I am inquiring on behalf of someone very close to me who is about to start separation process. I will try to relay all relevant details since I want opinions and experience of people that have been through this and might help to start this process with least of mistakes and aggravation for all involved.
-Married for 15 years (ages slightly over 50)
-One child 13 y.o.
-Husband very controlling (income around 125,000), but she doesn't know for sure.
-Wife was stay at home mom until about 3 y.ago (income around 22,000)
-No marital property or assets (just maybe a new tv )
-She does not know the extent of debt since husband has never disclosed it or discussed it with her. She just recently with my help applied for credit and her own bank account to start building her own history. She does not expect him to pay it (or half) after the separation.
-She is not aware of any financial investments that he may have, nor does she know if and what he has in bank accounts or how many there are.
Here is a little break down on the relationship:
He was adamant about her staying home. She does not have canadian education, but always wanted to pursue one. He was against that.
Financially he only gave 100 cash per months for her personal spendings, anything more she would have to explain what she needed it for and then maybe he will give her the extra $s. Later, he gave her a credit card with her name on it but just as a card holder not joint. She was again only allowed to spend 100 on it, but this way at least he would know how that 100 was spent.
When the kid got a bit older and went to school full time, she said f*** it and took a course. It all had to be done on her time since he would not tolerate any extended daycare or anything.
Now she is working, but the above last sentence again applies.
There is obviously a lot more to this, but this is just a VERY general description.
So here is what I want to know:
-What are her 1st steps in starting this.
-How will she know what to ask for when she does not know how much he makes.
-If he has debt will she be responsible for it too? (she is not allowed to open any statements/letters so she really does not know)
-Should she ask for ss?
-She does not plan to take away his parenting rights, and is fine with joint or whatever, but does not want to stay at their residence once she serves him the separation agreement.
-The kid goes to private school and seriously involved with soccer (father's wish/ passion), so she wants to make sure that he will not stop those things just out of spite.
-She is afraid that she has no means to live at pension time. Does she have any right to a part of his pension? He claims not to have rrsp or other.
Again those are just some questions that I could think about. Any additional info that I did not think to ask is welcome. Any questions to clarify are welcome.
Please understand that I am doing a research for her and I am more familiar with fam law through this great site. Therefore, some of what I asked, she might not even know or understand. And I don't want to be her only informant since i am not a professional in this matters. So a variety of opinions is beneficial.
Thanks
-Married for 15 years (ages slightly over 50)
-One child 13 y.o.
-Husband very controlling (income around 125,000), but she doesn't know for sure.
-Wife was stay at home mom until about 3 y.ago (income around 22,000)
-No marital property or assets (just maybe a new tv )
-She does not know the extent of debt since husband has never disclosed it or discussed it with her. She just recently with my help applied for credit and her own bank account to start building her own history. She does not expect him to pay it (or half) after the separation.
-She is not aware of any financial investments that he may have, nor does she know if and what he has in bank accounts or how many there are.
Here is a little break down on the relationship:
He was adamant about her staying home. She does not have canadian education, but always wanted to pursue one. He was against that.
Financially he only gave 100 cash per months for her personal spendings, anything more she would have to explain what she needed it for and then maybe he will give her the extra $s. Later, he gave her a credit card with her name on it but just as a card holder not joint. She was again only allowed to spend 100 on it, but this way at least he would know how that 100 was spent.
When the kid got a bit older and went to school full time, she said f*** it and took a course. It all had to be done on her time since he would not tolerate any extended daycare or anything.
Now she is working, but the above last sentence again applies.
There is obviously a lot more to this, but this is just a VERY general description.
So here is what I want to know:
-What are her 1st steps in starting this.
-How will she know what to ask for when she does not know how much he makes.
-If he has debt will she be responsible for it too? (she is not allowed to open any statements/letters so she really does not know)
-Should she ask for ss?
-She does not plan to take away his parenting rights, and is fine with joint or whatever, but does not want to stay at their residence once she serves him the separation agreement.
-The kid goes to private school and seriously involved with soccer (father's wish/ passion), so she wants to make sure that he will not stop those things just out of spite.
-She is afraid that she has no means to live at pension time. Does she have any right to a part of his pension? He claims not to have rrsp or other.
Again those are just some questions that I could think about. Any additional info that I did not think to ask is welcome. Any questions to clarify are welcome.
Please understand that I am doing a research for her and I am more familiar with fam law through this great site. Therefore, some of what I asked, she might not even know or understand. And I don't want to be her only informant since i am not a professional in this matters. So a variety of opinions is beneficial.
Thanks
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