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  • #16
    Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
    Yes it's very odd that schools hold important concerts during the day, disallowing children the pleasure of having parents watch, unless they are doing some kind of shift work (in which case they may be sleeping during this time) or are on Welfare.
    Not sure if D5 is different, but she recalls the events I miss due to work.
    The above quote is precisely why I came to the support forum for a boost. It just plain sucks being the parent who can not attend because I work hard during the day. I'm not blaming ex for going .. it's good for D5. However, she is choosing not to seek FT employment as per the order, which I dont think anybody should condone in any manner.

    In any case, the post was due to a certain level of parental guilt for not being able to attend these special little events and finding ways to answer D5's questions "Why does mommy get to go and you dont"? My situation is a bit different, in that my ex didn't want D5 to have these amazing experiences..she fought it tooth and nail. It's just an interesting situation. Now I think she sees I was right .. D5 is happier than ever. When I drop her off all her friends come yelling her name, she knows all the months of the year, can count to 50 her fine/gross motor skills are improving like crazy .... and she's not hanging around babies at playgroups anymore so the baby talk has vanished.

    Ex and I are super pleased about her progress, development and pure joy she's experiencing in j/k.
    Yeah, she gushes about how awesome it is because she thinks you'll forget about her utter resistance to it only months ago.

    As for what to tell your daughter when she asks why her mum can come but you can't, it's all part of the same question about why her mother doesn't work. You tell her that most grownups work to support themselves and their families, which means they have to sometimes miss things they want to be at. Her mother has chosen not to work, so her house may not be as nice, etc, but she is able to attend the concerts you have to miss.

    The unfairness sucks, yes. You work hard, missing events with your daughter, all to enable your ex to not work and attend those events, the very same ones she fought hard to prevent.

    I hope that this EQOA week aside, you are able to take time off now and then to do things with your daughter?

    Comment


    • #17
      Originally posted by Rioe View Post
      Yeah, she gushes about how awesome it is because she thinks you'll forget about her utter resistance to it only months ago.
      It really amazes me how one can go from allegation to allegation, denials of parenting time, etc .. to this. I will truly never forget her apologizing for the false allegations in the LAO SC. Not sure my family will ever entirely recuperate. That's the problem with allegations .. people just never know what to think (i.e - Johnny Depp). But it damn near ruined my life.

      She fought so hard to keep her out of school .. now its the best thing since sliced cheese. Funny how all that works.
      I hope that this EQOA week aside, you are able to take time off now and then to do things with your daughter?
      lol .. no I can't. School officially ends June 30th. We have a ton of needs in the school and 6-7 autistic j/k's joining us in the new year. So I'm swamped making social stories, transitions, visual schedules, token boards/choice boards .. you name it.

      But luckily I get every other week in the summer. So cant wait for that.

      Enjoy this incredibly gorgeous weekend everybody!!

      LF32

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      • #18
        The key thing is that she is the same person who was alienating you 3 months ago.... There is just no more opportunity. Some people are trash, your ex is one of them and she will always be trash.....

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        • #19
          Quick question.
          Nearly every weekend ex has D5 she misses school on either the Monday or the Friday to create a long weekend in QC.

          Should this be something to be concerned about? It's only j/k right? But that's quite a bit of school missed to be in QC. Ahhhhhh. ..the joys of refusing to work ...life is a vacation.

          Thoughts?
          Last edited by LovingFather32; 06-14-2016, 03:25 PM. Reason: another addition

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          • #20
            I should also add that she missed a class trip to the splash park with all of her JK buddies

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            • #21
              Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
              Quick question.
              Nearly every weekend ex has D5 she misses school on either the Monday or the Friday to create a long weekend in QC.

              Should this be something to be concerned about? It's only j/k right? But that's quite a bit of school missed to be in QC. Ahhhhhh. ..the joys of refusing to work ...life is a vacation.

              Thoughts?
              I would not worry. When the child hits grade 1 then the Ministry of Education will take over and the laws of truancy will kick in. Parents who neglect to send, or refuses to let, their children go to school can be charged for their child’s truancy.

