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  • #16
    Originally posted by MS Mom View Post
    I'm not projecting - I'm simply stating that there are a multitude of very valid reasons why people would chose to make a motion that have nothing to do with "denying dad" anything.

    It isn't "rocking the boat" or stopping dad from being able to parent. Stop projecting that as the "goal". It's offensive when it's far from the goal.
    My posts were directed specifically to the OP and her situation. If she should refuse to sign his motion (for EOWeekend access), or do a motion to eliminate access to reflect the status quo, then he can at some point use that in his battle to prove parental alientation. He wouldn't win if she can prove that she was willing to provide access, but why give him any more ammunition.

    I have no idea why that would offend you.

    Comment


    • #17
      hi ms mom you are bang on!! Exactly my fear i appreciate your input as i dont want to deny "dad" anything as well as the offset i know he is thinking if he has a written agreement that is all he would need to reduce his payments which sadly is his ultimate goal--- money.


      DadtroddenDad you have made excellent points as well which is exactly what my fears were and why i agreed to eow if somehow he turned out to be a great dad then he should be able to prove that the children would be gteatful.

      Comment


      • #18
        Hi again everyone,
        Consent order states every other weekend.
        And he is to give me 48hrs cancelation notice if anticipating cancelling his weekend.

        Here is my questions:

        1. Do i have to prove that he doesnt choose to see the children? As he does not answer emails, texts or phone calls.

        2. He does not cancel by email or by any notice he just chooses to ignore me.

        In my mind The only reason he wanted this consent order is so he could possibly offset child support into a lesser amount by pretending (lying) about parenting more.
        Control, he simply wants to control my life.

        he never responds to appointment emails, never been to any of the childrens schools or events or extra curricular activities. Has. Wage deduction notice because he doesnt voluntarily pay cs., never even asks about their schooling etc.

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by ringettteplayer View Post
          Hi again everyone,
          Consent order states every other weekend.
          And he is to give me 48hrs cancelation notice if anticipating cancelling his weekend.

          Here is my questions:

          1. Do i have to prove that he doesnt choose to see the children? As he does not answer emails, texts or phone calls.

          2. He does not cancel by email or by any notice he just chooses to ignore me.

          In my mind The only reason he wanted this consent order is so he could possibly offset child support into a lesser amount by pretending (lying) about parenting more.
          Control, he simply wants to control my life.

          he never responds to appointment emails, never been to any of the childrens schools or events or extra curricular activities. Has. Wage deduction notice because he doesnt voluntarily pay cs., never even asks about their schooling etc.
          Keep a journal faithfully, with every contact, every access. Track the emails you send to invite him. Track the times he doesn't show for access.

          What you have to do is give him ever opportunity to have access that he doesn't use.

          But I don't know why you are needing to prove it. He already has limited access. Are you trying to reduce it to zero?

          Comment


          • #20
            Ok thank you! No not at all do i want to reduce it, i am afraid of a scheme he is pulling is all. I am ensuring that I protect myself from his deceit, i am anticipating him to twist the consent order around on me.

            As I can predict in a few months he will try to say he has had the the children at his house every other weekend like the order says and therefore cs should be offset. He is strictly monetarily driven.

            Which is fine if it were true that he did in fact have the children, however he will not comply as per the consent order states written cancellation notice which therefore makes me believe he is going to try to scam my children of their support.

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by ringettteplayer View Post
              Ok thank you! No not at all do i want to reduce it, i am afraid of a scheme he is pulling is all. I am ensuring that I protect myself from his deceit, i am anticipating him to twist the consent order around on me.

              As I can predict in a few months he will try to say he has had the the children at his house every other weekend like the order says and therefore cs should be offset. He is strictly monetarily driven.

              Which is fine if it were true that he did in fact have the children, however he will not comply as per the consent order states written cancellation notice which therefore makes me believe he is going to try to scam my children of their support.
              Offset doesn't kick in until the 40% mark, and every other weekend never comes close. Still, it would be good to document, in case he asks for an increase to 40%. Why would a judge increase access if he doesn't use it in the first place? But to avoid he said/she said, keep a journal, keep offering access and document when he doesn't take advantage of it.

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
                Offset doesn't kick in until the 40% mark, and every other weekend never comes close. Still, it would be good to document, in case he asks for an increase to 40%. Why would a judge increase access if he doesn't use it in the first place? But to avoid he said/she said, keep a journal, keep offering access and document when he doesn't take advantage of it.
                DowntriddenDad is correct... offset will not happen if he only has EOW, unless he has all of summer vacation and Holiday's during the school year, which I assume is not the case.

                When he is at EOW, that really is the lowest you can go without taking his access away completely (sure you can go to one weekend a month which is still nothing). You would still receive full cs. Your cs would not change whether he exercised the EOW or he didn't exercise any of them,

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                • #23
                  Ok thanks so much (exhales)

                  no the order only stAtes eow and written 48 hour notice of anticipated cancellation.

                  2 lines thats it.

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                  • #24
                    still no sign of pop up parent! Mep can't find him either


                    no contact from him for nearly 2 months! Anyone have any suggestions as to why my lawyer won't suggest we serve a custody application?

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by ringettteplayer View Post
                      still no sign of pop up parent! Mep can't find him either


                      no contact from him for nearly 2 months! Anyone have any suggestions as to why my lawyer won't suggest we serve a custody application?
                      What purpose would it serve?

                      Do you have an urgent decision you need to make that requires his attention.

                      Let him sink himself some more.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by FB_ View Post
                        What purpose would it serve?

                        Do you have an urgent decision you need to make that requires his attention.

                        Let him sink himself some more.
                        Agreed, sometimes (most of the time) the best thing to do is nothing.
                        If I were you though, I would send an email on behalf of your child saying that a child needs her father in her life otherwise she can grow up with feelings of abandonment and other problems like "daddy-issues" and he will ultimately responsible. Word it better but he needs to understand at the end of the day that children really do need both of their parents and ther is a reason shared custody is the new favourite.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Thanks everyone! I have reached out several times with concerns of him abandoning them and his lack of compassion he doesnt respond well, it has resulted into how much of a ****** i am.

                          My question is If i wanted to move with this interim eow consent order what is the proper way? Even though the dad has very very little contact (by very little his choice) and i mean once every couple of months he requests to see the children.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by ringettteplayer View Post
                            Thanks everyone! I have reached out several times with concerns of him abandoning them and his lack of compassion he doesnt respond well, it has resulted into how much of a ****** i am.

                            My question is If i wanted to move with this interim eow consent order what is the proper way? Even though the dad has very very little contact (by very little his choice) and i mean once every couple of months he requests to see the children.
                            To be fair, if you received a message accusing you of abandoning your children and having no compassion, how would you react?

                            The best thing is to simply send an email saying that the kids would like to see him and would benefit from seeing him, and you would be happy to facilitate. You can mention that you are prepared to offer EOW.

                            Then leave it at that and leave it alone, unless and until he responds.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Yes you're absolutely correct! My apologies I did NOT say in the email he abandoned them! (but perhaps subtly implied), by the following remarks! Yes i agree if i said something as accusatory as that yes that would get the conversation off on a wrong foot for sure!! I simply emailed clearly how the children were missing him and how they look forward to seeing him and that its unfortunate that he is unable to spend more time with them and as time goes on it appears he is spending less and less time with them.....

                              Comment

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