Okay so the ex has served me papers and my lawyer is responding. She is asking for sole custody and I am asking for joint. My lawyer has basically indicated that status quo means it's pretty much impossible for me to get sole custody, as they live with her. She has also stated that I'm very unlikely to be given joint custody, given that the ex and I don't see eye to eye on some issues and she seems increasingly less willing to work with me in a constructive, adult fashion.
The problem this leaves me with is that - assuming we can't get the ex to concede joint custody in negotiations - I would have to either accept her having sole custody or fight it out in the courts. My gut instinct as a father is to fight to the last breath, especially as my ex has a criminal record and history of emotional and, I would argue, mental instability. I could live with her having custodial as long as I had joint custody, as it would give me a little more power to minimize damage to the kids in the event she took another trip to Crazyville.
The problem of course is that I'm not rich. A long custody battle could set me back tens of thousands of dollars that I don't have. If I fail, which seems likely, I could be ding'd for her legal costs as well. The ex doesn't work and so any financial stability or opportunity the kids are going to have will be from me. I guess I just don't know if I can afford to risk financial ruin in that kind of situation... but at the same time I fear that conceding her sole custody will come back to bite me in the butt at a later date.
I guess my questions are as follows:
1) Are my odds really that bad in court, re: custody?
2) Will conceding sole custody look bad on me if I'm forced to take her back to court in the future?
3) Are there any specific amendments or restrictions to custody that I should be asking for if we do concede sole custody?
The problem this leaves me with is that - assuming we can't get the ex to concede joint custody in negotiations - I would have to either accept her having sole custody or fight it out in the courts. My gut instinct as a father is to fight to the last breath, especially as my ex has a criminal record and history of emotional and, I would argue, mental instability. I could live with her having custodial as long as I had joint custody, as it would give me a little more power to minimize damage to the kids in the event she took another trip to Crazyville.
The problem of course is that I'm not rich. A long custody battle could set me back tens of thousands of dollars that I don't have. If I fail, which seems likely, I could be ding'd for her legal costs as well. The ex doesn't work and so any financial stability or opportunity the kids are going to have will be from me. I guess I just don't know if I can afford to risk financial ruin in that kind of situation... but at the same time I fear that conceding her sole custody will come back to bite me in the butt at a later date.
I guess my questions are as follows:
1) Are my odds really that bad in court, re: custody?
2) Will conceding sole custody look bad on me if I'm forced to take her back to court in the future?
3) Are there any specific amendments or restrictions to custody that I should be asking for if we do concede sole custody?
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