Matrimonial Home question regarding mortagage payments after spouse moved out

[stripes]

Some of the advice you've received is correct; most of it is wrong.

Frankly, I'd make an appointment with your banker and let them know there is a separation in the works; and you will not be making any mortgage payments for the next few months. They won't power of sale for at least 4 - 6 months so you've got time to deal with the discussion/sale of mat home if necessary.

That is excellent advice. Most banks will work with you to arrange a "mortgage holiday" of a couple of months, if they are aware that a separation (or other expensive life event) is in progress. They don't want to foreclose on you any more than you want to be foreclosed on.

If you would have to use RRSPs to either buy your ex out or to make monthly mortgage payments, you probably can't afford the house. Perhaps you should start thinking about selling it.

[arabian]

I'll throw my 2 cents in...

Do you have a lawyer? Might be a good idea to get some good solid legal advice as you can see there are many different opinions on what you should and shouldn't do. Many people on here offer advice based on their own personal experiences.

I would 'walk before you learn how to run.' Check with your employment benefit package and see if you have any free legal advice. Many people don't look closely at their plans to see if they have any coverage.

I would recommend that you carefully prepare a monthly budget outlining ALL of your expenses. Your soon to be ex will be advised by his lawyer to do the same thing. It is a starting point.

Take it one step at a time. You will need to prepare a concise financial summary of your situation for a lawyer and/or a banker.

There is plenty of good advice on what to do and what not to do on this forum. You have to weigh the information as it relates to your own personal situation.

[Tawanda]

Thanks everyone. I like the idea of taking a short break off mortgage payments, if my mortgage broker will allow us to do that.

I do have a lawyer but she has not made it very clear what I should be doing now, before we have our separation agreement in place. I am going to try to get some more legal advice on this matter.

[FB_]

Thanks everyone. I like the idea of taking a short break off mortgage payments, if my mortgage broker will allow us to do that.

I do have a lawyer but she has not made it very clear what I should be doing now, before we have our separation agreement in place. I am going to try to get some more legal advice on this matter.

Just be aware that you will continue to accumulate interest during the time you are not making payments.

My ex had all these plans to buy me out of our house and I went along with it. Turns out the bank wouldn't approve her. We spent months working on something that wasn't even possible.

Unfortunately for my ex her pension was worth 3x mine. This meant in order to buy me out of the house she owed me almost $79,000.00

If I bought her out of the house she owed me $2100.00 again all because of her massive pension.

If you have not done a pension assessment start that process now it takes a long time and can have a drastic affect on equalization.

Again as others have said the first thing you need to do if you want to keep the house is get pre-approved on your own. Most banks won't even allow you to use child support as income. You would have to qualify on your own. It's a very easy process. You can contact any broker and ask to be pre-approved. You either will or you won't. There is no point planning on doing something that is not even a possibility.

[Tawanda]

Thanks FB. I have been doing a lot of thinking about this and I am guessing it is most feasible for me to sell the house. I am speaking to a budget planner next week to see if it's even a remote possibility that I could keep the house. I do like your idea of going to a bank to see if I would be pre-approved for a mortgage based on my salary. My guess is that my salary alone would not be enough to get approved for. I had emailed my mortgage broker a while back to get an idea of whether I could afford to keep the house, and he told me that he couldn't do anything until we had our separation agreement in place to show him.

I do have to get started on the pension assessment, I will start that right away as I heard it is a lot of work.

I just emailed my lawyer a whole bunch of questions regarding how much support I should be receiving from my H now

Right now what I am concerned about most is being able to afford the current matrimonial home expenses, (mortgage, utilities, living expenses). As, by default I am left in this house and I need to figure out a way to make it work!! I almost wish I had been the one to move out, even though he left me. Just simply due to the fact that right now he is paying the lower rent!

[FB_]

Thanks FB. I have been doing a lot of thinking about this and I am guessing it is most feasible for me to sell the house. I am speaking to a budget planner next week to see if it's even a remote possibility that I could keep the house. I do like your idea of going to a bank to see if I would be pre-approved for a mortgage based on my salary. My guess is that my salary alone would not be enough to get approved for. I had emailed my mortgage broker a while back to get an idea of whether I could afford to keep the house, and he told me that he couldn't do anything until we had our separation agreement in place to show him.

