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  • Change of parenting schedule via email

    My separation agreement lays out a parenting schedule. This schedule was based on my work schedule, which is mon-thurs. So basically Sunday night - Thursday after school, my daughter7 was with her mom, and Thursday after school - Sunday night with me. After 3 months I was able to work out a deal with my boss (more flexibility) so that I could get her during work days, I asked ex if we could do week on/off and she agreed. This has been going on another 3 months, (sep. agreement states "residency time will only be altered if both parties agree to in writing") We had all of these conversations via email.

    In making the schedule change I took on some pretty hefty daycare costs (she had her own), especially during the summer. Our agreement splits section 7 costs @ 75%mine/25%hers. I really don't think my ex has any clue that daycare costs are section 7, honestly neither did I until very recently. I just received my first bill, and I'm afraid once she finds out she needs to pay for part of my daycare she'll want to go back to the original schedule. This would be bad for me and bad for our daughter, the more transitions she went through the harder it was on her. Since the change it's been way easier for her, and myself, can't speak for the ex.

    The fact that the schedule change was agreed upon via email and not "in writing" per say, is that a problem?

  • #2
    If she is not aware then I guess that means you are not contributing to her costs. So why not just continue to each pay your own costs? Is your bill more than 3x hers?

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    • #3
      Via email is in writing, I believe.

      Aside from that, section 7 expenses need to be consented to prior to incurring the expense in order to be shared. Daycare is a bit different as it is required to facilitate work so she would have a difficult time disputing the costs. Receipts from the daycare should be provided and the whole of the amounts, hers and yours, shared proportionate to income, taking into consideration applicable tax credits.

      Now if she is available to watch the kid while you are at work, that may be a different story.

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      • #4
        Also depending on where you live and how much money she makes, she might have argued that she could have applied for subsidized daycare and shouldn't fit the bill.
        Is the child in daycare when she is at mom's (your letter sort of says that) and have you been contributing to that?
        If you and you start asking for her amount, she may ask you to go back a year and pay hers.
        At the end of the day is that amount worth the conflict? You have to ask yourself that.

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        • #5
          No I haven't contributed yet to her costs, but like I said I just recently found out about this and have no problem doing so. I'll go back 6 months and pay. But to her every expense needs to be split 75/25, including all activities. Daughter takes ballet and piano. I've been paying 75% of those because she refuses to go 50/50, and I don't want my daughter to lose out because of this but it has to stop.

          Also found out she hasn't paid her daycare bill the past 6 months, not sure what's going on there... Honestly if I retro it will cost me more this time, but going forward my costs will be way higher than hers as her main costs were from prior to the schedule change. If I do that though I want to retro the activity costs then, that will be a problem...

          As for proportionate income and tax credits, I wish but our section 7 wording locks it @ 75/25, which was appropriate at the time but my main problem is that she has multiple sources of hidden income. And tax credits, I think only people who pay taxes should get those. The bulk of her income comes from a cash business, she didn't declare this and only pays taxes on her "real job" income working 2x6hr days a week.

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          • #6
            If your agreement states the cost is to be shared 75/25 then it means exactly that : the out of pocket cost.

            And the actual cost is after tax credits are applied. Same as the activities. That's the way it works.

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            • #7
              focusing on your email agreement worrying, it is good but not perfect. She agreed IN WRITING and wont be easy to find a reason for change of mind if she decides to but have it printed and signed by both parties.Having it included in your agreement would be rock solid.

              Comment

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