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  • Police and court order enforcement.

    Hey everyone.
    Can someone explain to me what is a "non-police enforceable court order"?

    We were denied visitation twice in a week. We involved the police yesterday and they refused any involvement as they say we have a "non-police enforceable court order". We have a Ontario Family Court order, valid and still current (new from August 2015) that is very clear on the custody schedule. The BM refused access without valid reason and with no offer of make up time as stated in our c.o.

    I believed custody/visitation could be enforced by police when a party refused as per the Children's law reform and such.

    I wanted to see if I was in the wrong before going to our lawyers and having to send another 2k away.
    Thank you all in advance!

  • #2
    Originally posted by Ottawasm View Post
    Hey everyone.
    Can someone explain to me what is a "non-police enforceable court order"?

    We were denied visitation twice in a week. We involved the police yesterday and they refused any involvement as they say we have a "non-police enforceable court order". We have a Ontario Family Court order, valid and still current (new from August 2015) that is very clear on the custody schedule. The BM refused access without valid reason and with no offer of make up time as stated in our c.o.

    I believed custody/visitation could be enforced by police when a party refused as per the Children's law reform and such.

    I wanted to see if I was in the wrong before going to our lawyers and having to send another 2k away.
    Thank you all in advance!
    Unfortunately orders are not enforceable unless they explicitly state they are. Even then, police have been known to refuse to intervene.
    It's a touchy subject with police. They are there to keep the peace, protect the public, etc. Sadly, parents are often left by the curb.

    Record the incident, establish a pattern, and then bring it to court. A judge may hold the other parent in contempt. Unlikely for 1-2 incidents, however.

    You probably wouldn't need a lawyer if you have clear documentation/evidence. An order is an order.

    Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk

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    • #3
      The mandate of the police is to protect the public, preserve public safety and keep the peace, so if no one is in danger and public order is not at risk, they won't intervene. Enforcing court orders is not part of their job, unless it overlaps with any of the above. If Mom isn't complying with an order, I think your only option would be working through the courts, possibly a contempt motion? I've heard of people who have "police enforceable" written into their orders, but that doesn't actually obligate the police to intervene if the order is not being followed.

      Comment


      • #4
        Thanks people.
        We were considering contempt of court until we did a lot of research and posted here.. we then realized how crazy difficult it is to prove somone was doing wrong willfully and such.
        We are doind research on doing a petition to enforce order first, if possible.
        We will definitely add a clause about police enforcement to the next court order since we know it will happen again and again. (Happening again right now).

        Thanks for the feedback!

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        • #5
          good call, contempt is a last resort

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          • #6
            So BM. Means birth Mother. Interesting way to refer to Mom Why the distinction in your post. Is there a SM. Aka Step Mom in the picture?

            I only thought you would need to refer to Mom as BM if she was absent. Taken off etc.

            Just an observation that referring to Mom as BM is demeaning and not necessary.

            Hard to get through a communication and build a workable relationship if you have no respect.

            That being said she is stupid not to let you Dad aka BD see your child.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Beachnana View Post
              So BM. Means birth Mother. Interesting way to refer to Mom Why the distinction in your post. Is there a SM. Aka Step Mom in the picture?

              I only thought you would need to refer to Mom as BM if she was absent. Taken off etc.

              Just an observation that referring to Mom as BM is demeaning and not necessary.

              Hard to get through a communication and build a workable relationship if you have no respect.

              That being said she is stupid not to let you Dad aka BD see your child.
              I think the poster is BDs partner. I could be wrong. I also find using the term BM or BD to be somewhat demeaning. The only reason I did here was due to the fact the OP used it.

              Comment


              • #8
                Ok that makes sense. So step back SM and let BD interact with Mom and do the pick ups until things settle down!
                Last edited by Beachnana; 02-24-2016, 06:06 PM. Reason: Left some words out.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Beachnana View Post
                  Ok that makes sense. So step back SM and let BD interact with Mom and do the pick ups until things settle down!
                  Wow. Why such a grudge?
                  BM is not demeaning at all. I am a stepmom, yes. I am civil and I respect that she is the mother and have always done so, and would never do or say anything negative about her in the presence of the child. Does that mean I respect her values and actions? Hell no.
                  You either missed something in the post or have a grudge against someone and putting in on the wrong people. This forum is meant to be helpful for users.

