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  • Mediation

    Well, today was the day I decided that my x husband and I need mediation. As some of you have been reading me threads, you know a little about what is going on.
    I am going for full physical care and control of my children. I have nottold my children what is going on,because I don't believe getting them involve until the situation is done. They do not need to be worried about anything.
    Well today I picked up my kids for lunch from school and was talking to my son's teacher. His teacher invited him into the conversation on what they did in the morning and when he saw me the first thing that came out of his mouth was" Mom I know your secret, You are trying to take me away from Dad" My mouth dropped and as well as the teacher. My daughter was mad at me she did not want to talk to me, she called me liar. The reason why she called me a liar is because last week was my x's week and he told me at 8:30 in the morning he drop off child support and told me he was going out town and his mom was watching the children and asked if I could help his mom out by picking them up for lunch and after school I said no problem, but I am unavailable at night this week with meetings. He phone me an hour before my meeting and told me that his mom has things to do tonight could you take the kids, I said no, I told you this morning i have meetings all week.
    Anyways, Kayla says to me you lied to me when you said we could not come over because you had meeetings and you did not have meetings, I said who told you that I did not have meetings, my daughter tells me that my x's friend which is female told my dad that she saw your car home every night. I could not believe what she told, I told her I did have meetings and they went past your bedtime so it was to late for you to come over to my house on a school night. I was ready to explode. My children do not need to be in the middle, he is hurting them by telling them this stuff. I went to today and asked about mediation and she offered it to me and asked if my x would join and all I could say is you can call and ask him. I believe mediation is what I need, so that I can ask him what he is doing to our children

  • #2
    Stressful,

    Involving children in the parential affairs is wrong of your ex. Document this. You apparently already have a witness, ie: the teacher. Courts do not condone this type of behaviour. Children have enough stress.

    LV

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    • #3
      Hi Stressful:

      I am a bit confused by how the mediation is going to occur - what is the teacher's role in all of this? Just wondering..

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      • #4
        The teacher and I where having a conversation about my son and he joined into the conversation by starting the conversation "I know you secret mom, you are trying to take me away from dad",how did my son know that when I have not told my children anything about what is going on. I am tired of my x telling the children what is going on they do not need to know anything, they have enough to deal with in their little lives. I am going to mediation to talk to my x husband asking why he is doing this the our children and put everything on the table.

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        • #5
          The dissolve of any family unit is stressful for everyone. Obviously no matter how hard you try to not involve your children, they will be affected. Additionally, how and what can be shared with any child depends on their age and developmental ability...the uncertainty of not knowing and having no sense of control or input can also be detrimental. This is all compounded when you feel you are being undermined by the other parent.

          In my experience, I attended a separation and divorce class for parents (he did not and has no to the best of my knowledge) as well as initiated family counselling. I have been very clear that it is ok to talk to someone as we all need to "let it out". I have also acknowledged the fact that their father and I have been trying to negotiate some adult issues but have been unable to agree. I make every effort to have a counselling session after some 'big' event occurs, so that a qualified independent 3rd party can assist with decisions and situations (that they may have some say in) as well as document that my main priority has and always will be the care and welfare of my 3 children.

          I have tried to keep my emotions in check and find when some statement is said or overheard (or posted on their Facebook pg), I reply with something like "hmmmmm...that is interesting. I am not sure why you think that, but I bet that makes you feel _________. Do you have any questions, or what do you think?"

          Hope this helps & good luck

          Comment

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