Joint custody - Ex wants to move from ON to BC

[Links17]

I know someone who went through this and won self repped. His ex couldnt prove the benefit to moving the kids out of the community they had grown up in and had very strong educational and sport ties to. Both kids wanted to go but dad fought it and won. The decision hinged on her inability to show how it would benefit the kids. She couldnt prove that it would.

She wasn't going to:
1. get a better job or
2. get married in a solid relationship or
3. move closer to extended family
Those 3 reasons pretty much guarantee sole custody parents can move.....
Shared custody is another ballgame....

[Teenwolf]

I don't see a case for her here. Disrupting the kids routine, and minimizing time with Dad (who they have a well established relationship with) is not in their best interests.

From the case law I read, the judge has to assume that she will move (with or without the kids) and determine what is best for the kids. The court will assess: Is there family (and support) in the current location? Is the same in the new location? Does she have a job lined up that she can prove? Will the kids standard of living be better in the new location? Can Dad support the kids if she leaves? Etc...you get the idea. It's about the kids - not her desire to meet up with her boyfriend. The on-off again thing with the boyfriend will also come into play. It's about stability for the kids.

[Teddie]

My case conference is a couple of days away and my ex just added to her brief with a four page addendum about my wife. It's 4 pages of mud slinging and "he did this", and "she called me that", and "the kids are abused", and "I was threatened" and on and on.

I was expecting the worst and that's what we're getting. I think I just need to state that I'm not responding to all of these allegations unless the court needs me to. I don't know, it is a huge waste of everyone's time to argue over unproven allegations.

She is making a complete ass out of herself.

[Links17]

She is making a complete ass out of herself.

Why not? She loses nothing, they're hoping some mud sticks....

[Teddie]

Attended the case conference and my lawyer feels that it went exactly as planned. The master presiding over it didn't say a whole lot. He essentially urged both parties to resolve the initial motion to change issue of changing the weekly exchange day.

He then said that my ex has a right to seek a mobility clause if she wants to move. He never offered an opinion as to whether or not she will get one. He did say that if she starts the process that she better not change her mind part way through or he will award full costs to me.

I still think that she has no intention to move and that this is a scare tactic to have me back down. Her lawyer is requesting our consent to involve the OCL in exchange for a change to a Friday weekly exchange day. That could solve the minor issue we first brought forward.

My concern is that my 13 year old (non-biological son but raised since birth) has been living at his mom's for the last couple of months because, essentially there are no rules and he has been skipping school without consequence. If the OCL is involved and considers his wishes, would they also recommend that his 8 year old brother (my bio son) move with them. My oldest has been diagnosed with adhd, and odd (oppositional defiance disorder) and does not have the maturity of a typical kid his age. I'm worried about putting the ball in their court because he may side with his mother just so he can live his life exactly how he pleases.

My ex is a shift worker and claims that she will be doing the same work in BC. There is next to no family out there and whatever family is there, the kids have never met. Currently where we live, my kids have friends, sports, grandparents, aunts, uncles. I work a straight 8-4 Monday - Friday job and my so does the kids stepmother. We have a stable home and a consistent home.

Any advice on how to proceed? Any recommendations on who to get reference/opinion letters from (i.e. doctors, teachers, principal, daycare)?
Any info would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I am worrying too much and my lawyer keeps telling me he's not worried.....but hey, I still worry.

[rockscan]

Does your oldest have supports for his adhd and odd? A social worker or support provider in school? They would be able to provide a report on how change will affect his behaviour. Definitely make lists of activities and supports they have here and how those provide potential for success. Anything and everything you can gather, do so. Then if she does seek a mobility clause (which Im pretty sure you defend against) you have proof their lives have more support here. She would also have to show what supports she has in place for them out there including care while shes working.

[vocircuspants]

Wow your situation sounds familiar. Looking forward to seeing how it unfolds as I may be faced with similar plans. Unfortunately I have no advice but good luck! Maybe our exes are conspiring together

[Links17]

he has been skipping school without consequence

Can you prove this.

My oldest has been diagnosed with adhd, and odd (oppositional defiance disorder)

Can you prove this

and does not have the maturity of a typical kid his age

Can you prove this

[Teddie]

Wow your situation sounds familiar. Looking forward to seeing how it unfolds as I may be faced with similar plans. Unfortunately I have no advice but good luck! Maybe our exes are conspiring together

I'll keep this thread updated....although this could go on forever....

[Teddie]

Can you prove this.


Can you prove this


Can you prove this

I can prove he has been skipping school and then engaging in social activities, sleepovers, playing games online etc.

He was formally diagnosed by a psychologist with both conditions.

The psychologists report makes mention of the immaturity.

[Teddie]

Update. The guy my ex wanted to move in with in BC has broken up with her and now she is back with her on again off again boyfriend for the last 5 years. Unbelievable how much time and money this woman wasted on another one of her stupid whims.

Of course the courts allow it to happen because anyone can say anything they want in court.

[Links17]

Update. The guy my ex wanted to move in with in BC has broken up with her and now she is back with her on again off again boyfriend for the last 5 years. Unbelievable how much time and money this woman wasted on another one of her stupid whims.

Of course the courts allow it to happen because anyone can say anything they want in court.

Next time she wants to move, you can point to this incident.

[blinkandimgone]

He then said that my ex has a right to seek a mobility clause if she wants to move. He never offered an opinion as to whether or not she will get one. He did say that if she starts the process that she better not change her mind part way through or he will award full costs to me.

Anything on costs for this?

[Teddie]

Anything on costs for this?

We only ever attended the case conference and then her and her lawyer went silent on the issue. The master at the case conference warned her that if she started the process of trying to get a mobility clause, she better not back out or she will pay all of my court costs.

There should be costs awarded because my lawyer had to prepare to answer a lot of questions related to mobility. My ex lied in her CC brief by stating that she was in a long term, stable relationship when that isn't the case.