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  • #16
    Originally posted by afraid View Post
    the police called me they wanted me to take his and her child into my care because they were taking both of them to jail she spent 24 hours in jail and him a month. they were growing plants in the basement he had the trunk of his car full of packaged pot and they had 4000$ in a safe in the house. but for weeks she kept telling me she had no money and she was having trouble paying her bills.

    just 2 months before hand child protective services said there was no danger for the kids and dropped my case go figure.
    Then why didn't you go back to them with this information?

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    • #17
      Having read your previous posts to get caught up on your situation, I see that she has already moved several times, farther away each time, that she is unemployed and doesn't pay CS or contribute to the travel costs she forces you to incur, and that she ignores the kids during visits and that they suffer while they are there.

      If she was a good mother and they enjoyed the visits, I would say do what's necessary, but you've already gone above and beyond, and there has to be a limit.

      I would suggest that you agree to keep the court ordered driving distance, to a middle location in the right direction, and that it's her responsibility to meet you there to exchange the children. If she chooses not to, that is her actions that prevent the access, not yours.

      However, you should probably also try to facilitate non-physical access. Get the kids doing phone calls and video chat, to keep that parental contact that children need. That might work better for all concerned.

      If she takes you to court, just present the past history, including any documentation about how bad the visits are. Have you got a log of the children's reactions to the visits, and what's going on?

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      • #18
        i did and they told me the children have to be in immediate danger for them to get involved but because the police were involved there was no danger for the kids. now they have moved will they start over again i don't know.

        this is a woman that can not deal with kids soon she will have 4 in the same house when the kids visit 2 new born's under the age of 1

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        • #19
          Originally posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
          Then why didn't you go back to them with this information?
          I am also curious about this.

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          • #20
            If I found out, that my childrens' other home, was busted for being a grow-op, I would put forth an immediate motion to have access reviewed, or supervised, given the situation.

            It's weird, that CAS would not have some corrective action/followup based on that...but if CAS was not aiding in this situation...I think a court would side with you (at the time), in regards to this.
            Last edited by dad2bandm; 11-08-2013, 01:07 PM. Reason: Added a thought...

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            • #21
              i have logged every time she calls and when the kids visit her. when she does call, she speaks to my younger son for less then 5 min's and my older son she doesn't speak to at all. they did skype a few times.

              she says i have no right to not drive them to her. that she has rights. but every time i do take them to her she calls me at least 4 times telling me how she cant deal with them and that her bf and the kids wont stop fighting and i might have to pick them up early. for gods sake she only has them form sat at 10 till sunday at 6 when i pick them up once a month

              and this is why i added the distance in our agreement because she keeps moving every 6 months and i never know where till after she moves when in our agreement she is suppose to give me an adreess 2 weeks before she moves

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              • #22
                Originally posted by afraid View Post
                i have logged every time she calls and when the kids visit her. when she does call, she speaks to my younger son for less then 5 min's and my older son she doesn't speak to at all. they did skype a few times.

                she says i have no right to not drive them to her. that she has rights. but every time i do take them to her she calls me at least 4 times telling me how she cant deal with them and that her bf and the kids wont stop fighting and i might have to pick them up early. for gods sake she only has them form sat at 10 till sunday at 6 when i pick them up once a month

                and this is why i added the distance in our agreement because she keeps moving every 6 months and i never know where till after she moves when in our agreement she is suppose to give me an adreess 2 weeks before she moves
                Why did you not involve the authorities when she was arrested for the grow op. Certainly that would have a bearing on access.

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                • #23
                  it looks like cas or dpj find that growing pot is not enough to take the new born away from her.it seems like even though i have custody i'm fighting a up hill battle and i have to accept that she will always be a bad mother and that once a month i'll have to worry that the kids will be ok while they are with her.

                  it is not fair to the kids that they have to deal with a mother who couldn't care less and the mental abuse they are being forced to endure every time they go over there. all because the courts think it's the right thing to do.

                  i believe in most case's it is the best for a child to have both parents a part of their life's just not in my case.

                  she has to be real bad mother when even her free legal aid lawyer quite a week after my lawyer sent all the prof i had against my ex to her office.

                  am i to sit around and let her keep breaking the agreement that the courts signed off on and hope nothing bad will happen to the kids while they are over there. it seems hopeless.

                  Comment

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