Just some thouthts....

[Beachnana]

So. Wow a lot of reading in this post. So i think it is the hardest part of " split" families to appreciate that when their child is with one parent and their family the other parent does not need to know everything that is planned, done or not done. Its been a long journey for myself and of course for my daughter but we get this now. We know he is loved and well taken care of by his Dad that is all that matters. Its not " our way is the best way" If the child is not happy about missing some pageant, or hockey game they will let that parent know I am sure.

It would be a wonderful world if every separated couple could equally share with their ex, plans and activity commitments and I am sure some couples have been able to do this and kudos to them. But if not oh well life goes on right?

[kingstonmomof2]

So. Wow a lot of reading in this post. So i think it is the hardest part of " split" families to appreciate that when their child is with one parent and their family the other parent does not need to know everything that is planned, done or not done. Its been a long journey for myself and of course for my daughter but we get this now. We know he is loved and well taken care of by his Dad that is all that matters. Its not " our way is the best way" If the child is not happy about missing some pageant, or hockey game they will let that parent know I am sure.

It would be a wonderful world if every separated couple could equally share with their ex, plans and activity commitments and I am sure some couples have been able to do this and kudos to them. But if not oh well life goes on right?

Hi Beach,
I have left this thread alone for a couple reasons 1. I was asking if anyone else felt the SAME way & I instead got replies from everyone who didn't lol(except1)

2. I realized WHY I feel the way I do about the pageant post. My ex and I would have (given OUR circumstances) simply made it work if child wanted to be a part of it.

My ex & I actually have a GREAT arrangement as far as "plans" go & how our kids live their lives. Although arrangement is week about, we have always made sure that the kids routines/activities (for lack of a better description) play out as if they would if we had stayed together.

(i exaggerated about my reaction to hockey situation & feel it was blown out of proportion)
Lesson learned. My purpose was to safely vent I'm very happy to say that my son hasn't missed hockey since

If my mom or his mom wants the kids for something it makes no difference who's week it is.
If there is an activity, invite, comitment, WHATEVER, it's simply communicated.
If one of us can't take them, the other one does, or a grandparent etc.

Perhaps it helps that there are no other kids in my new arrangement & only 1 in his. (15 girl)
So to ME, some things that others feel are a big deal, aren't to ME.

Not saying it's right or wrong.....just saying

It's obvious that I used the term "best interest of the children" far too loosely.
I guess, because we've never needed anyone to tell us how to do things, we have our own beliefs about what is best for our kids.

All good here! No issues

[Beachnana]

Its okay to vent here. Sure you may get lots of advice or comments. And not always the way you want them. But you can vent. It helps. I have been there and sometimes when I post something I get interesting replies. But that is okay. I think we all come down different roads but in the end we want the same . peace, happiness and dare I say it " the best interests of our child/children met" !

Have a merry christmas.

[kingstonmomof2]

Its okay to vent here. Sure you may get lots of advice or comments. And not always the way you want them. But you can vent. It helps. I have been there and sometimes when I post something I get interesting replies. But that is okay. I think we all come down different roads but in the end we want the same . peace, happiness and dare I say it " the best interests of our child/children met" !

Have a merry christmas.

Merry Christmas to you and yours!