Hi Guys,
I don't know if this should be here or in the Support forum but here it is.
I have 3 children, s16, d14, d10. We started out 50/50.
My s16 came to live with me full time 3 and half years ago because his mother and him were in constant conflict.
This caused a lot of problems, police involvement and general stress and anxiety.
We had OCL involved.
For the past year, my d14 has been saying that she is moving in with me full time. I have been saying no. Well yesterday on exchange day she showed up with a bag full of clothes hidden in her sports equipment and said she is not going back.
I know her mother and her fight a lot, and my daughter (and her mother, and her father for that matter lol) can be stubborn. She has told me some stories of being locked out of the house in the winter. Recently she has told me stories of being slapped across the face and thrown over a couch.
I can't call CAS because I have been through this. Children downplay the problem to CAS because they don't want to get their parents in trouble.
This is going to cause a whirlwind of problems, and we are so close to settling out of court.
So I could use some advice.
I want my children to feel secure at either parents home. There is definite benefits to having a relationship with both parents and 50/50 provides that time equally, but I don't want my daughter thinking she is not welcome here or that I don't want her here.
I will contact the OCL lawyer but my daughter is due to return to mom's before OCL will have time for a meeting.
I know this sounds like a no brainer but I would like to here some opinions.
How should I proceed? I was planning on speaking with her mother and asking her to let it go for a couple of weeks and see if things calm down but I don't anticipate that will go well. It is not in my ex's nature. She is more of a; call the police, snatch and go from the side of the road, argue with the children for hours on end, make threats, type of person.
I have forced my daughter to go back to her mothers before, she has never shown up here with all of her clothes and prized possessions packed.
I don't know if this should be here or in the Support forum but here it is.
I have 3 children, s16, d14, d10. We started out 50/50.
My s16 came to live with me full time 3 and half years ago because his mother and him were in constant conflict.
This caused a lot of problems, police involvement and general stress and anxiety.
We had OCL involved.
For the past year, my d14 has been saying that she is moving in with me full time. I have been saying no. Well yesterday on exchange day she showed up with a bag full of clothes hidden in her sports equipment and said she is not going back.
I know her mother and her fight a lot, and my daughter (and her mother, and her father for that matter lol) can be stubborn. She has told me some stories of being locked out of the house in the winter. Recently she has told me stories of being slapped across the face and thrown over a couch.
I can't call CAS because I have been through this. Children downplay the problem to CAS because they don't want to get their parents in trouble.
This is going to cause a whirlwind of problems, and we are so close to settling out of court.
So I could use some advice.
I want my children to feel secure at either parents home. There is definite benefits to having a relationship with both parents and 50/50 provides that time equally, but I don't want my daughter thinking she is not welcome here or that I don't want her here.
I will contact the OCL lawyer but my daughter is due to return to mom's before OCL will have time for a meeting.
I know this sounds like a no brainer but I would like to here some opinions.
How should I proceed? I was planning on speaking with her mother and asking her to let it go for a couple of weeks and see if things calm down but I don't anticipate that will go well. It is not in my ex's nature. She is more of a; call the police, snatch and go from the side of the road, argue with the children for hours on end, make threats, type of person.
I have forced my daughter to go back to her mothers before, she has never shown up here with all of her clothes and prized possessions packed.
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