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  • Division of Property

    Hi folks,

    I have a question regarding division of property and the current situation I am in.

    I vacated the matrimonial home due to excessive conflict the children were exposed to, and when I attempted to gather belongings, the police told me not to remove any property and my ex changed the locks.

    Now the ex has moved and take all of the belongings except heavy furniture that I do not want.

    So essentially, the ex refused to do division of property for the last year, and now has taken almost everything. What happens to the items that were left behind? I haven't been living there for months, and was told not to take anything. Now that the ex is "done" with the items, they have been left behind.

    Who is responsible for the items left behind? Who is responsible for removing them from the matrimonial home (which is sold). As far as I know, he isn't done moving, and the locks are still changed, since the ex hasn't notified me of anything.

  • #2
    Despite what they may believe, the police do not actually make court orders. Unless your ex has exclusive possession of the house, you are free to hire a locksmith to break into the house.

    Might be worth sending an email to the ex stating the day and time that you intend to do so. If you are stopped, then you can seek legal redress. Otherwise, you can get into "I was threatened and scared when ex crawled into the house and ohmygodthehorrorthehorrorIneedarestrainingorder" type of mess.

    So, if you want the stuff, open the locks (or smash a window) and retrieve the stuff. If you do not want the stuff, then hire a company to remove the stuff (eg. 1800gotjunk) and pay for the service from the equity.

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi Janus,

      Thanks for the reply. The problem is that all of the stuff that I want, he has moved out of the matrimonial home, to his new home. So I can't break into his new home to retrieve it. He only left junk in the matrimonial home.

      If the property left behind was to get picked up by 1800gotjunk or whatnot, would that property be worth $0 on the NFP?

      The ex just left a bunch of stuff they didn't want, and I Don't want to be on the hook for a) NFP b) removal of that property. The ex is the one that has been living there.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Janus View Post
        Despite what they may believe, the police do not actually make court orders. Unless your ex has exclusive possession of the house, you are free to hire a locksmith to break into the house.

        Might be worth sending an email to the ex stating the day and time that you intend to do so. If you are stopped, then you can seek legal redress. Otherwise, you can get into "I was threatened and scared when ex crawled into the house and ohmygodthehorrorthehorrorIneedarestrainingorder" type of mess.

        So, if you want the stuff, open the locks (or smash a window) and retrieve the stuff. If you do not want the stuff, then hire a company to remove the stuff (eg. 1800gotjunk) and pay for the service from the equity.
        Actually that's what he pulled regarding the restraining order. He has been completely deranged and despicable throughout the entire process.

        Comment


        • #5
          This is good stuff.

          Note to other readers: she refuses to communicate with anything other than telephone with which she gets hostile and berates me on. She has blocked my emails and text on the basis that I "harassed" her because I tried settling this stuff long ago through written correspondence. I can't get through a conversation with her on the phone without her calling me names and telling me what I shitty father I am. She can't even control herself in front of mediators. We've been to two and she refuses to go back because it doesn't go her way (because I'm always asking for the 'fair' solutions).

          Division of property cannot be settled over the phone, especially when one party always gets hostile. I had worked on a division of property with her boyfriend back in September which I refused to sign because of being forced to remain in the home and pay 100% of the maintenance while she lives with her boyfriend and banks the equity I am putting into it. Add to that being difficult with not wanting to share the kids 50/50 by faking assaults and labeling me with anger and control issues because of 3 incidents involving broken inanimate objects and she isn't giving me much incentive to hand over money to her. So.. i refuse to sign that agreement until those things were settled. I'm not going to stand by and let her and her boyfriend walk all over me and rape me for everything I'm worth, which isn't even very much.

          The house is sold and closes in 2 weeks. Stuff needs to be moved out asap. Since she won't communicate and there is no time for squabbling, I took it upon myself to take what was mine and what I felt she didn't need since she's living with her boyfriend and has been since 4 months after separation.

          Yes, I took a bicycle that _I_ bought for her prior to marriage. I have proof of this purchase. I took the bike because 4 months ago while I was living there, she would enter the home while I was gone and start taking things. Taking her stuff and even shared stuff is fine, but she took all of my automotive tools and some other tools as well as my skateboard. She has no need for these and I'm certain it was out of spite. When she called about the bike on Saturday, I told her i would trade her back for those things. She said no. So that's that. That offer is still on the table as far as I am still concerned.

