My stbx picks up the kids for two overnights. I've asked him repeatedly to simply pick a time that works for him and stick to it for the consistency of the kids' schedule. He likes to text me in the afternoon of pick up day and says "I will be there in two hours." It makes it hard to arrange work and child care as it is rarely the same time each week. I asked him repeatedly to give me 24 hours email notice of his arrival time. For a while he refused but does now. That still isn't working. I need a time (ie. 5 pm) so I can plan for the kids' care.
Of course, traffic, etc. happens and I've asked him to simply call if he will be late. He comes from another city.
He refuses to have a consistent time. I emailed him ahead of time letting him know when I worked yesterday and to confirm his chosen pick up time of 10 am. I asked him to let me know in the morning if he would be late due to weather, etc so I could make arrangements for the babysitter if needed. He said he would be there.
I called him at 12 pm, he said he was almost there. At 15 minutes before my shift started, he still wasn't there. I packed the kids into my car and drove to my work. (It is not appropriate to have the kids there, I was just going to talk to my boss to rearrange my shift.) After I had left, stbx arrived at my house and then called me irrate, asking for the kids. I told him this wasn't okay and he was three hours late!! He then arrived at my work to get the kids. I did not get out of my car as he had been really yelling at me on the phone (saying I should have had the sitter come, etc.) so I did not want a scene in front of the children and in the parking lot of my employment. My job is not a "good" job and I am easily fired/easily replaced.
I arranged a different location where he picked up the kids there.
My question is, I have raised the concern about his refusal to chose a set pick up time to get the kids in my response to his court application. We have been to case conference but my lawyer did not raise the issue as there were complicated financials to get through. The next conference (is it trial management?) is set for the end of February.
So, what do I do? What is reasonable? I just want him to pick up the kids when he says he will. He seems to think myself, the kids and the sitter should be at his beck and call for whenever he wants to arrive. My emails have had no impact on his choices.
This isn't about him just being late but not scheduling the time he gets the kids and sticking to it. Funnily enough he always returns the girls perfectly on time.
Of course, traffic, etc. happens and I've asked him to simply call if he will be late. He comes from another city.
He refuses to have a consistent time. I emailed him ahead of time letting him know when I worked yesterday and to confirm his chosen pick up time of 10 am. I asked him to let me know in the morning if he would be late due to weather, etc so I could make arrangements for the babysitter if needed. He said he would be there.
I called him at 12 pm, he said he was almost there. At 15 minutes before my shift started, he still wasn't there. I packed the kids into my car and drove to my work. (It is not appropriate to have the kids there, I was just going to talk to my boss to rearrange my shift.) After I had left, stbx arrived at my house and then called me irrate, asking for the kids. I told him this wasn't okay and he was three hours late!! He then arrived at my work to get the kids. I did not get out of my car as he had been really yelling at me on the phone (saying I should have had the sitter come, etc.) so I did not want a scene in front of the children and in the parking lot of my employment. My job is not a "good" job and I am easily fired/easily replaced.
I arranged a different location where he picked up the kids there.
My question is, I have raised the concern about his refusal to chose a set pick up time to get the kids in my response to his court application. We have been to case conference but my lawyer did not raise the issue as there were complicated financials to get through. The next conference (is it trial management?) is set for the end of February.
So, what do I do? What is reasonable? I just want him to pick up the kids when he says he will. He seems to think myself, the kids and the sitter should be at his beck and call for whenever he wants to arrive. My emails have had no impact on his choices.
This isn't about him just being late but not scheduling the time he gets the kids and sticking to it. Funnily enough he always returns the girls perfectly on time.
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