Parenting Time and Pick Up/Drop off?

[SadAndTired]

I don't understand. Has the father ever picked the child up from school?

I think shutting your phone off is a terrible idea. I've seen many children, even up to 8th grade, crying in the office because they missed their bus or haven't been picked up yet. It is really scary for them.

If Dad doesn't come and cannot be contacted and your phone is off, the school will use your emergency contact. If they cannot reach your emergency contact their next choice is CAS. Do you really want that for your child simply to make a point to her dad that he should be there no matter what? I think this advice is terrible.

[Mess]

I think you are overreacting.

[SadAndTired]

I think you are overreacting.

Really? About what?

This isn't emotional for me. I work for the school board in a JK/SK classroom. That is what would happen. The staff aren't going to sit there all night. If no one comes, they eventually call CAS.

And yes, just last Thursday a grade 7 girl missed the bus. She disolved into tears as her parents were at work and she didn't know how she would get home. Kids stress about stuff .

Purposefully being unavailable to your 4 year old's school when you know it is likely Dad won't come is terrible parenting. Why put your child through that just to make a point or teach Dad a lesson?

[Mess]

Do you know any children who have never shed tears? When it's bedtime do you let your children stay up and play computer games because you don't want to traumatize them?

[SadAndTired]

Do you know any children who have never shed tears? When it's bedtime do you let your children stay up and play computer games because you don't want to traumatize them?

Of course not. You are just being inflammatory. Computer games and setting my ex up to fail are very different. I am quite sure you are aware.

I would never engineer a situation where my child is at risk for feeling abandoned or for being temporarily placed with a CAS worker just to prove a point to my ex.

That is what you suggested.

I think you are trying to deflect my true point, Mess because your advice has flaws/consequences. What do you think the school would do if Dad and Mom and an emergency contact cannot be reached?

Perhaps others will have express their views. I think mine is quite clear and doesn't need to be defended against ridiculous comments.

[Mess]

Emergency contacts cannot always be reached, this is a fact of life and well understood by the school system.

People forget their cellphones. People lose their cellphones. Batteries run out. And as difficult as it may be for you to understand, some people have situations where they cannot be reached.

What happens when mom has the weekend free and travels out of town? Is on a plane? Are you claiming that the school would call the CAS and file a complaint against her because she couldn't be reached?

My ex works in a hospital, is rarely at her desk, and must have her cellphone off. Over a dozen times a year the school tries to call her during her custody time, and she cannot be reached. I know, because they then call me. But I'm not always available either, so they leave a message.

This is a reality of life, and it happens plenty often, and the schools manage, and the children manage, and the parents manage.

I am not being inflammatory, I am disagreeing with you. People are not available 24/7. This is a reality of life.

It is not "engineering" a situation when the other parent has the children and you turn off your cell in order to enjoy some privacy.

I still think you are overreacting.

[SadAndTired]

Not overreacting. Speaking from work experience.

If it is 5 pm and Mom/Dad/emerg. contact have not returned any messages what do you think the school does then?

And it is engineered. You told her to turn off her phone specifically so the school cannot call her to say no one came to pick up her 4 year old at the end of the day on a Friday.

[Mess]

I am sorry that you are so easily upset.

[SadAndTired]

I am sorry that you are so easily upset.

Not upset in the least. Not sure how you read that into my posts but either way, hopefully the OP will actually work out a compromise with her ex.