              Education Law - Stephen R. Biss, Barrister and Solicitor

              You don't have to address every thing the other parent does. If what the other parent is doing is impacting the child's education the school should (and will) deal with it.
              Last edited by Tayken; 06-14-2016, 04:35 PM.

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              • #22
                Ex claims she can nor find work. Shocker. Job bank, kijiji, etc is overflowing with jobs. I just picked one up to compliment my EI for the summer. She's educated and fully bilingual. Anyone run into this (paying full table CS ; 50/50 parenting) ?

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                  Ex claims she can nor find work. Shocker. Job bank, kijiji, etc is overflowing with jobs. I just picked one up to compliment my EI for the summer. She's educated and fully bilingual. Anyone run into this (paying full table CS ; 50/50 parenting) ?
                  Happens a lot. You will have to wait some time after your FINAL agreement settles to bring a new Application to have the matter reviewed.

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                  • #24
                    Make sure you make note of those jobs. My partners lawyer explained how he would argue against an unemployed person by showing a list of jobs posted and asked whether he had applied. Whenever he applied for a job we logged it and kept all the "thank you for your application" automatic responses. His lawyer said that was enough to prove he was making a good effort.

                    She would need to show her efforts like going to a job place to update her resume, provide updated resumes, list proof of all the jobs applied to etc.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                      Happens a lot. You will have to wait some time after your FINAL agreement settles to bring a new Application to have the matter reviewed.
                      Agree. I'm being pressured a tad to get in to court this summer (while I have the time) to get this resolved. It will only have been one year since the order next January. (Although they made a mistake on the final order and dated it Jan 15th/2015 instead of 2016).

                      So I would have to bring an entire new application to review her efforts on finding employment? I cant just bring a motion saying that I have 50/50 .. same child expenses she does, that something needs to be done due to financial hardship?

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                        Make sure you make note of those jobs. My partners lawyer explained how he would argue against an unemployed person by showing a list of jobs posted and asked whether he had applied. Whenever he applied for a job we logged it and kept all the "thank you for your application" automatic responses. His lawyer said that was enough to prove he was making a good effort.

                        She would need to show her efforts like going to a job place to update her resume, provide updated resumes, list proof of all the jobs applied to etc.
                        Oh, I'm sure she'll pull all the tricks to show her apparent efforts. It's just crappy to hear how she cant find any. I found one my first search. Why should I have to work 3 jobs, wiping sweat from my brow .. paying most the expenses for D5, bills piling up like crazy. Life would be perfect if it weren't for these financial woes and ex refusing to find work.

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                        • #27
                          Thats why Im saying keep a log of all of it. Jobs shes qualified for, jobs she could apply for to make an income and then just general jobs. And make note of daycare options for D4 so you can refute that too. Also make note of all the job support locations and options. That way you have an answer for all of it "I had no way of updating my resume" "I didnt see any jobs in my field" "I was worried about child care for D4" etc. Be prepared for any possible excuse she could have.

                          My partner waited in line at a job fair in the middle of August, during a heat alert day, for three hours, standing a week after abdominal surgery. He did everything to find a job and had all the proof to show for it. You can hammer her on these ridiculous excuses, you just need the proof to go against it

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                          • #28
                            Hot off the presses:

                            http://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/doc...6onsc3252.html

                            How to impute income against someone who isn't making enough. Careful detail by this judge on how to do it.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              LF:

                              I agree that imputing income is the way to go, but as far as this summer goes, try not to let thoughts of her not working get in your head too much.

                              Just think of how this summer you have 50/50 and can do lots of great activities with d5. Don't give your ex the power to disturb your peace.

                              Wishing you and your family a fabulous summer!

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Thanks Tayken. I'll give that a thorough read this evening.

                                Peaceful. Loving the 50/50 .. but when the bank account is hurting and the collector's are starting to call, the activities are limited and the headaches increase in the summer unfortunately. I'll figure it out.

                                Comment

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