I everyone, I am new and have a few quick questions.
First, the history : divorced for 3 years, with ongoing minor conflicts. Ex paid child support for the first year, then stopped. My lawyer and I have tried to get him to pay, but he won't. He does not share in extraordinary expenses either. (I long ago gave up on that!!)
I have been working part-time for the past 10 years, for health reasons, and to make family life easier. This was a fine arrangment when we were together. But now that we are divorced, my ex's point of view is : "If you are well enough to have the kids on a week about basis, then you should be well enough to go back to full-time work." (Thus no CS from him as our incomes would be similar.)
Last spring, he decided to not return the kids to me, claiming that I was mentally ill, and should get treated. Police and CAS were involved, as well as my family doctor. I have suffered from mild depression pretty much all my life, but it is managed and controlled. I am NOT a nut case, as stated by a formal letter by my family doctor, and by the assessment from the CAS worker. The ex was forced to return the kids.
Now, time has come to take him to court to obtain the following :
1. To have the kids on a week about basis. And to have intervention of the police should conflicts arise.
2. To let the kids go to counselling. (Ex has always refused to sign his consent).
3. To obtain child support, including arreas.
Ex wanted to postpone court date to negotiate further, I said NO, as negotiations in the past 2 years have amounted to nothing. He therefore decides to settle and my lawyer writes up a minutes of settlement containing the 3 above points.
Now, my questions :
a. My ex wants to change the wording of "no less than 40%", to "50-50". (This new term would be more accurate, but what does it change for the child support? I make about 30K less than him.) My ex also wants one of the 2 kids as his dependants, which I agree to, it's only fair.
b. My lawyer says these minutes will automatically become a court order, and the CS issue will go straight through the FRO. Is it really that simple, or will there be more time, paper work and trouble to come? (CS is about 400$ per month at the moment).
c. Will anything at all make the ex comply to sign this settlement, or is this just a tactic to stall and drag the matter further? (In other words, how serious is a "minutes of settlement"?) Can he refuse to sign? I suppose if he did, then it's back to the option of going to court?
d. My lawyers's opinion is that if I worked part-time most of my career and marriage, I should be entitled to keep doing so. Of course, no one can force me to work full-time. But what would happen to a case like mine if ex continued to refuse payment of CS?
I welcome comments, opinions, advise and even bashing. I love this forum, the good and the bad!
Thanks!
First, the history : divorced for 3 years, with ongoing minor conflicts. Ex paid child support for the first year, then stopped. My lawyer and I have tried to get him to pay, but he won't. He does not share in extraordinary expenses either. (I long ago gave up on that!!)
I have been working part-time for the past 10 years, for health reasons, and to make family life easier. This was a fine arrangment when we were together. But now that we are divorced, my ex's point of view is : "If you are well enough to have the kids on a week about basis, then you should be well enough to go back to full-time work." (Thus no CS from him as our incomes would be similar.)
Last spring, he decided to not return the kids to me, claiming that I was mentally ill, and should get treated. Police and CAS were involved, as well as my family doctor. I have suffered from mild depression pretty much all my life, but it is managed and controlled. I am NOT a nut case, as stated by a formal letter by my family doctor, and by the assessment from the CAS worker. The ex was forced to return the kids.
Now, time has come to take him to court to obtain the following :
1. To have the kids on a week about basis. And to have intervention of the police should conflicts arise.
2. To let the kids go to counselling. (Ex has always refused to sign his consent).
3. To obtain child support, including arreas.
Ex wanted to postpone court date to negotiate further, I said NO, as negotiations in the past 2 years have amounted to nothing. He therefore decides to settle and my lawyer writes up a minutes of settlement containing the 3 above points.
Now, my questions :
a. My ex wants to change the wording of "no less than 40%", to "50-50". (This new term would be more accurate, but what does it change for the child support? I make about 30K less than him.) My ex also wants one of the 2 kids as his dependants, which I agree to, it's only fair.
b. My lawyer says these minutes will automatically become a court order, and the CS issue will go straight through the FRO. Is it really that simple, or will there be more time, paper work and trouble to come? (CS is about 400$ per month at the moment).
c. Will anything at all make the ex comply to sign this settlement, or is this just a tactic to stall and drag the matter further? (In other words, how serious is a "minutes of settlement"?) Can he refuse to sign? I suppose if he did, then it's back to the option of going to court?
d. My lawyers's opinion is that if I worked part-time most of my career and marriage, I should be entitled to keep doing so. Of course, no one can force me to work full-time. But what would happen to a case like mine if ex continued to refuse payment of CS?
I welcome comments, opinions, advise and even bashing. I love this forum, the good and the bad!
Thanks!
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