Hi all, I wrote prev about the fact that I have been able to move 2 blocks from my 11 yr old son's school this past December. I have EOW but want to have 50/50 access. I began with the gradual change approach by having my son come home from school so insead of go to afterschool care. He may be too old for afterschool care and he is old enough to be alone at home for a few hours. My ex liked the idea originally but changed her mind I believe because it would change the status quo. (she also hates me which becomes a factor) We do not have a access order in place.
Some here on the forum advised that I should get going in terms of changing status quo. Originally her Lawyer sent me a letter advising me to stop changing his schedule unilatterally. I did not want to make my position worse so I backed off. Recently my ex decided that her plans during my shceduled weekend were more inmportant and took him after school. I was no happy called the police and got a police report but of course there was nothing I could do.
Since then I have decided that in discussion with my son if he agrees I will have him over nights on Tues and Wed and after school. Since there is no agreement in place there is nothing my ex can do either. Her lawyer of course sent threatening letters to go to court to enforce status quo if I do not return to the normal schedule.
It's nearly 2 months now with the new schedule and nothing has happened with her lawyer (yet) I'm now working towards this new 50/50 status quo. I have taken the summer months off to focus on this. My son is happy and we are able to develop a stronger relationship as I expected. My ex is still raising hell of course. She discourages him from seeing me more than EOW. She talks badly about me which is in contradiction of the Ontario Divorce Act.
Now that summer has begun my ex has suggested 1 week on one week off for the summer. The problem for me is that she does not want him to come here when he is not in camp for example but instead go to one of her friends place. the daycare/camp and her frinds are all in my area. I came here to be able to care for him. Also my son has just begun to see that I am here for him and not backing down. This would disrupt our new shcedule.
My question is: shouldn't I have a say in what he gets signed up for, daycare or otherwise and don't I have a right to care for him when his mother is not around (after camp or during the day when she is away to work) or does she get to decide? I'm like a stay at home dad for the next 3 months. Should I try to keep to the new schedule for the sake of continuity? (Barring special events this summer of course)
Some here on the forum advised that I should get going in terms of changing status quo. Originally her Lawyer sent me a letter advising me to stop changing his schedule unilatterally. I did not want to make my position worse so I backed off. Recently my ex decided that her plans during my shceduled weekend were more inmportant and took him after school. I was no happy called the police and got a police report but of course there was nothing I could do.
Since then I have decided that in discussion with my son if he agrees I will have him over nights on Tues and Wed and after school. Since there is no agreement in place there is nothing my ex can do either. Her lawyer of course sent threatening letters to go to court to enforce status quo if I do not return to the normal schedule.
It's nearly 2 months now with the new schedule and nothing has happened with her lawyer (yet) I'm now working towards this new 50/50 status quo. I have taken the summer months off to focus on this. My son is happy and we are able to develop a stronger relationship as I expected. My ex is still raising hell of course. She discourages him from seeing me more than EOW. She talks badly about me which is in contradiction of the Ontario Divorce Act.
Now that summer has begun my ex has suggested 1 week on one week off for the summer. The problem for me is that she does not want him to come here when he is not in camp for example but instead go to one of her friends place. the daycare/camp and her frinds are all in my area. I came here to be able to care for him. Also my son has just begun to see that I am here for him and not backing down. This would disrupt our new shcedule.
My question is: shouldn't I have a say in what he gets signed up for, daycare or otherwise and don't I have a right to care for him when his mother is not around (after camp or during the day when she is away to work) or does she get to decide? I'm like a stay at home dad for the next 3 months. Should I try to keep to the new schedule for the sake of continuity? (Barring special events this summer of course)
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