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  • Common Law Separation assistance needed.

    The relationship began on August 9th 2009 until Feburary 12th 2012.
    This is the total time we have lived together.

    We live in Ontario.
    We applied for CPP common law for tax purposes as of 2010.

    Background:

    I have no income other than Ontario Student Loans. I am a struggling masters student and I have been a student for the entire course of our relationship.

    She is a practicing dentist of 2 years, from which we were together from her student life and into her professional career.

    Question 1.

    I need some clarity in the Cohabitation section.
    Neither of us signed any documentation, other than taxes, regarding common law or cohabitation.

    Does Cohabitation begin on August 9th 2009 or does it begin when we submit CPP common law for the physical year (January 2011 file date for 2010)?

    If Cohabitation begins on August of 09', then we have been together for more than 3 years.

    Does Spousal Support (SS) come into consideration in this situation?

    Question 2.
    She claims I owe her 17,000 dollars.

    She paid for my lawyer in a vehicle accident case in 2008 (just before our cohabitation)
    She paid for my credit card balance
    She paid for part of my tuition

    I just want your legal insight as what I can do about my situation.


    That's the overall situation. Here is the immediate issue.

    In the summer of 2010 we sold my car as we were gifted another vehicle from HER family friend. she cannot drive so the car is legally licensed and owned by me. She is claiming ownership.

    please advise.




    We have discussed repayment of the debt between ourselves. As I have no income, I offered her a portion of my osap.

    My OSAP certification form to receive funding were delivered to her address as of Feb. 16th 2012.

    She is now holding the OSAP documentation for ransom and forcing me to take out a loan, so that she can receive the amount owing before she releases my documentation. I have no credit and no income, and my parents do not have financial capabilities to support me.

    please advise.


    Non-financial implications:
    I have been a victim of verbal and physical abuse. I have had anything from knives to monitors thrown at me in this relationship. Bruises which last for weeks.

    I escaped that abuse by finding it in others *escorts*
    I am currently in the process of rehabilitation with a licensed therapist/counsellor


    I believe she is Bi-polar/personality disorder. My counsellor has informed me not to contact this person, but due to the debt condition, we've been texting.

  • #2
    Can't you get OSAP to send you replacement documentation?

    I think it is reasonable that you should pay back some of what she paid you. So, let her have the car (assuming it is worth about 5k?), and make some loan (5-7K) back to her. Or if you want to be a really cheap bugger, skip the loan altogether ... she is going to have a hard time pursuing you for this.

    Forget spousal support.

    The abuse/personality disorder stuff is unfortunate, but irrelevant.

    Comment


    • #3
      You have not been co-habiting for "over 3 years." Going from Aug 09 to Feb 12 is 2 1/2 years.

      Your co-habitation date begins Aug 09.

      If she paid for some of your debts, did you have an agreement that this was a loan? Is this in writing anywhere? I absolutely don't suggest you be unethical, but if you were of the understanding that you were sharing resources and she paid for your various expenses, especially if she was working as a dentist and you were a student? You need to be more specific about these circumstances in order to get a valid opinion.

      The car registered in your name? It is your car; however it was obviously gifted to the two of you as a couple. She has legal right to half the CURRENT value.

      She has no legal right to intercept your mail and withhold it. This is a criminal offence, however you will have a hard time getting the police to act on it. If it were me, I would write her a professionally worded, impersonal, unemotional email stating that withholding your mail is a criminal offence, you expect any and all mail to be provided to you immediately, else you will be forced to swear out a criminal charge with a justice of the peace. You should not do this unless you will follow through; empty threats greatly weaken your position in any circumstance.

      Meanwhile go to the OSAP office at the school, simply explain that they sent your forms to an old address, you are not able to get your mail from that person and you need them redone.

      Your claim for spousal support is increadibly weak. You were a student when you began co-habitating, you are a student now, your circumstance hasn't changed. As well, you were not together a full three years. If, despite it being unlikely, you were to get spousal support, it would be for no more than .5 years for each year together, so it would be just over a year. However it so unlikely you would be awarded support as to be considered impossible.

      Comment


      • #4
        There is no agreement that any of the payments for my debt was a loan. We had an understanding that I would support myself with my limited resources. I did not pay rent. I contributed to some daily costs such as food and groceries. The majority of my funds went to Tuition and daily expenses.

        She is currently in possession of all of my documents, tools, equipment. I fear that she would hold other items in ransom. Should I go to the police? they will most likely require a court order.

        Comment


        • #5
          Well, Well, WEll,,, I am looking forward to Blink to comment on this post. You lived together for 2.5years, sounds like she basically supported you,,,you paid no rent, she gave you a car, she paid your credit card,she paid your lawyer,,, then you cheated on her with escorts, ( real classy and dangerous) and now you are asking about spousal support???
          If she were abusive like my x was--then you should have left like a big boy instead of living off the fat of the land-----sounds like she kicked you out----and are you surprised?
          Blink feels like after 28.5 years of marriage I am not entitled--I wonder what words of wisdom she is going to have for you.
          I am not very supportive of dentists, I was married to one,,,, I dont know if sickos choose dentistry or dentistry makes them sickos but whatever the case ,divorce, suicide and mental illness seem to be a common thread, that being said---SHE OWES YOU NOTHING,, SOUNDS LIKE YOU OWE HER.

