Like a few other people who posted threads in this forum, I realized I should have started here...lol.
I am a single mom with two beautiful young, energetic boys, 6 and 4. I am currently working full-time towards obtaining my Master's degree at University, after completing my B. Ed.; this in addition to being full-time mom to my boys. I have been separated from my husband for almost 3 years, and as of last week, will be serving him with divorce papers sometime this week (I hope they can serve him-he seems to be able to disappear on command). I have had complete and sole custody of the boys for the last 2 and 1/2 years, and in that time I can probably count on two hands the number of times he has actually seen the boys. As he has a very restricted access clause, thanks to my lawyer. But when he was presented with the custody papers, he read them, and didn't even bother to argue about that clause, he just signed away. Which in my opinion the boys are better off, even when we were married and living together he really had no time for the kids--as that would have interferred with his drinking and gambling. Never mind all the abuse that I endured during our marriage...nothing was ever important or sacred to him. I only stayed in the marriage because I thought it was the best thing to do for the boys. I didn't want them to be the product of a broken home. After one specific incident I came to realize that what we were living in was certainly not the environment I wanted my boys to grow up in. So it was then and there that I decided to change a negative, destructive environment into a positive, encouraging one. I will admit it was difficult in the beginning to be on my own...the boys at the time were 3 and 1and I was a stay-at-home mom. But I knew I had to do what was right for the boys and I...sadly we had to sell our house...as his debt collectors came knocking (he was self-employed and had seemingly secured loans against the house, without my consent, as we were joint owners of the home) and at the time he was nowhere to be found. No sense in crying over what has been lost, only look towards what can be acheived.
Without the love and support offerd by my family and friends I would not have been able to realize my potential as an individual. Nor would I now be able to offer my boys a loving, stable environment for which they can grow and flourish as individuals. The boys and I are now back in a house that we can call our own, and the boys are very happy and content.
I realize now that if I had of been a weaker person, all of his verbal and physical abuse would have broken me...and that is what he wanted. But he could never do that, and for that I am grateful. I have risen above what I lived through, and am striving to make a decent life for the boys and I. I hope any one who reads this thread will be able to take what I have said, and use it in their own lives...knowing that if you are here reading what I wrote, then you too are capable of turning something negative into something positive. You have the power to change your circumstances, and you obviously are a strong willed individual if you too have had to endure unpleasant circumstances and are still here to fight another day!
I just wanted to say thank you to the creators of this site. It is a wonderful outlet to try and work your problems or situations through. Or if you have specific questions, post them, and and you are guaranteed to find useful and insightful responses to your quandaries.
Good luck to all who enter this site.
I am a single mom with two beautiful young, energetic boys, 6 and 4. I am currently working full-time towards obtaining my Master's degree at University, after completing my B. Ed.; this in addition to being full-time mom to my boys. I have been separated from my husband for almost 3 years, and as of last week, will be serving him with divorce papers sometime this week (I hope they can serve him-he seems to be able to disappear on command). I have had complete and sole custody of the boys for the last 2 and 1/2 years, and in that time I can probably count on two hands the number of times he has actually seen the boys. As he has a very restricted access clause, thanks to my lawyer. But when he was presented with the custody papers, he read them, and didn't even bother to argue about that clause, he just signed away. Which in my opinion the boys are better off, even when we were married and living together he really had no time for the kids--as that would have interferred with his drinking and gambling. Never mind all the abuse that I endured during our marriage...nothing was ever important or sacred to him. I only stayed in the marriage because I thought it was the best thing to do for the boys. I didn't want them to be the product of a broken home. After one specific incident I came to realize that what we were living in was certainly not the environment I wanted my boys to grow up in. So it was then and there that I decided to change a negative, destructive environment into a positive, encouraging one. I will admit it was difficult in the beginning to be on my own...the boys at the time were 3 and 1and I was a stay-at-home mom. But I knew I had to do what was right for the boys and I...sadly we had to sell our house...as his debt collectors came knocking (he was self-employed and had seemingly secured loans against the house, without my consent, as we were joint owners of the home) and at the time he was nowhere to be found. No sense in crying over what has been lost, only look towards what can be acheived.
Without the love and support offerd by my family and friends I would not have been able to realize my potential as an individual. Nor would I now be able to offer my boys a loving, stable environment for which they can grow and flourish as individuals. The boys and I are now back in a house that we can call our own, and the boys are very happy and content.
I realize now that if I had of been a weaker person, all of his verbal and physical abuse would have broken me...and that is what he wanted. But he could never do that, and for that I am grateful. I have risen above what I lived through, and am striving to make a decent life for the boys and I. I hope any one who reads this thread will be able to take what I have said, and use it in their own lives...knowing that if you are here reading what I wrote, then you too are capable of turning something negative into something positive. You have the power to change your circumstances, and you obviously are a strong willed individual if you too have had to endure unpleasant circumstances and are still here to fight another day!
I just wanted to say thank you to the creators of this site. It is a wonderful outlet to try and work your problems or situations through. Or if you have specific questions, post them, and and you are guaranteed to find useful and insightful responses to your quandaries.
Good luck to all who enter this site.
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