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Ex still under the "child only has one home" mentality apparently

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  • Ex still under the "child only has one home" mentality apparently

    Ex asked a few days ago, if I could pickup and do the driving for D6 to go to a birthday party out of town, during her weekend. One of D6's little school mates. (Mom and her bf, don't have vehicles, or drive). I said I would check my schedule when I got home that night, and I should know then. Probably can.

    Mom gave me the invite. Part of the invite, is a "liability" form, for kids activity. example. Do they have permission, can you child partake, etc. Mom says "there is a form that needs filling out, on the invite". I take that as, then I should fill it out, since she pointed this out.

    I get home, check my schedule, schedule works for me- so send ex email to confirm I can take D6 to party and back to ex's place for her, and will return form next morning for her.
    Next morning, I give ex the liability form back, cause it's needed for party.

    Day of party arrives. I pickup D6 as planned, and drive her to party/facility. Go to hand in her form, and facility questions me on form info. (I never thought to even look at form again, as it was folded up when ex handed it back to me at pickup, and I already filled the friggin form out).

    Of course, the facility was questioning the form, because upon inspection, ex scratched out all of my identifying info/address on the permission/liability form, and wrote her's all over it. wtf? Of course, it was inelligible, because of this. Anyway, I just had to tell facility, "sigh. don't ask...", and we simply filled out a new form for D6. Because I was dropping her off/picking her up, they took my info.

    It will never change with her.

    D6 had good time at birthday party, so that is good.

  • #2
    I feel you there.

    My child's mother constantly tries to make out that everything is her address and that she is the primary parent. She still thinks of herself as a sole custodial parent. Thankfully most situations it doesn't matter.

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    • #3
      My husband's ex refers to her house as "their home" and our house as *insert my name*'s home.

      She inserts "primary parent", "primary caregiver" and "primary residence" on paperwork. Even when the forms do not even ask or allude to that.

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      • #4
        I hear you. It's sad and cruel to make a child think that one parent is more important than the other. My ex tries to bribe my 4 year old daughter with a toy or "present" for coming back to her and always refers to her place as her home and mine as "daddy's apartment". It's taking a tole on her, as we do have 50/50 shared custody/access, that my daughter is under the allusion that she only "visits" me and does not in fact live with me half the time too. I wish there were penalties for parents who try to brainwash their children's mind at such a young age.

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        • #5
          I found it odd (though, I really shouldn't, considering how she is), that she would still go to such effort after all this time, to even re-write over a form, for a one-off birthday party event, for a facility that neither of us have any connection to, nor probably ever will.

          It's mental, really.

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          • #6
            Control. Simply that. Remember it always. Anything that they perceive as taking any element of control away from them will trigger it.

            If the situation comes up again (anything similar) just keep the forms with you until you drop them off. Then supply it to the facility. What your ex doesnt get is the form was provided for an emergency contact if anything happens. If the facility only had her contact info, would she have driven over to get child? No because she doesnt drive. Yet she doesnt comprehend that, she only sees that you are taking control away from her.

            You know its ridiculous. We know its ridiculous. Reasonable rational people know its ridiculous. She sees it as normal.

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            • #7
              Same kind of situation here. You should see what my ex pulled when workshops for autism started falling on my weekends and I wanted to participate and take him.

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              • #8
                My ex got a nervous breakdown once because when I filled out the form I put my details in the first place and hers in the second. )) Reading her email after that I felt 10% sorry for her, 60% amusement and 30% happiness. Burning up the enemy's resources (time and money) and breaking them mentally with such a little effort as filling out a form is good.

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                • #9
                  She can write whatever she wants dad2......it wont make any difference in the near future. I just think she is plain stupid

                  Bithunter....sorry but i couldn't help but LOL at nervous breakdown for not being first contact on the list Hahahahaha

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