into her "illness", I distanced myself. After that is when she told me she was pregnant.

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          • #65
            I hope this girl has decent family support network in place and gets an immediate restraining order preventing this person from harassing her.

            20000 texts? Please correct me if I didn't read this correctly. WTF?

            This is a classic example of why women's shelters and support systems are required.

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            • #66
              Originally posted by FamilyGuy View Post
              As I stated before, I didn't see any signs of any "illness" until after she became pregnant (didn't know it at the time that she was pregnant). When I did finally clue into her "illness", I distanced myself. After that is when she told me she was pregnant.
              Ok. So she has been pregnant since Jan? After you distances yourself from her because of her "illness"? And now she isn't communicating with you?

              I personally would sit back and wait. There really isn't anything you can do at this point weather its true or not.

              Arabian;

              I believe he stated that there is 12 000 text messages and not 20 000 text messages. that's an average of 32 text messages every day for a year. 230 every week for a year, 1 000 every month for 12 months. On average of course.

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              • #67
                To be clear... she sought me out. It was her attention during a difficult time in my life that even attracted me to her in the first place. I never sought her out. I never preyed on her. It was never my intention to get into anything that intimate with her. It is a regrettable decision that I am in no way proud of. But I have to move forward here. Her last relationship, BTW was with a man 42 years old. She is attracted to older men. And had I known her intentions early on, I would've avoided it. I was just happy to have someone give me some attention during a very difficult time in my life. It evolved from there. It is my belief that she sought me out with the intention of starting a sexual relationship. I began communicating with her for other reasons.

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                • #68
                  And yes, she and I primarily communicated through messaging. In fact, we only talked on the phone once, which is probably one of the reasons it took me so long to catch on to her "illness".

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                  • #69
                    To be clear... she sought me out. It was her attention during a difficult time in my life that even attracted me to her in the first place. I never sought her out. I never preyed on her. It was never my intention to get into anything that intimate with her. It is a regrettable decision that I am in no way proud of. But I have to move forward here. Her last relationship, BTW was with a man 42 years old. She is attracted to older men. And had I known her intentions early on, I would've avoided it. I was just happy to have someone give me some attention during a very difficult time in my life. It evolved from there. It is my belief that she sought me out with the intention of starting a sexual relationship. I began communicating with her for other reasons.
                    The first part of fixing any mistake is first admitting your own culpability.

                    She's not to blame because you had unprotected sex with her.

                    Particularly because you are far older than she is.

                    And yes, she and I primarily communicated through messaging. In fact, we only talked on the phone once, which is probably one of the reasons it took me so long to catch on to her "illness".
                    This just goes to prove what I said above even further.

                    You didn't know anything about her and barely even verbally spoke to her.

                    Frankly, you're luckily you only got her pregnant and didn't end up with HIV.

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                    • #70
                      It was early January that I started to realize that she had issues that were concerning. Namely, when she told me that she was playing with dolls, pretending they were babies. The record will show that I questioned her about it repeatedly. That's when more stuff came out. Such as she sucks her thumb. It was then that I backed off. We would still chat every now and then, but it was mostly topical subjects like how was your day and what's new. Weeks later is when she told me she was pregnant.

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                      • #71
                        I hope I didn't insinuate that I was blaming her in any way. Certainly I am not. I do accept responsibility, which I think I am showing here by even being here.

                        You're right. I barely knew her. She sought me out during a difficult time in my life. I appreciated that attention. That's how it all started.

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                        • #72
                          This just gets creepier....

                          My advice:

                          Get some professional counselling and put money away for future litigation/child support. For all you know this girl is only 15.

                          Stay off of the internet dating sites.

                          Leave the child-mother alone.

                          FYI - Often paedophiles reportedly feel terrible remorse for their actions but they simply can't help themselves.
                          Last edited by arabian; 04-14-2014, 06:27 PM.

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                          • #73
                            Originally posted by FamilyGuy View Post
                            It was early January that I started to realize that she had issues that were concerning. Namely, when she told me that she was playing with dolls, pretending they were babies. The record will show that I questioned her about it repeatedly. That's when more stuff came out. Such as she sucks her thumb. It was then that I backed off. We would still chat every now and then, but it was mostly topical subjects like how was your day and what's new. Weeks later is when she told me she was pregnant.

                            Well, this all seems odd to me.

                            Are your questions not answered? If not, what advice are seeking exactly?

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                            • #74
                              I was never on any dating sites. You are clearly twisting and misunderstanding the facts.

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                              • #75
                                You are on a divorce forum site. It doesn't take much of a leap to imagine someone like you on a dating forum.

                                Just saying....


                                Get some help

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