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Ex Wife wants the kids back

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  • #16
    Wow - all of your comments are so helpful. When I signed on to this site I never thought I'd see such great support from so many people. It seems much clearer to me now what I need to do. Thanks again. Will keep you posted.

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    • #17
      [quote=rwm1273;49846]I did this, and my lawyer got a nasty call from her lawyer about my cc'ing him on the emails.


      Same here... he even complained to the judge about it. I have never copied her lawyer since.

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      • #18
        Yeah, cc'ing the other lawyer directly from the client is not the right play.

        I suspect that you are so close to the situation that you were not able to see clearly that she is way out of line. I'm guessing her intimidating behaviour might have worked with you in some measure.

        Whatever, you are clearly within your rights based on what you describe. This one couldn't have been much more straight forward.

        I still think it's astonishing that she would have the cajones (sp?) to act the way she has, but want to also stress what the OP's have said. Keep it strictly business and child centred. Don't give her any reason to paint you as unreasonably as she has been.

        Still, what a dork!

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        • #19
          Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
          Yeah, cc'ing the other lawyer directly from the client is not the right play.

          I suspect that you are so close to the situation that you were not able to see clearly that she is way out of line. I'm guessing her intimidating behaviour might have worked with you in some measure.

          Still, what a dork!
          Yes exactly - what a dork. You are right though. When you're so close to it you lose site of a lot of things and the waters become so muddy. When you email one point of reason to her and get back 3 new points that make no sense, the conversation perpetuates itself into insanity.

          This is great advice that I've already started to follow. I sent a straightforward clear cut email laying down the law, kept it professional and completely child-centred. We'll see what happens from here.

          I almost hope she takes me back to court because it will give us an opportunity to shut her down properly and make her realize she is wrong. I don't want her not to see her kids, just to follow the court order so we can live our lives. She seems convinced that she is going to get custody back.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by J_Kitchener2010 View Post
            Yes exactly - what a dork. You are right though. When you're so close to it you lose site of a lot of things and the waters become so muddy. When you email one point of reason to her and get back 3 new points that make no sense, the conversation perpetuates itself into insanity.

            This is great advice that I've already started to follow. I sent a straightforward clear cut email laying down the law, kept it professional and completely child-centred. We'll see what happens from here.

            I almost hope she takes me back to court because it will give us an opportunity to shut her down properly and make her realize she is wrong. I don't want her not to see her kids, just to follow the court order so we can live our lives. She seems convinced that she is going to get custody back.
            If you email her on point one and she replies with various matters, ignore anything that is not directly related to the children. You have to ignore points that are irrelevent to the issue at hand. So if she complains that she doesn't have a car, or has difficulties exercising her access, you can either ignore it or reply stating that:

            "While I will continue to facilitate your parenting time in anyway possible, your transportation concerns are not my issue to rectify. The children are available to attend your parenting time pursuant to clause X of our court order. If you should advise me in advance that you are not able to attend your parenting time on a specific day, I am willing to discuss rescheduling to a time mutually convenient.

            If you are having continued issues problems exercising your parenting time, I would be willing to attend mediation in order to work out an arrangement that is mutually agreeble. However, until a new agreement is reached or the courts have determined otherwise, I must insist that we follow the provisions of the current court order, as I believe it is in the best interests of the children."

            But ultimately, you just ignore her fluff. If she plays the "woh is me" card, ignore it, no need to respond. If she asks about the kids, you answer her questions and move along.

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            • #21
              I almost hope she takes me back to court because it will give us an opportunity to shut her down properly and make her realize she is wrong. I don't want her not to see her kids, just to follow the court order so we can live our lives. She seems convinced that she is going to get custody back.
              Jeebus...sounds JUST like my ex. Of course, she has her free lawyer to help perpetuate THAT line of insanity.

              Though I expect he's tired of her as well, he's long since hit the max cap he's able to bill on her case, and he CAN'T drop her as a client.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by NBDad View Post
                Jeebus...sounds JUST like my ex. Of course, she has her free lawyer to help perpetuate THAT line of insanity.

                Though I expect he's tired of her as well, he's long since hit the max cap he's able to bill on her case, and he CAN'T drop her as a client.
                Assuming she will take me to court and her lawyer sees this through, would it be a long motion she would apply for? Or a motion to change. If there is a motion to change, I as the respondent, will be able to propose changes of my own?

                Forgive me I am new to this site and have researched this to a point... it all gets confusing after a while.

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                • #23
                  Or you can ask the members of the forum for advice with the paperwork

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by rwm1273 View Post
                    Is this an Ontario only regulation?

                    I know a few paralegals that do good business writing and filing family law documents here in Alberta.

                    They do not go to court for the person, but are great sources of cheap guidance.
                    No...with the new legislation having paralegals accredited by Law Societies, they are not allowed to enter into family law advice or representation...Prior to that, they could do and offer whatever assistance they could provide, but the new rules went into place a few years back.

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