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  • #31
    I just can't stand where you have email trails and conversation and an agreement not to seek any additional money for support.

    This agreement adequately and completely provides for the present and future needs of the husband and wife, and each covenants and agrees that the arrangement herein described constitutes a full ,complete and final settlement of all rights, causes, claims , and demands with respect to support and property.

    Also emails stating she does not plan to seek spousal support.

    Yes the Lawyer asked us when we signed it if we waved the right to legal advice and seaked it on our own. it also mentions that in our agreement.

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    • #32
      You really have to read miglin vs miglin the analysis and the current applications of it. Your point is very arguable... you have the right to finality, she was in a new stable relationship and like in many SS agreements cohabitation can cancel alimony, in her case since she was already in teh relationship, she already triggered that.

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      • #33
        She never really lived with him just dated silently,
        The whole thing sucks to have someone almost 2 years later come back looking for money. I guess the biggest concern is the agreement didn't not say specific spousal. but did say the below

        This agreement adequately and completely provides for the present and future needs of the husband and wife, and each covenants and agrees that the arrangement herein described constitutes a full ,complete and final settlement of all rights, causes, claims , and demands with respect to support and property.

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        • #34
          Well I went back with 7 years $600.00 a month and she said she is going to seek a more formal approach??? not close enough to her number she wanted.

          This whole thing just sucks so bad. almost 2 years since she left and now still going on. I guess that means she wants to go to court.

          Does anyone know what I should suspect from here? or any ideas what I should do. I spoke with my lawyer and said we pretty much just have to wait till she files. I just don't want to waste a ton of money on lawyers but I guess that is the route she wants to take. But I guess she will have to waste it too

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          • #35
            so you wait for her to file a Notice of Motion in which she will have to prove her eligibility for SS. Once you are served you look it over and start doing your research. You will probably have 30 days to respond. Always remember that you can/should make formal offers to settle.

            Youthfulness can play against someone seeking long-term SS. If your ex is young enough to get back into the work force and/or train for new career then that will be a hurdle she will have to cross at some time.

            Of course you will have by now instructed your lawyer that any and all correspondence be approved by you? You don't want your lawyer making any side agreements with the opposing counsel without your consent. You should also have a very frank and honest discussion with your lawyer about your legal costs going forward. Insist on regular monthly invoices. Discuss a budget. In other words, let your lawyer know right at the start that he/she doesn't have a blank cheque for this.

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            • #36
              Thanks for the advice. I'm so frustrated with the whole thing and how greedy she got, I guess this point I just wait for the next step. The stress is putting me through the roof.

              I wanna thank everyone for all the support and advice and please keep it coming so one day I can help others like I have been helped

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              • #37
                My partner stresses about things his ex doesnt do or when she goes silent or when he doesnt know what her next steps are. The thing I always tell him is that he cannot control other people, he can only control his reaction. Until she pulls the trigger youre just going to stress yourself out over what might be. Stop. You have options when she finally does make a move and you are able to fight it accordingly. Save your energy for that battle rather than right now over silence. For now, get some sleep, exercise, spend time with friends and focus on all the positive things in your life.

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                • #38
                  Thanks so much for that Rockscan
                  I try and do that everyday but I thought that I was so close to closure when she left Sept 2014 then all this starts. It just so hard sometimes to be myself around the kids with the amount of stress this causing. Its sad because it does effect them in an indirect way. I'll try and stay strong for them alone...

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                  • #39
                    You have to stay focused on positive interactions with your kids. They are separate from your ex and her issues. You also need to continue to remind them you love them and nothing will change that. Especially if your ex chooses to drag them in. Regardless of what is happening between you two, the kids are to be treated the same way as always.

                    It is hard. I will say that. Its hard to see past all the bs. You have to train yourself mentally. Meditate if possible. Write down how you feel on a piece of paper and put it in a jar or a box. Go for a walk or run. Or even just play a violent video game (my partners chosen activity when the walking and meditation doesnt work). You will survive this. Keep reminding yourself of that!

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                    • #40
                      She came back with $600.00 for 8 years

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                      • #41
                        That's better for you than your 50k offer. Less than 60k and tax deductible.

                        Congrats

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