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  • #31
    wow...permanently in another province now? Or do you know?

    There are times when I am ashamed of my half of the species...and really enjoy the imagined scenario of parenting assessment vs. sterilization!

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    • #32
      Your guess is as good as mine. At least the landlord was nice enough to allow me to retrieve some of the kids toys from their mothers before he turfed the lot of it.

      She'll be back at some point I am sure.

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      • #33
        What's your lawyer thinking? I wouldn't settle for no CS on principle. I wouldn't be surprised if the court xnays that as well. It's not kids' problem that she's a screw up. She needs to held accountable to her kids.

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        • #34
          Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
          What's your lawyer thinking? I wouldn't settle for no CS on principle. I wouldn't be surprised if the court xnays that as well. It's not kids' problem that she's a screw up. She needs to held accountable to her kids.
          Oh I agree with you 100%. The damn lawyer just wants to avoid 3 straight days at trial in November. He gets a signed order, he can wash his hands of the whole thing. I however, cannot.

          I was able to get a hold of the latest victim of her eviction games, and asked him if I could get the kids things from their mothers if she chose not to return. Well, he was very nice about the whole thing, and did allow me to take their stuff on Saturday. (She had emailed him the night before and given him written permission to dispose of her things...yup abandoned the contents in their entirety again (2nd time in < 6 months). )

          Apparently he hauled 32 bags of garbage out, and it took 2 people 9+ hours to clean the place...just to give you an idea of the conditions.

          Anyway, I get the stuff home and go through it, and Lo and behold, mixed amongst the kids belongings was a wealth of personal information...including pay stubs showing she's been working steadily since March. I was tentatively agreeing with the lawyer on the no CS thing to try and put an end to this for the kids sake, on the assumption she was a royal screw up and had been not working for however long. Come to find out this is NOT the case, and she is able to secure and hold steady full time employment.

          I nixed the no support thing last night. In all honesty, I'm never going to see a dime, I have no illusions otherwise. BUT having a support order hanging over her head is going to help cut down on any future crap. I call it an "Anti-bullshit measure".

          Lawyer was going on about her being a hardship case because she's now homeless, pregnant, and not working. I basically told him: Results of her own decisions, not my problem, and personal choice. (now we have proof that she CAN work somewhat steadily)

          Also found a handwritten "plan" on what she needed to do to be able to cross the border with the kids, so it appears she's at least considering fleeing the country if this doesn't go her way.

          Oh and apparently she's defrauding welfare (for the 3rd time). She *was* working, as was the current flavor, now neither is. They got evicted, she fled the province, and didn't tell welfare. Went down and reported her to the fraud investigation department this morning.

          She owes them several thousand, and had sufficient hours to file for EI. If she had enough hours, she's OBLIGATED to attempt to get it...and to inform welfare of that fact (since she then has to REPAY welfare if she receives EI). Fraud Investigator was going to dig into things right away, and said she was going to pull the cheque at the post office immediately.

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          • #35
            What's her damage? Booze, drugs, mental illness? Something's really f'ed up there. Was she like this when you were with her?

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            • #36
              At the minimum? She's got some sort of mental health issues. There were signs when we were together, and she steadily got worse as time went on.

              She wasn't always as bat shit crazy as she is now. She flat out refuses to get any sort of help, and I believe 90% or more of the reason she's avoiding the assessor's report is because of the "psychological component" that's part of it. That and she's going to HAVE to sign a release for her CPS file...no way she's going to do that, I've been trying for almost 2 years to have it released under court order.

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              • #37
                She's damned if she does and damned if she doesn't. Too bad so very sad for you kids.

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                • #38
                  Yeah, that's the worst of it. The kids DO miss their mother and DO like spending time with her.

                  I can't make her attend her access time. I CAN do everything in my power to protect them, and to at least TRY to allow them a relationship with their mother.

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                  • #39
                    Just be very careful with the kidnapping concern...the Hague Convention only works if you know where the children are, and the US is awfully big...

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                    • #40
                      Hello NB Dad

                      It sounds like you are doing everything you can for your children. Just remember that they are very lucky to have you.

                      Nadia
                      Last edited by Nadia; 09-28-2010, 09:57 AM.

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                      • #41
                        Well more updates than I know what to do with now.

                        Where to start? Well...

                        She's still in New Brunswick, staying with a friend's sister or some such. (Though this person she is staying with has some pretty decent mental health issues of her own)

                        I had filed a divorce petition back in July of this year, finally got all the papers back to file with the courts. Did that and *BOOM*

                        It initiated a stay of the existing proceedings. (since prior to now we were operating in "family court"). Nothing mentioned in the forms, the registrar's office (who handles process questions about filling it out) told me how to do it, were aware of the existing litigation in family court, AND looked it over twice...never mentioned this. It's also not in the official instructions ANYWHERE. Apparently NB just initiated a FLIC office in the last 60 days...called them wondering...THEY couldn't tell me why it wasn't in the information provided.

                        So downside is that it is going to cost me about $800+ to fix, since I have to go with the overpaid lawyer to roll it into the current proceedings.

                        Upside....by filing the divorce petition, I took her legal aid lawyer out of the equation...legal aid doesn't DO divorce proceedings. So she either has to PAY for a lawyer, or self rep.

                        We served her a status hearing document this week, and lo and behold this morning I get an email from her, wanting to settle things.

                        She offered a couple things, asked about others, so I responded to her with my bottom line. If she accepts it, great...if she won't....we go to trial. Stay tuned, fingers crossed for me please!

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                        • #42
                          Did she agree to sole custody?

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                          • #43
                            She "implied" it. I'm going to get the lawyer to draft something officially...assuming she agrees with what I asked.

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                            • #44
                              Crossing fingers and toes......

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                              • #45
                                Good Luck..let us know!

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