I do have to get started on the pension assessment, I will start that right away as I heard it is a lot of work.

I just emailed my lawyer a whole bunch of questions regarding how much support I should be receiving from my H now

Right now what I am concerned about most is being able to afford the current matrimonial home expenses, (mortgage, utilities, living expenses). As, by default I am left in this house and I need to figure out a way to make it work!! I almost wish I had been the one to move out, even though he left me. Just simply due to the fact that right now he is paying the lower rent!

The reason the agent told you that is because they there is so much uncertainty with income and expenses. Get a pre-approval based on the assumption that you have no CS or SS and you pay no CS or SS. Just get it based on your income. That will give you an idea of what you truly can afford.

I would also advise you get a couple agents in to evaluate your property. Now is the PRIME time to list the house. This should be a process that both of you are involved in because you can't sell the house without the other unless you have a court order. You can get that process started and go from there.

Again be cautious of what your lawyer tells you about support. My ex's lawyer told her to expect around $2000 / month in support as she told her High Spousal and Full Child support when a whole bunch of things hadn't been settled including custody and access. She ended up with $500 / month. You can determine the CS on your own based on the table amounts and set-off CS. Getting Spousal support unless he agrees could be costly.

[Tawanda]

Thanks FB.

Also, I am wondering if I should have all of the bills/utilities of the house transferred over to my name or not? Right now they are all in his name only. Should I change it or leave it be? Are there any reasons why I should NOT change it?

thanks.
T.

[Berner_Faith]

Thanks FB.

Also, I am wondering if I should have all of the bills/utilities of the house transferred over to my name or not? Right now they are all in his name only. Should I change it or leave it be? Are there any reasons why I should NOT change it?

thanks.
T.

I would suggest getting the bill put in your name. If everything is in his name, he can cut them off at any time. If you put them in your name, he cannot hold that over your head.

[Tawanda]

I am also guessing that it will have to be him who transfers it over to my name, since he is the account holder? Arg.

[FB_]

I would suggest getting the bill put in your name. If everything is in his name, he can cut them off at any time. If you put them in your name, he cannot hold that over your head.

This all has to go with your plan. If you plan on selling I wouldn't do it wasted effort IMO. If you plan on staying for any length of time yes I would do it now.

[Tawanda]

Ok, Thanks again everyone!

[Berner_Faith]

This all has to go with your plan. If you plan on selling I wouldn't do it wasted effort IMO. If you plan on staying for any length of time yes I would do it now.

I agree, but isn't something that is widely suggested on this site about cutting off any unnecessary bills. If these bills are in his name and he is not living there, he can cancel at any time. If you can live without internet, phone, cable and whatever else, it may not be a big deal, but if you rely on these items, it would be best to get them switched and not have the ex have control of those items. Same goes with cell phones, if you have a joint account, who ever is the primary can call and have the other removed at any time.

[Tawanda]

I'm not really worried about him cutting off the hydro or gas or anything like that he would never do that. And if he were to, hypothetically, that would hurt his own case pretty bad I imagine. Plus, his kids live with me half of the time. So that would be really dumb of him.

Maybe leaving it under his name is a good thing, because if the bills weren't paid, (for whatever reason), then the bad credit would go under his name.

[HammerDad]

He should be cancelling all utilities in his name at your residence. All means all.

He should give you 30 days notice that he is cancelling all utilities and that you should set up your own. So long as he gives reasonable notice to you of what he is doing, it won't look bad on him. If he's given reasonable notice, and you don't get around to setting up your own accounts in a timely fashion, that is your fault, not his.

The reason he should be cancelling everything is that it is his name that has to pay the bill. Should you rack up costs in the house and refuse to pay, it is him the collectors will chase. He shouldn't be responsible for things that are out of his control.

[Tawanda]

Ok thanks Hammerdad!