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  • Where are you now?

    I realize that many probably use this site and then once life is resolved in one way or another they go on their merry (or defeated) way.

    Curiosity has me wondering as I peruse the many threads, old and new... where are they now?

    If you want to share your story of what was and where you are now I'd love to see macro picture.

    Thanks in advance.

  • #2
    Won and done! Judge acknowledged that spermdonor-cash cow as he called himself in court has to contribute to child's education and also pony up her part of DVA pension that he was claiming on her behalf. I did set a precedent, so other womem in Newfoundland do not have to go through the hell that I went through. Also retro child support in the thousands. His false accusations that she unilaterally terminated her relationship with him was shut down as well as other lies that he told. The judge reprrimanded his wife for abusing my child. All to be paid to her..I did not do this for me. My daughter is fine. my partner and i can continue to support our other children as well as foster children who have aged out to acheive their goals. Wish you all the best of luck.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by mummer1962 View Post
      Won and done! Judge acknowledged that spermdonor-cash cow as he called himself in court has to contribute to child's education and also pony up her part of DVA pension that he was claiming on her behalf. I did set a precedent, so other womem in Newfoundland do not have to go through the hell that I went through. Also retro child support in the thousands. His false accusations that she unilaterally terminated her relationship with him was shut down as well as other lies that he told. The judge reprrimanded his wife for abusing my child. All to be paid to her..I did not do this for me. My daughter is fine. my partner and i can continue to support our other children as well as foster children who have aged out to acheive their goals. Wish you all the best of luck.
      I seriously doubt that he didn't want to pay anything to her education ........ so I don't think it is a win when he more than likely was going to pay it anyhow. I also fail to see how this sets any kind of precedent .... for any women anywhere - even (and especially) in Newfoundland. I am sure that if you are getting retro child support that you will have a great vacation this summer and it has been my expeience that the court does not reprimand people who 1. have nothing to do with the situation and 2. who more than likely were not even in the court room (I know that is how it was in my case - partners that do not have anything to do with the proceedings are not allowed in the court room) ........... I'd love to hear the other side of YOUR story ...... story!

      ANd ...... you have some nerve talking about lies ....... as I said ....... YOUR story.

      Comment


      • #4
        It would appear mummers posts seem to cause quite strong reactions again and again.

        I am reminded of what I was taught a long time ago - read it, take what works for you, and leave the rest behind.

        I am quite interested in hearing about peoples experiences on a wide scale to get a feel for a personal perspective of the legal system. With that I expect to take what I read with a grain of salt as I understand everyone will be speaking from their point of view (influenced by emotion and experience).

        I really hope that this thread continues as place for some people to share an overview of their experiences of what worked, and what didn't work and their end resolve and not get usurped by drama.

        I am more interested in hearing your story neverdivorced than hearing your reaction to mummers story - no offense or anything but the thread is called where are you now?
        Last edited by karmaseeker; 06-30-2011, 11:06 PM.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by neverdivorced View Post
          I seriously doubt that he didn't want to pay anything to her education ........ so I don't think it is a win when he more than likely was going to pay it anyhow. I also fail to see how this sets any kind of precedent .... for any women anywhere - even (and especially) in Newfoundland. I am sure that if you are getting retro child support that you will have a great vacation this summer and it has been my expeience that the court does not reprimand people who 1. have nothing to do with the situation and 2. who more than likely were not even in the court room (I know that is how it was in my case - partners that do not have anything to do with the proceedings are not allowed in the court room) ........... I'd love to hear the other side of YOUR story ...... story!

          ANd ...... you have some nerve talking about lies ....... as I said ....... YOUR story.

          WOW


          bitter much? That was a very colourful attack





          Also Karmaseeker I think your thread will be an interesting read, great idea.
          Last edited by mama2bee; 07-01-2011, 02:33 AM.

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          • #6
            FYI neverdivorced...the precedent was that a disability pension is to be included in calculating child support in NEWFOUNDLAND. His ex wife is also in the process of suing the deadbeat for support so....yeah...he really intended on helping with school. AS for the reprimand. his new wife was abusive to my daughter, my child testified to that, he lied and denied..the judge wrote in the order that she believed that happened.
            Last edited by mummer1962; 07-01-2011, 10:15 AM. Reason: happy canada day

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            • #7
              Where am I now? In the separation/divorce timeline?
              Been separated since December 2001 and divorced since Feb. 2003 (yep, eight years) and ex isn't becoming more reasonable with time. He's probably becoming more UNreasonable with time. He needs to get himself a girlfriend!