                  That being said in the blended family worlds we all refer to BMs, BDs, SMs and SDs and none of these terms are mean or deminishing, they are used to make things easier to write. Also fyi I do not do pickups and such. I support my DH at 100% and seek feedback on his behalf. Court procedures, cops, drama, he deals with her, not me. Never did and never will. I'm there to support and help as all wives should. Please get informed before bashing people on forums. There's no need for hate.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Ottawasm View Post

                    That being said in the blended family worlds we all refer to BMs, BDs, SMs and SDs and none of these terms are mean or deminishing, they are used to make things easier to write. Also fyi I do not do pickups and such. I support my DH at 100% and seek feedback on his behalf. Court procedures, cops, drama, he deals with her, not me. Never did and never will. I'm there to support and help as all wives should. Please get informed before bashing people on forums. There's no need for hate.
                    There are many, many, many here who are "in the blended family worlds" and very rarely ever do we see here the term 'BM' used. Perhaps get a feel for the climate on a new site before making such sweeping statements.

                    I have been in both positions, and I can tell you that if someone referred to me as BM or bio mom when referencing my position with my own children, I WOULD be highly offended. I am Mom, Dad is Dad. Period. I am not bio mom/birth mom, I am Mom, The Mom and the only Mom. Same goes for dad. If you are an addition to my child's family as a step, your title will have the 'step' added, and mine will remain the same: Mom, and you will not diminish that for my child in such a disrespectful way by daring to refer to myself or my child's father as 'bio' or 'birth', in front of them or not.

                    I know many people in blended families who don't and would never use the terms BM and BD. it's not complicated or confusing in any way, it's Mom, Dad and the addition of Step -mom and Step-dad. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out, but it does take a respectful Step-parent to understand.

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                    • #11
                      I don't believe that anyone was hating on you. Being a supportive stepmom is one of the toughest jobs out there and you have my respect on that account. It's not easy to care for children, have part of the responsibility and have little in the way of decision making .... I can understand how frustrating it can be.

                      Having said that, sometimes "stepping back" is the best thing to do for your own sake as well as the kidlets.

                      Proving contempt of court is a waste of time IMO, courts rarely deal with it and police (laugh) could care less unless there are criminal charges involved.

                      "I wanted to see if I was in the wrong before going to our lawyers and having to send another 2k away. " Unfortunately, that's how things get settled more often than not.

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                      • #12
                        I have never known any blended families to use BM and BD. Those terms in my experience are used where an adoption has taken place and are used to reference the biological aspect. In a blended family with a dad and stepmom and a mom and stepdad I would expect mom and dad to be used and would not expect any ambiguity in those terms. My GD does not have to refer to her dad as her BD. She only has one dad. She has her moms bf who loves her and is a parental type figure, but is definitely not her dad and is not referred to as such.

                        Perhaps the idea that you may be deeply involved comes from your posts referring to we constantly as in "we were denied visitation". He was denied, you were not. I get that it's easy to get caught up in the drama and sometimes be more involved than necessary, as grandma, I have sometimes had to watch that myself, but you also have to know when to step back and let the actual parties deal with the issues.

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                        • #13
                          I have to agree. The only context where I've seen "birth mom" used is with respect to adoption, where the biological mother gave birth and then was out of the picture for good, and someone else became the legal mother. In a context where both parents are involved, it's insulting because it implies that Mom's only role is biological. I'm in "the blended family world" too, and I would never refer to my daughter's father as her "birth dad". He's Dad, I'm Mom, and our adult partners are step-whatevers.

                          Think of it this way, would you like it if Mom referred to your husband as the "sperm donor"? Probably not.

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                          • #14
                            step-parents shouldn't even have a title - they should just be referred to as partner of parent and thats it....

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                            • #15
                              I have learned that the language you use on a forum such as this often reflects how you handle things in real life. I know my own experience my language was often offensive to some of the forum members and I have learnt from that.

                              Have you consider that the situation is relatively new and Mom is feeling your pressure and your control,of the relationship between herself and her child's Dad.

                              As much as I would like to " deal with my daughter's situation" I have learnt to be her researcher and provide the information, ask the questions on the forum but now understand that it's not "us" being screwed over or "we" being in constant negotiations it's her.

                              You referring to Mom as BM comes over as someone trying to replace not support.

                              Comment

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