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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 01-24-2006, 04:02 PM
giller2 giller2 is offline
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Default When to introduce new 'friend' to daughter

Hello all. My wife and I seperated 4 months ago. Since then, I started dating someone, who I just recently moved in with. I have every intention of this new friend of mine being around for a long long long time. And as my daughter is so very important to me and my life, I very much want my new friend to meet her, as my daughter is really apart of me. My daughter is 3. Any suggestions on when this can be done? The last thing I want to do is upset or confuse my daughter. What's best for the child in this situation? Any thoughts or experiences anyone can share? Thanks!
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Old 01-24-2006, 06:33 PM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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Giller,

I think you daughter is young even to understand what has happened between you and her mother.
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Old 01-24-2006, 08:31 PM
giller2 giller2 is offline
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Given her young age, is it okay to just go ahead and introduce her? My exwife is very concerned about the impact it will have on Sydney, but I am unsure as to whether or not she is more concerned with herself or our daughter. I am finding it very difficult to be impartial here. Any and all suggestions would be most welcome!
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Old 01-24-2006, 09:34 PM
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hubby hubby is offline
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Mother nature gives you a two year lease on love ... after that, the fun begins.

Children are extremely intelligent and do understand at 3 what is going on ... any chance of reconcilliation with ex?

You're moving quick. I believe they call it ... um, rebounding? I'd wait it out, but if you must make introductions, keep it very civil and low key in front of the child.

God gave you the gift of choice, choose and live with the consequences is one part of life.

Hubby
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Old 01-25-2006, 08:30 AM
CatvsLion CatvsLion is offline
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Kind of the same situation I was/am in.

I met a new friend after 6 months, started dated and introduced after almost 2 months to my daughter (just casual hello). Then from there it was gradual. After almost 10 months my daughter still only spends time with my g/f and I about 25% of the time.

I'm curious though... do you have overnight visits with your daughter? This is the main issue with my situation right now - as my x doesn't believe that my g/f won't stay overnight when I have my daughter - so no more overnights at the moment.
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Old 01-26-2006, 08:34 PM
giller2 giller2 is offline
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No, we don't have overnight visits at this time, as I am living with my GF. I live about an hour away, so go up once or twice through the week after work, and then usually head up after Church on Sunday for a few hours in the afternoon. We just stay at the house, or go do some shopping or to the park when the weather allows...
My ex-wife is very concerned that meeting someone new at this stage will just cause Sydney more confussion. I just don't see how this could affect a 2.5 year old simply by meeting someone. It's driving me crazy, cause unfortunately, all I can think is that my exwife is just doing it out of spite. I am having trouble being impartial here.
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Old 01-27-2006, 08:34 AM
CatvsLion CatvsLion is offline
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In my opinion kids meet new people all the time.. it depends how you introduce this 'friend' to your daughter... As in my situation, for the first little while my g/f was just that - a friend - like any of my male or female friends. I think it raises some concern if you start showing effection, or if they're around all the time etc right away in front of your daughter with someone else. I think time-lines very in everyone's opinion.
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Old 01-28-2006, 10:19 PM
howdIgethere howdIgethere is offline
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Default Slow down a little

You are moving a little quickly..how long were you married? Your new girlfriend is now filling a hole in your heart. I was seperated for almost 7 months and never thought I would now be attempting to work the marraige back out of the horrible cleft it was in. You may be "in love" but don't let the stars in your eyes blind you to what your daughter still sees...Mommy and Daddy. Your are both her whole world. Do what you feel you must to make yourself happy but keep your daughter happy to happy too, little eyes are not blind.
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Old 01-29-2006, 04:17 AM
ExWife2Many ExWife2Many is offline
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I think you should introduce your daughter to your new friend. If your daughter is anything like mine, she will quickly make friends with your friend. Mostly children are like this in their early years. And if you decide to become more then friends, a good daughter and mother connect should be formed.
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Old 01-30-2006, 08:35 PM
homer homer is offline
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The earlier the better. The younger the better too.

Try introducing a "friend" to a teenage daughter or son.. its a nightmare
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