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  • Offers to Settle

    Is there anywhere you can get a sample or examples of how to prepare a offer to settle? Any advice on what to include? How to go about issues and settlement?
    Thanks, Im thinking about preparing one soon as I think it would work on my behave if ex doesn't agree to things...

    Any good advice how to prepare, how to make smart offers etc would be greatly appreciated.

    Do you have to include everything in this offer to settle on the pending matters?

    My question is because ex has not disclosed a house appraisal as he has mentioned he would in his response. I can't see how can I make an offer if it's something I don't have information on

    Can things like this be left out?

    I want to start preparing this on my own then submit it to my lawyer as I am trying to keep my costs down.

  • #2
    Get a pad of paper and make the following headings.
    1. Matrimonial home
    2. Equalization of other assets
    3. Custody and Access
    4. Child Support and Special Expenses
    5. Spousal Support
    Now under each heading state what has to be done (for example you need an assessment of the house) and then what your most likely agreement is for the settlement (splitting the house value 50/50).

    Approach the "Other Assets" differently than the house, it is slightly different rules even though in the end you will add up all the amounts and probably do one equalization. You could also split the bank accounts now and then split the house value in a few months when it sells, you decide what works best for you.

    Custody and Access, you may have an agreement on, but list it anyway.

    CS and SS you may or may not have an agreement on, but put down what your offer is.

    Now look at the whole thing, think about whether you would trade some of one off for the other. How much is in the bank? Is it close to what your share of the house is? Could you trade that now for the half of the house value, and get it over with? Things like you think about.

    If some of these issues you are really far apart, it's possible to settle on some but not others but it is a lot more work, you would be drawing up and signing a whole series of settlement agreements. But it can be done, we almost did that, we were far apart on financial crap and were possibly going to sign an agreement spelling out custody and access so that we wouldn't stress over it. But in the end we kept it all together.

    If you want a sample wording, at the top write "Without Prejudice" then "Regarding Tugofwar vs Jerkofalltime" then "Thank you for (whatever the last bullshit was they sent you.) Having reviewed all of our previous negiotaions I would like to make the following offer to settle."

    Then list all of the points you made above. "Jerk shall provide Tug with an assessed value of the home immediately, and the home shall be put up for sale, the proceeds to be split after expenses are paid." blah blah blah. The thing to remember here is that this isn't the formal legal offer you are signing, so if it isn't all in perfect legal wording who cares, just make sure you are clear about what you are saying.

    Finally "I look forward to receiving your response before (the next full moon). We should both be in agreement that negotiations have dragged on far too long and we are close enough to come to an agreement soon. Yours truly, blah blah blah. PS you need to change your underwear more often."

    Oh yeah, don't be afraid to put a time limit on it if you want. You could write "This offer will available until March 31st, 2010 only. "

    You know all that legal bull in fine print at the bottom of the grocery story flyer, you can copy stuff from that, no one will notice.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Mess View Post
      If you want a sample wording, at the top write "Without Prejudice" then "Regarding Tugofwar vs Jerkofalltime" then "Thank you for (whatever the last bullshit was they sent you.) Having reviewed all of our previous negiotaions I would like to make the following offer to settle."
      Then list all of the points you made above. "Jerk shall provide Tug with an assessed value of the home immediately, and the home shall be put up for sale, the proceeds to be split after expenses are paid." blah blah blah. The thing to remember here is that this isn't the formal legal offer you are signing, so if it isn't all in perfect legal wording who cares, just make sure you are clear about what you are saying.

      Finally "I look forward to receiving your response before (the next full moon). We should both be in agreement that negotiations have dragged on far too long and we are close enough to come to an agreement soon. Yours truly, blah blah blah. PS you need to change your underwear more often."

      Oh yeah, don't be afraid to put a time limit on it if you want. You could write "This offer will available until March 31st, 2010 only. "

      You know all that legal bull in fine print at the bottom of the grocery story flyer, you can copy stuff from that, no one will notice.
      You are too funny! Thanks for keeping this technical with some humour!

      Comment


      • #4
        LMAO!! GREAT advice Mess!!

