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School/Daycare Drop Offs & Pick Ups

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  • School/Daycare Drop Offs & Pick Ups

    At my recent Case Conference, I tried to get school drop off and pick ups, but that didnt get awarded (ex didn't want it), pick up and drop offs are still happening in the lobby of my apartment building.

    With this litigation going on, its tense between the ex and I, and as much as I try to ignore and take the high road, its just pushing my buttons, and adding drama for the children imo.

    Its these long drawn out pick ups where ex checks the kids bags to make sure they have everything they needs for the visit (yes I know I shouldnt have to pack a bag, but heaven forbid they forget something, then I have to drive it over). And ex feels that if he pays child support, the other parent needs to supply everything for the weekend visit, i.e. toys, electronics, clothes and any extra he may need like skates, helmets etc.

    Drop offs arent much better, because there is a long drawn out good-bye, how much Daddy's going to miss them for 2 weeks, how much he loves them and is going to miss them, how a Judge needs to decide everything now, its just causing undue stress and anxiety on the kids imo. If he didnt have the audience (me), I dont think this would happen. And I dont think a bus driver or daycare worker would allow it.

    So I want to try one more time at a Motion (i'm there anyway for Section 7) to ask the Judge to do the school drop off and pick up. Someone mentioned to me, I need to position myself better for the next court round. How do I do this???

    I am getting a "position" letter on this from CAS, anything else I can do?

  • #2
    He doesnt work, he is on "stress leave", they are 3 & 7 too young imo, and CAS would have a fit

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    • #3
      Do you have a friend or family member who can do it? Or possibly just drop them off at his house and pick them up?

      The more he sees it doesnt bother you, the sooner he stops playing this game. Your ex is a jerk, theres no way to change that.

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      • #4
        My Mom did it for a few months, but she doesn't live close and doesn't want to do it long term. If the neighbors are around they will do it, but again I think its a lot to ask long term. I am looking towards the future and since I am asking for the courts to decide, I think the school/daycare makes the most sense.

        If I have to do drop off and pick up, I will only agree if its at an Access Centre which may be the route to go. Last time I drove to his house at Christmas I got accused of vandalizing his property. I'm trying to avoid the Access Centre, because of their hours it would again reduce his hours.

        Yes, he is being a Jerk right now, but I do have some hope that after time and the court battle is over, it will settle some what. Not too long ago he said to me "what happened to you, you used to be so fun". Recently I just feel I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.

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        • #5
          What if you just simplify the process? Tell your kids you will say your goodbyes together at your apratment and not downstairs, then say your goodbyes to your kids at your apartment and go downstairs just wave goodbye quickly and leave. He can stay there and look through the bags all he wants while you are already walking up the stairs back to your apartment. Make sure you dont forget to send anything essential like, special teddy bear, If you forget something else then just dont go over to his house, let him go out and buy it himself. If you forget the toothbrush, then he will either not brush their teeth or go and get one, either way the world wont end, and you will no longer be at his beck and call.

          Same with pickups, tell him you will come downstairs when he is done saying goodbye. If he keeps it up when you arrive, say you have to go, and take the kids by the hand and go upstairs. Make your pickups and drop offs quick.

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          • #6
            I completely agree Denbigh, easier said then done. I am willing to try anything to make these transitions go smoother.

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            • #7
              Hes only doing this because he didnt get his way. The telling kids info is bs. You should have your phone out and tell him you are recording the pick ups for future use if necessary. That might clamp down on the poor behaviour and hurry the whole situation up!

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              • #8
                sometimes you just have to say what your boundaries are and keep to them. Just decide where you are willing to do.not do and just leave. If the antics are for your benefit then removing yourself should end them. if you have to tell him anyting you could do it via email, so you dont have to actually have a discussion at the drop off.

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