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  • parent showing up at non custodial home on your time

    wanting to take child. call police or wait for them to leave? doesn't seem to be leaving .. just banging on door and ringing bell and broke into my backyard calling child through side windows and shining light into my windows. spoke to her and she continued to bang on door to take child scaring guests and kids. she eventually gave up and left.

    should i have or should i be calling cops? what if she shows up again tomorrow banging on door to take child?

  • #2
    Could it be that its a Holiday weekend? Emotions tend to run higher during holiday. I wouldnt call the cops as it may cause stress for the child(ren). This must have been stressful enough for the child(ren) let alone being embarrassing for the guests.

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    • #3
      Do not call the police (yet). Was there no talking to her or did you just ignore her? Perhaps a simple conversation and chat with the kids would have solved it. Did the kids witness this? If so...very very bad for them.

      My advice, send an e-mail or letter as a gentle reminder that you have a schedule for a reason and that it is not in the children's best interests to observe her in such an unstable, aggressive state. The next time this happens you will be forced to call the police as it is creating an uncomfortable atmosphere for the children and everyone else around.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by tunnelight View Post
        wanting to take child. call police or wait for them to leave? doesn't seem to be leaving .. just banging on door and ringing bell and broke into my backyard calling child through side windows and shining light into my windows. spoke to her and she continued to bang on door to take child scaring guests and kids. she eventually gave up and left.

        should i have or should i be calling cops? what if she shows up again tomorrow banging on door to take child?
        What is the scheduled parenting? Were you withholding?
        Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
          Do not call the police (yet). Was there no talking to her or did you just ignore her? Perhaps a simple conversation and chat with the kids would have solved it. Did the kids witness this? If so...very very bad for them.

          My advice, send an e-mail or letter as a gentle reminder that you have a schedule for a reason and that it is not in the children's best interests to observe her in such an unstable, aggressive state. The next time this happens you will be forced to call the police as it is creating an uncomfortable atmosphere for the children and everyone else around.
          spoke to her. only thing on her mind was to get her hands on child and take child home with her.

          agree with you 100% but hope it doesnt happen again. she had lost her mind.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by kate331 View Post
            Could it be that its a Holiday weekend? Emotions tend to run higher during holiday. I wouldnt call the cops as it may cause stress for the child(ren). This must have been stressful enough for the child(ren) let alone being embarrassing for the guests.
            yes. it was because it was Thanksgiving.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post
              What is the scheduled parenting? Were you withholding?
              I am every other weekend. I was given the weekend as makeup for a prior holiday weekend that I was denied access on.

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              • #8
                I would have called the police for sure. That stuff is gold when it comes to getting custody.

                "Your honour, I have a police report detailing how ex is a raving lunatic"

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by tunnelight View Post
                  I am every other weekend. I was given the weekend as makeup for a prior holiday weekend that I was denied access on.


                  Was it agreed that you would keep the child all weekend or was it expected you would only have Fri-Sun as per the regular weekend schedule?

                  Either way her behaviour was unacceptable and you should follow up with an email outlining how you do not agree with her behaviour and request that she does not enter your property.


                  Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Janus View Post
                    I would have called the police for sure. That stuff is gold when it comes to getting custody.

                    "Your honour, I have a police report detailing how ex is a raving lunatic"
                    Police would have definitly assisted in documenting her behaviour. I know she tried to get the police involved but they basically told her she is SOL and that it is a civil matter. Her behvaiour of course, causing a disturbance and trespessing was criminal and I could have gotten the police involved to investigate. However, our child has seen enough of the police and I really felt getting the police involved would make it an unforgettable event for our child and adversely effect the child.

                    lawyers advice is consistent to what I am hearing here, It would seem your advice is singled out. Would like to hear from other posters too and different views.

                    Just as an update, other parent is now raving my SMS calling me names and alleging to me child was crying and I didn't let the child see her mom and that I am terrible parent for doing that. Longside bunch of other utter nonsense such allegations that I was not communicating to her about child's health and medication (which is also false as everything she needed to know was thoroughly communicated by text / email)

                    any suggestions as how to best put this before the OCL ?I have something drafted but would like to hear more from seasoned separated parents on this site.

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