              Comment


              • #8
                I would like to say that every one has their own opinion and experience, therefore, each to our own.
                Neverdivorced: I would like to say that from experience having gone through a long and lenghty family trial, making comments such as "YOU serioulsy doubt that he didn't want to pay for her education" is your opinion and very is possible, and all power to you if you have had no problem with the non custodial parents paying for the education of a child;
                (QUOTE) "who more than likely were not even in the court room (I know that is how it was in my case - partners that do not have anything to do with the proceedings are not allowed in the court room)
                -don't be so sure as every case is different and yes, even if partners that do not have anything to do with the proceedings are not allowed in the court room is FALSE. Perhaps the Judge saw something and didn't allow it but if the body of the court behave accordingly and see no reason to ask them to leave, why would they ask them to leave? I didn't mind as I had nothing to hide.

                EPONA: two years longer than you, separated in March 2001; a girlfriend doesn't always help but make the situation worse (I am not saying for everyone, but some). You know what they say: "you then have two people stiring the pot, be careful what you wish for~".

                Comment


                • #9
                  Epona and TLCRN... It's been that long and you are still in the meat grinder? Have there been any resolutions through court?

                  I struggle with the idea of being in hell for another 12 years. My partners kids are so young still. I know there will never be forgiveness between the two of them (which I totally understand) but peace in my life would be nice.

                  We are just heading down the court, assessors path, and hopefully the end resolve is a document that binds the crazy into a livable scenario.

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                  • #10
                    karmasseker, I can only speak for myself.
                    My ex and I negotiated a separation agreement via lawyers which was signed after Christmas 2002 (a year after we separated). We've been to court three times since then. Access was changed 2009 via court initiated by ex and child support has been changed twice (once initiated by me in 2010 and we agreed ! to a motion to change child support earlier this year) after I registered with FRO.
                    Earlier today, I received my third threat for 2011 that my ex will take me to court over something. I'm not permitted to initiate court action without permission from Family Court first (don't understand why).
                    @ TLCRN -- With the exception of one girlfriend, other women seem to have a ... soothing effect on my ex. :-) They occupy his attention instead of him taking out his bitterness on me (or trying to). He has an ever growing string of exes (only one ex-wife as far as I know!). One of his exes told the kids how much she was looking forward to being their new Mom. THAT got the kids upset. They loved their Mom and didn't want another. I suggested maybe she meant to say step-mom but they were most emphatic that she said Mom. That was nearly five years ago.
                    For what it's worth, HE wanted out of the marriage, yet hasn't "moved on". I enjoy the different stages of the kids growing up, but sometimes I wish they'd grow up a little faster ONLY so I don't have to deal with their father. I don't really want them to grow up faster, cause that also means I grow older faster! :-D And I mean to enjoy life as best as I can with what I've got left, cause life really is fleeting! :-)

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                    • #11
                      Settled on day one of trial in Aug of 2010. Took two years to get there...
                      April 2011 back in court as ex is asking for retro cs and reduced access too me.

                      I think it will be a life long battle - unfortunately.

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                      • #12
                        Is there anyway to end this nonsense? If there are orders made why is it people can keep going back again and again to change?

                        I can understand if there was drastic changes in circumstances. But people seem to be dragged in to court for nit picky crap. The meat grinder loves the fodder created from the unreasonable, the greedy, and the bitter. Eventually they have to throw the book at these people and say ENOUGH - no more motions!

                        I love my fiancee and his kids but I feel so disheartened at times like I am caught in a tidal wave and it sure would be nice to just get off and go back to my peaceful existence.

                        I was really hoping someone would post a story that said. It was hell. Then there was a ruling. Then life was livable and we all got on with raising our kids. We found happiness with new partners and it was worth it in the end.

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                        • #13
                          In love. Big time.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
                            In love. Big time.

                            I wish you the utmost happiness, peace, and life long togetherness.

                            Yours is a story that keeps me positive. I know you came out the other end and have something workable for your children. I think it is wonderful you have found love.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
                              In love. Big time.
                              I heard that, Brother

                              Cheers!

                              Gary

                              Comment

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