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My 9 yr old son wants to come to my place instead of his Mom's.

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  • #46
    Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post
    You don't get to judge her as a parent, just like she doesn't get to judge you. If you posted more of your life, trust me, I could find many things that you do that I would judge harshly, as a fellow parent.

    And you seem to be taking advice from a poster who would have moved a 9 year old across the country, away from a parent, without understanding the long term ramifications or caring about the inevitable dissolution of a parental relationship.

    None of the posts so far have contained vitriole, or been harsh.. they have been honest and frank.

    If I were your ex, the moment I heard of this nonsense from you, I'd call the school and instruct bus access to only the child's primary residence - mine. That would shut down any of this kid's right of entitlement to choose where he went.

    I get where you are coming from - but I've been the parent who has always DENIED my kid... when she texts me and asks if we can fake her death so she never has to go to my ex' house again, I say NO. You have two parents, and you will be parented by two parents.

    As Tayken has already posted, if you can't parent, and if you choose to make this move, I suspect a judge will be making the decision for you - and it won't be to your benefit.
    IF you are referring to me, I will kindly ask you not to ASSume what my understanding is on, anything.

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    • #47
      Wow. Hey, it's Friday night, shouldn't we all be out partying?

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      • #48
        Originally posted by Mess View Post
        Wow. Hey, it's Friday night, shouldn't we all be out partying?
        Probably, if I knew how!

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        • #49
          Originally posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
          Probably, if I knew how!
          and if I had the $$$$$$

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          • #50
            Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post
            I have a skinny ass.. unfortunately hereditary
            Some of us, myself included, consider you fortunate.

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            • #51
              et
              Originally posted by Mess View Post
              Wow. Hey, it's Friday night, shouldn't we all be out partying?
              Sweet cheesus, we are carving jack o lanterns.. why aren't youÉ

              an exciting night here!
              Last edited by mcdreamy; 10-26-2012, 08:01 PM. Reason: ETA: grrr why does my keyboard changeÉ punctuationÉ
              Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

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              • #52
                I'm busy soaking corks.

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                • #53
                  I have this huge cork that came out of this skinny little neck, I'm trying to figure out how to get it back in..

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                  • #54
                    Originally posted by Mess View Post
                    I have this huge cork that came out of this skinny little neck, I'm trying to figure out how to get it back in..
                    Call the ship-in-a-bottle shop.

                    Dem guys know the secret.

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                    • #55
                      I'm late to the party, so I'm not drunk yet, and I'd like to stay on topic.

                      Feelings aside, and reasons for him wanting to be at your house instead of his mother's aside as well, there are safety issues here.

                      Tell him that you understand his issues, but that they are expecting him at the other house and you are not expecting him to come to yours. So if he gets on the wrong bus, they will worry about him. And you may not even be home! What if you had an errand to run or a doctor's appointment, and weren't home when he got off the bus because you weren't expecting him?

                      What you are talking about is not just manipulating the courts to side with you when the time comes to give him some say in the matter, it sounds a bit like manipulating your son as well. Part of your job as a parent is to support the other parent (and family) in your child's eyes as well.

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                      • #56
                        Originally posted by Rioe View Post
                        I'm late to the party, so I'm not drunk yet, and I'd like to stay on topic.

                        Feelings aside, and reasons for him wanting to be at your house instead of his mother's aside as well, there are safety issues here..
                        Spoil sport. It's Friday night for goodness sakes, I'm stuck doing some after hours for a friend, let's let off some steam...

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                        • #57
                          Originally posted by Mess View Post
                          Spoil sport. It's Friday night for goodness sakes, I'm stuck doing some after hours for a friend, let's let off some steam...
                          Okay, okay, I was dancing at a Halloween block party for the kids earlier. I'm all outta steam!

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                          • #58
                            so seriously, folks, if a nine year old said they wanted to run away and join the circus would you just go with it? What they want has to be addressed, but that can mean saying "no." What is the right thing to do here? Take advantage of a situation to screw your ex out of custody?

                            Have a heart to heart with your child, explain that they have two parents, two homes, and that is the reality.

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                            • #59
                              @Mess,

                              Not sure where you are going with the circus thing. Completely different scenario.

                              A 'heart to heart' talk with my son won't work when it makes no sense to him. He is already causing issues at her house with her 'double standards'. He points out the logic fail and goes with the logical one.

                              @Rioe,

                              I am manipulating if I plant the idea in his head, to get on the wrong bus. I am not doing that.

                              The schedule is complex, and hard to keep track of. When he was 7, he made a mistake twice. Life was a bit different then, and arranging to exchange him right away was easy. But, back then, I took the opportunity to explain that he was lucky I was home at got the call he was on the wrong bus so I could scramble to the stop before he got there.

                              Now, I can see the wheels turning. He is thinking about it. He walks home from the bus stop himself just a few doors up the street. A few days ago, he just blurted out that if he got home and I wasn't here - he could just go to one of his friends house until I got back etc.

                              When it happens, if it is all because of what she has done or not done, and I take advantage of the opportunity to document it etc., and maybe work towards my house being the 'after-care' program until she gets home, I don't see anything wrong with that.

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                              • #60
                                Originally posted by Rioe View Post
                                Okay, okay, I was dancing at a Halloween block party for the kids earlier. I'm all outta steam!
                                Patti Page - Steam Heat

                                Comment

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