Hi Everybody,
I have a sticky situation about extracurricular activities. My son plays competitive soccer. I have sole custody and for the past four years have been lucky enough that his sports schedule did not interfere with visitation with his father (only the last 2 years have been competitive). As he gets older, the time commitment gets bigger, and weekend participation is required. My ex will have nothing to do with it. I've asked him to take our son to soccer for 90 minutes every second weekend and he refuses to commit. He sees it as me interfering with his time. I've offered to change visitation time to accomodate the soccer (without him losing any time), I've offered to do all the transportation, I've offered him an extra weekend to make up for the "lost" 90 minutes every 2nd weekend over the next 4 months, I've offered everything I can think of so that our son can continue participating and not get behind in development or get a reputation for being unreliable. I've also offered to switch weekends if a tournament falls on his weekend.
My son loves soccer and burst into tears when he heard when the practices were cause "daddy won't take me."
I know I have no right to schedule things on his time, but I have no control over when the practices are. And it's only going to get worse. If my son sticks with soccer, in a year or two he will be required to travel for weekends, etc.
So as far as I can see, I have 2 choices. Let my son go to visits and miss his soccer and end up hating his dad and in no time at all refuse to go to visits entirely, or make a motion to vary access to accomodate our son's schedule (right now it would only require a shift of 2 hours for pick up and drop off times - then he wouldn't have to take him, he wouldn't lose any time, and son could participate.)
It's not a matter of money at all - I pay even though we're supposed to share proportionally - but I don't care. I just want son to be able to play.
Does anyone have any experience with situations like this? I know the courts hate to deal with stuff like this, but I've literally exhausted everything else. My ex won't budge. Is there case law on this? All my searches only bring up stuff regarding paying for activities, not the ability to participate during access time.
Any thoughts, suggestions, or advice will be greatly appreciated.
I have a sticky situation about extracurricular activities. My son plays competitive soccer. I have sole custody and for the past four years have been lucky enough that his sports schedule did not interfere with visitation with his father (only the last 2 years have been competitive). As he gets older, the time commitment gets bigger, and weekend participation is required. My ex will have nothing to do with it. I've asked him to take our son to soccer for 90 minutes every second weekend and he refuses to commit. He sees it as me interfering with his time. I've offered to change visitation time to accomodate the soccer (without him losing any time), I've offered to do all the transportation, I've offered him an extra weekend to make up for the "lost" 90 minutes every 2nd weekend over the next 4 months, I've offered everything I can think of so that our son can continue participating and not get behind in development or get a reputation for being unreliable. I've also offered to switch weekends if a tournament falls on his weekend.
My son loves soccer and burst into tears when he heard when the practices were cause "daddy won't take me."
I know I have no right to schedule things on his time, but I have no control over when the practices are. And it's only going to get worse. If my son sticks with soccer, in a year or two he will be required to travel for weekends, etc.
So as far as I can see, I have 2 choices. Let my son go to visits and miss his soccer and end up hating his dad and in no time at all refuse to go to visits entirely, or make a motion to vary access to accomodate our son's schedule (right now it would only require a shift of 2 hours for pick up and drop off times - then he wouldn't have to take him, he wouldn't lose any time, and son could participate.)
It's not a matter of money at all - I pay even though we're supposed to share proportionally - but I don't care. I just want son to be able to play.
Does anyone have any experience with situations like this? I know the courts hate to deal with stuff like this, but I've literally exhausted everything else. My ex won't budge. Is there case law on this? All my searches only bring up stuff regarding paying for activities, not the ability to participate during access time.
Any thoughts, suggestions, or advice will be greatly appreciated.
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