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  • Going back to school

    I was with my spouse for 17 years. Met him when I was 24. I never went back to school to finish my degree and he discouraged me to go back during our marriage and we got into having a family etc. I had spoken to him about going back a year prior to separation and he was dead set against it as he believed that my place was at home looking after the kids and that I didn't need to make more money then I did. He has of course flourished in his career as a result of my being home to take care of everything in our lives.

    Well he has left. Wants me to go back to some sort of work so he doesn't have to pay as much spousal support. I don't work but have only been out of the work force for 3 years and I want to go back to school and get some sort of designation.

    My question is, can I legally get him to pay for schooling or retraining or at least career counselling? Or is that a negotiated factor reliant on his generousity and good will of which there is neither?

    My other question is, if I did get some sort of job is my pay then deducted $ for $ off the spousal?

    Also, he wants the spousal to be cut off if I repartner. Is that the case? How long do I have to live common law for it to be considered repartnered?

    Thank you

  • #2
    personally I am not sure what the courts would say about the schooling part and him having to pay for it...I myself wouldn't want a darn thing from him, wipe my hands clean if I could possibly do that...sometimes I know you can't...if you repartner my question is why would you expect your ex to support you?? I am sorry but I just find that to be greedy considering the fact that you have moved on with your life and now have someone else, now c/s is something all together different if your children are still of age to receive it...sorry if I sound cruel but I have lived enough and married enough not to take my ex's to the cleaners...so it didnt' work out...move on and get yourself happy that is # 1

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    • #3
      Well, that was blunt. Just to clear up a few things though. He left me for another woman and trying to take everything he can from me including stealing my only good jewellery and giving it to her. I do not have someone in my life as you insinuated but I think a marriage of 17 years deserves more than a couple of years if I do meet someone of payback. I am having to go back to work at a low paying job because of my lack of education while I had supported him through his career for years. Education he would not allow me to persue while we were together.

      I'm just asking a few questions here. Don't judge me. You know nothing of the hell he's put me and my children through.

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      • #4
        Hey Hon,

        I commend you for wanting to retrain and be self sufficient. Don't let anyone put you down for trying to better yourself.

        You go girl, you can do it. I can relate to the hell. Through adversity comes strength. It's baby steps, one foot forward at a time, sometimes two steps back with our court system.

        Wishing you the best.
        Grace

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        • #5
          twiceseparated,

          I do suspect you would be entitled to spousal support with consideration to the facts.

          My question is, can I legally get him to pay for schooling or retraining or at least career counseling? Or is that a negotiated factor reliant on his generosity and good will of which there is neither?
          Yes; You could request a lump sum form of spousal support if no relief has been granted under net equalization.

          My other question is, if I did get some sort of job is my pay then deducted $ for $ off the spousal?
          More courts are referring to the spousal support advisory guidelines when determining quantum and duration. A copy of same can be found here.

          http://justice.gc.ca/en/dept/pub/spo...idelines_e.pdf

          Apply the formulas as listed in the guidelines to give you an idea of the quantum and duration.

          Also, he wants the spousal to be cut off if I re partner. Is that the case? How long do I have to live common law for it to be considered re partnered?
          "Re partnered" is an ambiguous term. Generally, common law status for support purposes is defined as living three years continuously or living together in a permanent relationship and have a child together.

          lv

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