          Comment


          • #6
            Would unjust enrichment classify in this case?

            Comment


            • #7
              Get a job---your case is more than weak-----if she has any proof for things she paid on your behalf---she will sue you,,, if I were you ,since you didnt pay one cent towards her education , nor rent, the unjust enrichment was yours,,, you would probably be in a lot more debt if she didnt cover your butt.
              Get real!!!!!!

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by momforever1956 View Post
                Get a job---your case is more than weak-----if she has any proof for things she paid on your behalf---she will sue you,,, if I were you ,since you didnt pay one cent towards her education , nor rent, the unjust enrichment was yours,,, you would probably be in a lot more debt if she didnt cover your butt.
                Get real!!!!!!
                boy and you say blink has attitude.

                Comment


                • #9
                  dude - you weren't and aren't common law. And you put nothing financially into the relationship. Count your blessings you've lived the last 2 years freeloading. Now it's time to pack up your knapsack and move on.

                  I'd be more worried about getting your mail back on track, and getting your stuff back. She's not allowed to withhold your mail.

                  I think the car is hers - it was gifted to her. Regardless of Ontario licencing requirements, if I were her, I would argue that the transfer of the licence into your name as a driver was a trust agreement only. - you held it for her in trust.

                  Your "understanding" to support yourself doesn't even qualify, if you weren't even paying a portion of rent. Unjust enrichment?? lol...

                  You should be focusing on your OSAP for your next year. Move out, get settled again, get YOUR mail! and finish your masters. But I really don't think there is any financial gain for you left in this relationship, and you should be cutting your losses.
                  Last edited by mcdreamy; 03-03-2012, 08:37 PM.
                  Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    momforever. Thank you for your comment.

                    My inquire regarding spousal support is not as what you all seem. I owe her money. I want to find out what the proceedings are if she sue's me, or takes me to court. I am not employed and still in studies, i have no means of paying.


                    Under the family law act, i am assuming that she could convict me of the following items.

                    32.8a recognize the spouse’s contribution to the relationship and the economic consequences of the relationship for the spouse

                    32.10 The obligation to provide support for a spouse exists without regard to the conduct of either spouse, but the court may in determining the amount of support have regard to a course of conduct that is so unconscionable as to constitute an obvious and gross repudiation of the relationship.

                    And also, about the unjust enrichment, could she sue me for that as well.


                    I'm not trying to sue her. I'm asking because I want to know if I'm going to be sued, what I'm going to be sued under.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      best thing for you to do is work out a payment plan with your ex for the money you owe.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        that is what we are arranging at the moment. i have been very calm and patient in identifying what i need to do to make amends. i also recognized i had problems which i did not know how to properly deal with.

                        But due to anger and broken down communications, i fear that i will one day get served.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Sorry I misunderstood.... just to back down for a minute, I know what it is to live with a stressed out mental unstable person,,,,,
                          Given your situation I dont believe it is in her best interest to sue you. Although your therapist suggests no contact, maybe with the therapist help you can write an email and discuss the items which need resolution. If she is saying you owe her 17k, you need to sit down and figure out what you feel you owe her (be fair) and propose a plan of repayment. Maybe propose that once you finish school and have an income you will commit to repay on a monthly basis a few hundred dollars or whatever is reasonable.
                          I am not sure about this but I believe that 2.5 years doesnt even qualify for common law.
                          Be as civil as you can, lord knows dealing with a nutso dentist, aint fun.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by drunkmunky View Post
                            that is what we are arranging at the moment. i have been very calm and patient in identifying what i need to do to make amends. i also recognized i had problems which i did not know how to properly deal with.

                            But due to anger and broken down communications, i fear that i will one day get served.
                            You won't. And she can't. As has been previously posted, you weren't living long enough to qualify under the fla. So she is not going to be allowed the benefit of any fla discussions either.

                            She might have a claim for the loans that she has perceived to have given you in paying off some of your debts, but if there is no proof of an actual loan, she would have a tough time arguing that in Small Claims. And that is where she would have to file - Small Claims court.

                            And you don't need to be represented for that, don't lose too much sleep. There are many self-reps in Small claims. If she has no evidence that it was a loan, she will have the burden of proof. If you had agreed that it was a loan, then you need to make some arrangements for payback.

                            Don't get attached to the car. Really, it was gifted to her and I think she has an argument on that one.

                            As said previously, focus on getting your mail back in your hands - head down to the OSAP office and change the address.
                            Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I have agreed to give back the vehicle once I am employed. I still require the vehicle for my studies as I am living with my parents, and school is 2 hours away.

                              Thanks for all of your comments. I hope that I can continue to resolve this development in a calm and rightful manor.

                              Comment

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