        Comment


        • #5
          I want to start preparing this but I have not been given a date for our first case conference and am quite confused what's taking so long? Application was done and served in January this year. A date should have been assigned at that time right? I contacted my lawyers assistant and she said she was still waiting to hear back with a date that's convienent with the ex and lawyer. This could take forever.
          WHAT ABOUT ME? MY TIME MEANS NOTHING I GUESS... What should I do? Should I send another email and be firm that if we don't hear back from his lawyer regarding the day then we will go ahead a book a day ALREADY!!!
          I don't want any delays.

          Comment


          • #6
            Can you go to the court and schedule it yourself? If your lawyer can't make it I see no real loss as he is not doing his job anyway. Might be time to drop him and pick up one who will actually call you back.

            Comment


            • #7
              Can I call to see the court with the court number and find out what's going on?
              Really, I think I should know the date and the date by now should be determined.

              Comment


              • #8
                I am really frustrated still. I will probably have to call my lawyer tomorrow to see what's going on.
                What is the FLIC information night thing? Honestly, I hate just sitting here!

                Comment


                • #9
                  The applicant and respondent both attend on different nights, it is an information night about family law and you get a nifty handbook and watch a video with Peter Mansbridge and a couple who are arguing in a case conference about who gets the house.

                  You are obligated to attend, and you have to get some form stamped to prove you were there. So if you didn't get notice of this, you probably don't have a court date, you really need to give your lawyer a swift kick.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by tugofwar View Post
                    I want to start preparing this but I have not been given a date for our first case conference and am quite confused what's taking so long? Application was done and served in January this year. A date should have been assigned at that time right? I contacted my lawyers assistant and she said she was still waiting to hear back with a date that's convienent with the ex and lawyer. This could take forever.
                    WHAT ABOUT ME? MY TIME MEANS NOTHING I GUESS... What should I do? Should I send another email and be firm that if we don't hear back from his lawyer regarding the day then we will go ahead a book a day ALREADY!!!
                    I don't want any delays.
                    Still not heard from my lawyer regarding a date................................... URRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRR

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      FINALLY. Heard from the lawyer and the cc date has been set! Didn't have to pull that many teeth, stopped at the last molars.....

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Mess View Post
                        The applicant and respondent both attend on different nights, it is an information night about family law and you get a nifty handbook and watch a video with Peter Mansbridge and a couple who are arguing in a case conference about who gets the house.

                        You are obligated to attend, and you have to get some form stamped to prove you were there. So if you didn't get notice of this, you probably don't have a court date, you really need to give your lawyer a swift kick.
                        I just found this tonight so my understanding is it's just in the Toronto area where this session is mandatory:



                        At the Superior Court of Justice in Toronto, all parties in contested matters are required to attend a Family Information Session where they obtain information about the process of separation and divorce, options for dispute resolution, legal procedures and support available in the community.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          How do you handle things with access with a small toddler? The child will be in school in a few years so do we need to figure this out and have it in the agreement?
                          How about holidays, vacations etc? I want to be prepared as I know a few people having difficulties with this and their final court orders.
                          I don't see there issues here but you never know! Im trying to work with him in regards to our child and access and don't want to use the child as a weapon as many other parents are doing.
                          Holidays- I want to split it 1/2 day with me and 1/2 day with him, I just thinks that's fair and consistent and as our daughter gets older, she will know christmas morning with mom and family, and afternoon with father and family.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by tugofwar View Post
                            How do you handle things with access with a small toddler? The child will be in school in a few years so do we need to figure this out and have it in the agreement?
                            How about holidays, vacations etc? I want to be prepared as I know a few people having difficulties with this and their final court orders.
                            I don't see there issues here but you never know! Im trying to work with him in regards to our child and access and don't want to use the child as a weapon as many other parents are doing.
                            Holidays- I want to split it 1/2 day with me and 1/2 day with him, I just thinks that's fair and consistent and as our daughter gets older, she will know christmas morning with mom and family, and afternoon with father and family.

                            New thread dude.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
                              New thread dude.

                              Why?????????
                              It's still part of my thread, an offer to settle.

                              Comment

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