Hello:
I have been the sole custodian of my 11 yr old daughter for 5 yrs. Her father lives 1.5 hours away. He sees her 4 days a month and 2 wks in the summer( 9 wks a year total).
My husband has a huge promotion to London, UK to Lieutenant Commander working for Nato, HQ. This is a 1 yr post. We have a son together. I am a stay at home mom and will continue to be that if I get to move to London with him and the kids. My ex does not want me to take her ( I totally and not COLD HEARTED and I understand why ) but, this is my new husband's career and we'll always be on the move, Ottawa for few yrs then Victoria then retirement. I know my ex loves his daughter but when it gets down to the nitty gritty. I've never missed a parent teacher in 5 yrs and he's never made it to even one of them. She sees her grandparents and extended family about 2-3 times a yr. They all live away from us. I have proposed to him that we'll pay for all flights and he can still see her 9 wks out of the year, this will mean mostly all summer, xmass, march break, etc this is also the time she will visit with her grandparents. Also, web cam, calls, etc. He has lived 1.5 hours away and has never made it up on his extra days off during the month. I have allowed more access and he's not taken it. yes it's far but he can make it up to coach his hockey games, etc. and travel for that! He works shift work 12 hours rotation 6am-6pm and then 6pm-6am. Since he is the head coach for hockey he is gone a lot the nights he is off and she if left with his fiancee or her older kids to babysit my daughter.
I think this move is great for her to experience a new culture, the world, have full access to me since i'm 100% available. She will still see her dad the same amount of time just scheduled differently.
My daughter has a strong relationship with her step dad and our 4 yr old son. We have a strong family , non-drinkers, logical, no hidden secret parents..
My ex is going to try to stop me from taking her. What are my odds? If I don't take her to the UK then I will only have to take her in another 18 months to Ottawa. Either way she is going to have to get used to seeing him via summers and holidays. I will not give up custody of her to him. That means that the courts either make me stay but that will also mean I'll have to stay for many years away from my current husband while he gets posted. Is that also realistic to ask that he be away from us and his son while he finished off his naval career? Is it realistic for us as a family to be apart for many years, won't that eventually do damage to our family? If I provide the same access to her dad and keep her standard of living high and quality and love, shouldn't that give me a chance?
I have been the sole custodian of my 11 yr old daughter for 5 yrs. Her father lives 1.5 hours away. He sees her 4 days a month and 2 wks in the summer( 9 wks a year total).
My husband has a huge promotion to London, UK to Lieutenant Commander working for Nato, HQ. This is a 1 yr post. We have a son together. I am a stay at home mom and will continue to be that if I get to move to London with him and the kids. My ex does not want me to take her ( I totally and not COLD HEARTED and I understand why ) but, this is my new husband's career and we'll always be on the move, Ottawa for few yrs then Victoria then retirement. I know my ex loves his daughter but when it gets down to the nitty gritty. I've never missed a parent teacher in 5 yrs and he's never made it to even one of them. She sees her grandparents and extended family about 2-3 times a yr. They all live away from us. I have proposed to him that we'll pay for all flights and he can still see her 9 wks out of the year, this will mean mostly all summer, xmass, march break, etc this is also the time she will visit with her grandparents. Also, web cam, calls, etc. He has lived 1.5 hours away and has never made it up on his extra days off during the month. I have allowed more access and he's not taken it. yes it's far but he can make it up to coach his hockey games, etc. and travel for that! He works shift work 12 hours rotation 6am-6pm and then 6pm-6am. Since he is the head coach for hockey he is gone a lot the nights he is off and she if left with his fiancee or her older kids to babysit my daughter.
I think this move is great for her to experience a new culture, the world, have full access to me since i'm 100% available. She will still see her dad the same amount of time just scheduled differently.
My daughter has a strong relationship with her step dad and our 4 yr old son. We have a strong family , non-drinkers, logical, no hidden secret parents..
My ex is going to try to stop me from taking her. What are my odds? If I don't take her to the UK then I will only have to take her in another 18 months to Ottawa. Either way she is going to have to get used to seeing him via summers and holidays. I will not give up custody of her to him. That means that the courts either make me stay but that will also mean I'll have to stay for many years away from my current husband while he gets posted. Is that also realistic to ask that he be away from us and his son while he finished off his naval career? Is it realistic for us as a family to be apart for many years, won't that eventually do damage to our family? If I provide the same access to her dad and keep her standard of living high and quality and love, shouldn't that give me a chance?
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