          As for the entire dining room full of furniture, living room full of furniture, sons bed and dresser, her dresser, antique furniture and many many other things I left behind for her, if she doesn't want them, the free option is to move them to the curb. Also, if she would stop refusing to communicate, which includes her not letting me talk to my kids while they are with her, she could easily just call me and tell me to remove that stuff and I will. Actually, they buyer has stated they would like some of it. If she is done taking what she wants, I can meet them at the house and they can tell me what to leave for them and what to remove. I'll remove what needs to be removed. I have no problems with this.

          I'm not looking for any fights. She just refuses to communicate about anything so I have no choice but to do what I can to move forward as fair as I can without any input from her. If she would just start communicating like a civil person, if there is something I have that she desperately wants or needs, all she has to do is ask. Odds are, I'll give it to her, and if not, she can add it to my side of the NFP. Problem is, with her, there is no negotiating. It's -do it her way- or get told to eff off and be called a piece of shit (in an elementary school hallway with my son standing there) and, if you really make her angry, she'll take the kids from me. Think I'm joking? See my thread I posted before Christmas about what she did then.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by selfrep00 View Post
            If the property left behind was to get picked up by 1800gotjunk or whatnot, would that property be worth $0 on the NFP?
            Make sure to notify ex that you consider the stuff to be junk, and that ex can pick it up.

            $0 on NFP sounds fair, regardless of who ends up with the stuff

            Comment


            • #7
              Selfrep00 who is CanadianMohawk?

              Comment


              • #8
                oh cool, just realized both parties are on the forum. This will be fun!

                Serious recommendation: You guys are about to spend more on lawyers than the stuff is worth. You are both angry. You think that the other person is being unfair. In all likelihood, both of you have done things that are horribly unfair. Negotiating via public forum isn't going to help very much. We are strangers, we don't care about you at all. I'll eventually start insulting you both because I'm callous like that.

                The stuff Mohawk took has a value. Not a high value, but a value. There will be equalization.
                The stuff that is junk has no value. It costs money to get rid of it. Both of you will pay equally to get rid of the junk.

                I think I will no longer be contributing to this thread, I'm not going to get dragged into an active fight.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I'm not angry Janus, I'm just trying to move forward in a situation where I get no feedback other than aggression from the other side. I'm totally open for negotiating the property now the the house is sold and I'm not longer on the hook for all of it. I'm just not sure how that can happen when the other side refuses to communicate and what little there is, is hostile.

                  I'd love to settle this in private. I'd also love to settle this with a mediator. I'd also like to share my children and move on with my life. You'll notice a theme with my thread if you read through them. It's fairness and equability. Yes, I moved out and took a bunch of stuff. As stated , I didn't have a choice given the state of things and am completely open to settling and giving things or trading things back.

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                  • #10
                    I'm just here for information, giving the facts of the situation.

                    Some individuals seem the need to gather the approval and support of strangers, while defaming others.

                    Thanks for your input Janus.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Fighting over furniture is small potatoes.... Its one of those things listed under "What NOT to fight about"...

                      I didn't read the post fully...

                      Just put a $ value to whatever you disagree about and then see if its worth wasting even a little bit of iota fighting over it. Otherwise just compromise somewhere in between... If you want I will pick the number and you guys can go along on your ways...

                      The cost of the damage done to your children due to the divorce is far more than a bicycle etc... Heck I will personally buy either one of you a bicycle with all the money I am saving by wrecking my ex-wife in court....

                      Small Potatoes... but this thread has high excitement potential

                      I would actually like to see you both be mature enough to put a $ value to the disagreement and I am sure it will be resolved.
                      Last edited by Links17; 02-29-2016, 03:25 PM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Links17 View Post

                        I would actually like to see you both be mature enough to put a $ value to the disagreement and I am sure it will be resolved.
                        I'm ready for settling this if she is. I was ready at the mediators as well. So far, all I've got is a call asking if I had her bike. To which I confirmed and said I'd trade back for my tools which she didn't like.

                        That's where we stand. I'll be waiting patiently for her to start working with me in some form for everything else. Not sure there was any reason for her to come straight here without first trying to work it out with me... and preferably not over the phone.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          All you do is send a written offer and if she doesn't respond reasonably if it ever goes to court you get will get costs awarded. People can refuse to negotiate, settle, discuss etc... the sanction is costs and thats it. Which is a good sanction IMO...

                          Forget phone calls, there is no paper trail there.

                          Also, you have the keys, locks etc... if anything needs to be done and she doesn't answer you just do what is required and then add it on to the "Tab" to be settled at divorce time.

                          Good thing about divorce is you don't actually need the other person to cooperate, agree or even respond to anything as long as you provide proper notice etc...

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Move on from the possessions. It's only stuff and you can always get more stuff.

                            Concentrate on your child/children and parental responsibility.

                            Comment

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